If you’ve ever wondered what’s so awe inspiring about seeing the pyramids of Giza or floating around in a gondola in Venice, wonder no longer. According to the well-traveled commentors of Reddit, those places just suck. These tourists laid down some pretty legit reasons to avoid these traps. If you have a trip planned for any of these destinations, pack your bags for warm weather, because you’re going straight to Hell.
1. Times Square – NYC.
CinnaSol was severely disappointed by Times Square, which is unsurprising to locals, who are well aware that the once-gritty theatrical mecca has become a sanitized commercial space.
Times Square is cool for all of 30 seconds until you realize how crowded it is and how obnoxious everybody there is. There’s just a bunch of chain stores and people in creepy ass discount costumes selling pictures, and there’s not much else to do.
Cinna believes the the Great White Way still has value, just not when everyone else is there. Their recommendation is to go late at night when there are less people around—a recommendation that proves how much the once-seedy, porn-filled streets have changed.
Commenter edlike confirms that a late night visit is the way to go, writing:
It’s a cesspool and the mascots are terrible, but I have to agree that late at night the sheer brightness, spectacle, and scale of it is pretty impressive.
2. Dubai.
PacSan300 hated the artificiality of it:
Dubai. It’s the most soulless, cultureless, and artificial city I’ve been to. The shameless and obscene display of bling-bling only adds to this vibe, and the supertall skyscrapers and mega malls get old sooner or later.
To top it off, all of this is built overnight on what is essentially slave labor
earthmoonsun agreed, but at least had some alternative suggestions:
If you like to see fancy skyscrapers and modern shopping malls, visit Hong Kong, Shanghai, Tokyo, or Singapore. Dubai gets boring within one afternoon.
3. Plymouth (fucking) Rock.
There’s a reason we used pilgrim salt and pepper shakers to portray Plymouth Rock: a picture of a rock would be really boring. Redditor gronkspike25 thinks a vacation to one is, too:
Plymouth fucking rock. It’s just a fucking rock. There is nothing special about it. It looks like all the other normal rocks out there. It’s a waste of a first grade field trip which anyone from the Northeast has been on.
The only possible good thing about it is that it [has] a pretty cool area down by the waterfront with some good restaurants.
UseApostrophesBetter, a local:
I’m from a few towns away, and it’s the least exciting famous rock out there. It’s in a cage on a beach, and the rock itself is only about the size of a wheelbarrow now because whoever designed the cage forgot to make the bars too narrow for a kid to fit through. I’m pretty sure I have a piece of it somewhere.
It almost seems like it’d be more interesting to visit that guy’s personal Plymouth shard.
4. Mount Rushmore.
More like mount Judgemore, amirite? This hallmark of Americana just isn’t getting the respect it used to. Per andrewaugare:
Mount Rushmore, hey it looks just like the pictures, so nice to take a picture of it from the exact same view as every other picture of it. I bet everyone wants to see my pictures from Mount Rushmore.
5. The Mona Lisa.
You know, one of the most famous pieces of art in all of history. Yeah, that one. The one even the art illiterate can recognize. Well Rumold thinks that since you already know that Miss Lisa looks like, there’s no point in meeting her in person:
The Mona Lisa. A tiny alright looking painting that you have seen a thousand times that you are a few feet away from.
For the most part, people agreed, but they made sure to point out not to avoid the Louvre altogether. And as long as you are going to the Louvre, Lying_idiot makes a good point in favor of seeing it:
It is pretty famous. Most likely passing through the room anyway, might as well look at it, rather than making it a point to not do it.
And for everyone who was really upset that Mona was getting snubbed like a salad at the prom, pm_me_ankle_nudes comes to her defense:
Alright, I’ll be the one to defend it. It is an undisputed masterpiece (3/4 shot, use of chiaroscuro, one of about a dozen surviving Da Vinci paintings)… Ya’ll acting like the painting was slapped together with a cum sock and spit on your grandmothers graves.
Well said.
6. Egypt (especially Cairo).
To say nothing of the grandeur of the pyramids, _Polite_as_Fuck has a practical reason to avoid this spot:
Egypt, especially Cairo; dirty filthy place.
If you’re a woman, don’t go if you don’t want to be harassed by men; 98% of women are sexually harassed or assaulted in Egypt.
EDIT: sorry guys I was wrong with that statistic, it’s actually 99%
He even provided links to back up his statistic. Bummer. Looks like if you want to experience being in the presence of the OG manmade wonder, you should have been born a man.
7. Los Angeles. The whole damn city.
Maldork hated it:
Los Angeles. I know a lot of people who haven’t been there before want to go because it has Hollywood, celebrities, sunshine, beaches, and attractive people. In reality? Its a hot mess with trash nearly everywhere, overcrowded stores and malls, the air is just smog and the smell of gasoline mixed together, traffic is the worst on the entire west coast, people tend to be assholes and bad drivers, and everything is overpriced. Granted, some people are nice and LA has its places and moments but 95% of the time if you want to come to the US or California you can probably find a much better place.
Still want to go to southern California? PacSan300 suggests San Diego instead. “It beats LA in cleanliness, beaches, Mexican food, beer, livability and other things.”
8. Tijuana
So, ok, go to San Diego, but do not cross the border, or as thouhastfuckethmychi points out you’ll find:
Tijuana
It’s just a giant worthless shithole. Go to Rosarito instead.
But seriously, wherever in Mexico you can find a donkey in a hammock, that’s where you should go.
9. Venice
Maybe you never even thought about going to Venice, but if you read this scathing hate speech against the city, you’ll NEVER want to. Whelpie writes:
Venice.
Now, let me explain here. So you get in your car, you drive to this place. Now, you’ve got a couple options. You can park close by and walk to the actual city, and pay bank for your parking. Or you can park a bit away and take a fucking dirty-ass water taxi there, which takes 40 minutes to get where Jesus could’ve walked in 10. But that’s just the fucking start of it, right? Standard for any tourist destination, sucks to park. Oh no, but we’re only starting.
The streets are not only fucking filthy, they’re tiny. In some places, you literally cannot walk two people, side by side, without squeezing up against the walls. Makes for a great time when you’re trying to get past some obese, sweaty Dutch tourist (Apologies to Dutch people everywhere). There’s way too many people in this fucking tiny-ass place. And the shops? More than half of the shops are either glass sculpture shops or they sell those stupid carnival masks. I am not joking, this is not exaggeration. Literally over half the shops you see will sell either glass or carnival masks. I get that it’s traditional and specific to Venice, but it’s still way too fucking much.
Oh, but you don’t want to squeeze through these tiny-ass, dingy streets. You wanna go see something cool, like Piazza San Marco. You probably played Assassin’s Creed or some shit. Well, not only do they not take well to attempts at dive assassinations, but the pigeons are also fucking everywhere. Everywhere. And they want your food. And because you’re a dumbass tourist, you will feed these flying rats, because at first you will think that all these pigeons are cool. That’s your mistake, though. These fuckers will mob you, begging for food. You’ll only be able to make that mistake once, though, as your flesh is devoured by hundred of ravenous little disease repositories.
But, fuck, maybe you don’t care. Maybe you just want a cup of coffee while overlooking the Piazza. 10 euros. No, that’s just for the cup of coffee. No, it doesn’t come with anything. No, that’s not half a cup, that’s the whole thing. Afterwards, you can visit the fucking doge palace, where the fucking floors are wobbly as fuck for some reason. Enjoy not knowing whether that fat Dutch guy will lead you both to an untimely death-by-fall as he starts bouncing up and down on the wobbly floor in delight (Is he fucking following you around or some shit, the fuck?). Oh, but this delightful experience does, of course require that you wait outside in line for an hour first, in the Italian sun and heat. Because fuck you, that’s why.
Oh, but then there’s the best part. I’ve only experienced this once. You see, one time I was in Venice at night, and the sewers overflowed. I shit you not. This is a thing that apparently happens at regular intervals. The sewers overflow, shit water all over the streets, and it fills up fucking fast. Yeah. Enjoy Venice, motherfucker.
If you absolutely must go to that place, keep a few things in mind:
- The further it is from Piazza San Marco, the more you get for your money.
- This is not the place to get ice cream. It’s way overpriced. On a similar note, don’t bother with the restaurants. Grab some street food from a vendor. It tastes fine, and it’s much better value for your money.
- Get out before the shit water rises. Seriously.
- Try some of the fruit from fruit stands. It is absolutely amazing. That goes for most of the big cities in Italy, but I had to put something here.
- Watch the fuck out for your wallet, seriously. It’s not even that Venetians are especially steal-y, it’s just that if you happen to be someone hoping to get by on stealing, Venice is one of the best places you could possibly be doing it with all the rich tourists.
Oof. There are a lot of irredeemable (and irritating) problems there, although as many commenters suggested, you should never drive a car around Europe. Just take the trains, man.It probably feels right now like there’s just nowhere to spend your vacation, and you should just settle for a four-day trip into your HBOGo account. BUT, here’s a bonus response from ham4radio, one kind-hearted person who actually enjoyed their vacations and has some recommendations:
Places that are not overrated:
- Hoover Dam. It is amazing and if you are a programmer it will make you feel all sorts of insecurities about calling yourself an Engineer.
- Pike Place Market in Seattle
- Normandy. Absolutely beautiful, good food, and they seem to fucking love Americans/Brits/Canadians.
- Burlington, Vermont. Especially if you like Contra Dancing
- Beale Street in Memphis, Tennessee
- The party hostels of Budapest.
- Amsterdam, unless you’re going there to smoke weed or see a sex show. Instead, rent a bike and go around the city randomly.
- Franklin’s Barbecue in Austin, TX
- The Jim Crow Museum of Racist Memorabilia in Big Rapids, Michigan
- The improv comedy scene in London
- The Cliffs of Moher in Ireland. Especially if you like wind.
- The Port Authority bus terminal.
Of course, that last one is sort of a joke. You shouldn’t ever visit the Port Authority bus terminal, but they’re technically correct in saying it isn’t overrated. There isn’t a person on earth who has ever said anything nice about it.
