People Share Secrets They’ve Learned About Their Neighbors Through the Walls

It’s no secret that there are amazing things about living in apartments – you don’t have to mow your lawn, and if something breaks, someone else will fix it, to name a few – but there’s also no argument that the walls could be a lot thicker.

You hear things. You learn things about your neighbors that you really shouldn’t be privy to, and these 16 people have some pretty good stories to tell.

That’s something, I guess.

16. You learn a lot about people.

I moved in my new apartment last year and had a month of silence before all hell broke loose.

Over the course of a few months I learned their schedule, names, and even small nuances that gave me a hunch that this person’s child may be autistic.

Just based on sound. Turns out, the child is so whenever I hear screaming or stomping I try to sympathize. Shit still sucks though.

15. I mean, why not?

It turns out that they don’t spend any time in their apartment and instead HAVE HOUR LONG CONVERSATIONS OUTSIDE MY FUCKING DOOR IN THE HALLWAY.

14. What a relief.

I used to hear my neighbors fucking.

Then two 22 year old guys moved in, who are pretty cool. As far as I know, one goes out with his girlfriend a lot, the other plays hours of Rocket League.

I like the second guy better.

13. Those are some nice police.

My next-door neighbor used to constantly break up with her boyfriend and have loud sobbing phone calls with her friends late at night.

One time a friend even called the police because he was worried she would kill herself. I saw the police walking down the hall as I was coming home and they thought I was her at first.

Then they went into her apartment and spoke for 30 minutes about love, pills and the importance of staying resilient in the face of breakups. The officer was a great guy, but I heard way too much.

12. It’s not a secret anymore.

I don’t know if this is a secret, but I heard the dude trying to kill his GF.

Called the police.

Dude left in handcuffs.

11. That’s terrifying.

I’ve learned that my neighbor probably abuses his wife…

Which of the 3am hallway arguments brought me to that conclusion? Was it the one where she locked him out and he tried to break down the door? Or the one where four separate neighbors called the cops because they were screaming at each other for almost an hour?

No, the one that really fixed my impression of him is when he chased her down the stairs carrying a fucking metal pipe and he swung so hard at her that he broke off a chunk of the concrete. I kept the broken shards as a souvenir for the cops.

10. You’ve got to roll with the punches.

A few stories come to mind; older couples in their 70’s lived on 2nd floor, they would cook me food, I would shovel their cars out in the winter, here’s the fun part…they had the loudest sex several times a week. God bless their vigor.

Made a new friend in one apartment by having the smell of dank weed seep into my apartment walls in a duplex.

Currently living next to a Rockstar who unknowingly serenades me every so often when he’s preparing for a gig. All in all I’ve had a good run.

9. There’s always the odd one out.

Just got my first solo apartment and i’m loving it! Most of the people are my age and really cool….but there is this needle thin probably 50-60 older woman that walks the halls day and night.

Every single day. She waits for people to come out of their apartment and then sparks up very strange conversations. Looked out my window the other night at about 1 am and shes wandering around the parking lot picking up cigarette butts and smoking them.

I am always nice and patient with her and as she may have early signs of dementia like people keep telling me I really think that she had just made some very poor life decisions when she was younger. I don’t know a lot about dementia or Alzheimer’s but i do not necessarily think that’s the full case. She could just be a very odd individual.

8. Grab the popcorn.

There was two women that lived above me. College aged, same as me and my roommate. You could hear everything through the floor. Everything.

The woman above me had lots of s^x. And that’s fine, but it was always loud and it was always at 4 am or 5 am or some shit. I had to work early a lot of days so it was really f*cking irritating.

So one night, I stand on my bed and hit the ceiling with my shoe and ask them to quiet down. The noise stops but the talking starts.

Guy: “Did you hear that? I think someone was talking to us.”

Girl: “Nah. The dude downstairs is probably watching TV.”

Me: I am talking to you. The people on the third floor. F*cking loudly. Please be quiet. I gotta work in a couple hours.

Guy#2: “He’s definitely talking to us.”

Girl: “No he isn’t!”

Me: Wait? Two guys?!

Guy #3: “No. There’s three of us.”

7. It could be worse.

My upstairs neighbor is a fast learner! About a year ago he started practicing basic scales on his sax. Now he’s jamming out up there and I’m really into it.

6. That’s a nice compliment.

My neighbor has been learning to play guitar for almost a year now, he’s gotten a lot better!

5. Finger’s crossed.

He’s horrifyingly inappropriate & violent when playing games online.

I hope that’s what he’s doing.

4. Free entertainment, I guess.

I’m in a dorm. I know EVERYTHING about the love life of my three neighbors – mostly because they tend to shriek about it at 2 am. Also I know that I can take them down with glitter, as the one time someone put balloons and glitter on their door it started a screaming match between the girls that lasted all day. I have plans.

Current quote from them- “Oh my god he looks so FRICKIN weird! Oh my GOOOOOOD!!!!” It is currently 10:23 pm in the middle of finals week. I hate everything.

3. Trapped in the middle.

A young couple moved next door with a toddler and a new puppy. Aside from the occasion crying from kid or puppy i mostly just hear the kid running around and giggling really loud and the sound of a ball bouncing off the wall and the puppy chasing after it.

On the other side of my apartment the family loves euro dance music.

2. Wait, what?

Lived in a four apartment strip back in the 90’s. Quiet, peaceful, perfect.

One Saturday afternoon, I’m sitting on the couch watching tv and hear a gunshot. Second later, another. I run next door and pound on the door, can’t get in.

So I call 911, tell them this and cops show up pretty quick.

Turns out the elderly couple next door did a murder-suicide pact.

1. That’s juicy gossip.

My neighbor’s teenage daughter sent some nudes via Facebook and got caught by her mom. That girl got yelled at like I’ve never heard.

And I heard it all because I turned off everything in my place that made noise and stood with my ear against the wall basically the entire time.

I don’t even know what I would have done in some of these situations.

What’s your best apartment-living story? Tell us about it in the comments!