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People Share 21 Perfectly Brutal and Honest New Slogans For Popular Brands

There are a ton of businesses and products and other types of offerings out there that just, you know…they’re not doing their best. Or maybe they are, and it’s just not good enough.

Sometimes we can simply avoid those brands and our lives are better for it, but sometimes they’re things that, for one reason or another, we have to continue to use.

Those are the moments that call for these hilarious, brutal, and honest rebrandings, because there’s nothing else to do when you love to hate something that won’t get out of your life.

21. I hope you have a good vacuum.

Nature valley bars: F**k you! Here’s some crumbs.

20. Bless everyone still holding on.

Tinder: Pay extra to stop us from co*kblocking you.

19. There’s something about the way they present things in there…

Target : When you’ll pay a little more to not shop at Walmart.

18. It’s not like Disneyland.

WalMart: you’re near broke but you need stuff.

Wal-Mart: Our mascot is the only employee smiling.

17. Only if you take Canadian money.

Pepsi: is Pepsi ok?

16. Hahaha we know you don’t have any good options.

Comcast: The number one choice for people with no choice.

15. It’s why we love them.

Its late.

You’re stoned.

We’re still open.

Taco Bell

14. Oof. That hurts.

Gap Kids: for kids by kids.

“And we pass the slavings onto you!”–spokesperson Hershel “Krusty the Klown” Krustofsky

13. In more ways than one.

Ex-Lax: Because you’ve got sh%t to do.

12. Not a one.

Friskies – 42 Flavors Your Cat Won’t Eat

11. Hopefully, anyway.

Ramen: you get paid in a few days.

10. At least we know what they’re doing.

EA: Bringing Gambling Addiction to your Phone

Konami: Sales are mandatory, effort not recommended.

9. Regret is for later.

McDonalds: Eat it you filthy animal.

You don’t feel full. You just feel… different.

8. They must be afraid to write anything these days.

The onion: this wasn’t supposed to be a prediction.

The Onion: We were just fucking about and someone took us seriously

7. Also have some blisters.

Payless Shoes: Pay less. Get less. Buy another pair in 4 months.

6. Some of these are hitting a little bit hard, y’all.

The Simpsons: We don’t predict the future.

The problems of the 90s were never fixed.

5. No one knows about history anyway.

Chiquita Bananas: It was only a few massacres, not like you can find other banana brands anyway.

4. And none of them are pleasant.

Hot Pockets: Every bite is a different temperature

3. We’ve got you right where we want you.

1-800- Flowers—-waited till the last minute? pay up mother fucker.

2. Eh, they’re just there to collect data.

Instagram: When you want to feel terrible about your inadequate life.

1. Hope you enjoy!

Nestle: “children died to bring you this!”

Nestle: “Taste the Oppression!”

Perfection, each and every one.

What would you add to this list? Make us laugh in the comments!