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Full disclosure: I’m a bit of an eavesdropper.
When I’m in public at a restaurant or a bar and I get bored, I like to listen in on other peoples’ conversations.
Hey, what can I say? It passes the time. And once in a while, you hear some really dumb and funny stuff from people.
Here’s what AskReddit users had to say about stupid things they’ve overheard people say.
1. You’re…dumb…
“While driving around Mexico City.
Person 1: Wow Mexico City is huge…
Me: Yeah, I think it’s one of the biggest cities in the world.
American girl: Nah-uh. Texas is.”
2. Clone the trees!
“My friend has said two of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard. We were discussing climate change solutions in class and she says:
‘Can’t we fill a hot air balloon with all the carbon dioxide and send it into space?’
And regarding deforestation:
‘Why don’t we just clone fully grown trees?’”
3. Think about that…
“Standing at the foot of the Jesus statue in Rio de Janeiro I heard an American ask his tourist guide: “Are these mountains natural or man-made?”
4. Good observation.
“At the DMV, girl sitting behind me talking to another lady.
“Yeah, her 12 month old has to be as least… I’d say at least a year old now.””
5. Don’t eat that!
““What are you talking about? Bread doesn’t go bad!”
My roommate getting ready to make a sandwich with a green and purple 3 month old loaf of bread.”
6. Must be a genius.
“While in Thailand I had someone say “I don’t like it, there are just too many asians here.”.
7. Idiot.
“At the Holocaust Museum; was taking an elevator to the top floor, it was pretty crowded in there since it was a weekend.
Middle aged man with douchey sunglasses loudly exclaims: “IS THIS THE PART WHERE THEY GAS US?!”.
Our guide, who was giving us a preface of the museum then went totally silent. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard someone say aloud in a public setting.”
8. Just look at it.
“I once heard a woman proudly state how the White House was even more impressive in person.
She was looking at the Capitol.”
9. I think you’re right!
“”You do know that the government adds the caffeine to coffee, it’s not normally there, they just want as many addictive substances floating around as they can” the table behind me in a cafe…
I had to go clench everything.”
10. It’s miserable.
“I took my dad to see one of his favourite musicals a few years’ ago. We were sat in the stalls near the back, and at the interval I was dying to use the bathroom, so as soon as the curtain came down, I hopped into the queue.
A woman and her daughter who were sitting in front of us joined the line behind me and were discussing the show. The daughter said ‘It’s good and all that, but I just want to tell them to stop being so miserable and to cheer up.’
We were watching Les Miserables.”
11. Just head on over!
“Girl in class once asked:
“If African people are so hungry, why don’t they just go to McDonald’s?””
12. Just move the sign.
“That lady who called into the radio show with her brilliant idea in relation to deer and highways.
She suggested they move the deer crossing sign somewhere else so the deer don’t cross over the highway anymore.”
13. Brilliant.
“When talking about a book with a group of people, one individual who hadn’t contributed anything to the discussion until this point exclaimed “that’s not a book, that’s a movie”.
They also don’t know who George W. Bush is so they’re really just an idiot.”
14. Directions.
“North, south, east, west is all relative. It depends on the way your are facing” when someone was telling them they were on the north side of a building.”
15. Oh, boy…
“I worked in an extremely rich neighborhood on Chicago’s north shore. The local high school is where Mean Girls was based on.
One day I went into Starbucks for lunch and two high school girls were talking in line when one says, “I think I’m just going to ask my dad to return it. If I can’t have a pink Ferrari, I seriously don’t think I want one at all.”
The other girl says, “I don’t know, I don’t think the gray is that bad…””
16. Where people shine.
“Honestly, Family Feud is filled with such amazing examples: –
Q: At what month of pregnancy does a woman begin to look pregnant A: September
Q: Name a state from the letter M A: Mexico
Q: Name an animal with 3 letters in its name A: I kid you not, he said, with full confidence, “Alligator”
Q: Name something that comes with a summer storm A: Apparently snow
Q: Name one thing that follows the work ‘pork’ A: upine
Q: Name a brand of fuel A: First guy said ‘Regular’ and the next guy said ‘ethyl’
Q: What does your husband do when he runs out of clean underwear A: He takes a pair of mine (as said by wife)
Q: Name a famous ‘Willie’ A: Willie The Pooh
I love this show so much.”
How about you?
What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever heard out in public?
Talk to us in the comments!
