People are strange…and they’re also pretty dumb, if we’re being honest.
That’s why when you venture out into public and you keep your ears open, you’re bound to hear some totally ridiculous and STUPID things…
I know you’re picking up what I’m putting down.
Let’s hear some funny stories from AskReddit users about dumb things they actually heard people say out loud.
1. In the ER.
“I am an ER nurse, so I ask a lot about medical history and current meds.
Me: What medical problems do you have?
Patient: None.
Me: Do you take any prescription or over the counter meds on a daily basis?
Patient: Yes, my blood pressure pill and lasix.
Me: …So you have high blood pressure and heart failure?
Patient: No I don’t.
Me: So what are the medications for?
Patient: My blood pressure and heart failure, duh.”
2. No faith in the family.
“During a power cut, I lost faith in my entire family:
My 8 year old: Dad, can I watch TV?
Me: The power’s out.
My wife: But you could use the laptop to watch Netflix until the battery goes.
Me: Darling, the power’s out.
Wife: That’s why he has to use the laptop.
Me: But we have no internet while the power is out.
Wife: Internet comes over cable, not the power lines.
Me: The modem that brings us internet is plugged into the wall outlet… The powerless wall outlet. Because there’s no power. Because the power’s out. We have no internet.
Wife: Well, try plugging it into a different wall outlet.
That’s when I just went upstairs.”
3. Shake it up.
“I have posted this before but:
I went to college in a small town and every Thursday they would have a mobile DMV. When I had to get my license renewed they were having trouble with the internet. T
he woman in charge instructed the other woman working there to “shake out all the wires because sometimes the information gets clogged up in them.””
4. But I’m a senior.
“My friend who was a senior in high school thought senior discounts would apply to him.
It led to an incredibly awkward back and forth between a Taco Bell worker.”
5. American?
“Shortly after 9/11 my wife and I were in the UK. On the way home, the customs officer at the airport was dead serious.
Officer: are you a US citizen?
Wife: Yes.
Officer: it says here you were born in New Mexico. So when did you become a US Citizen?
Wife: At birth. New Mexico is in the US.
Officer: no it isn’t. It’s in Mexico. That’s why it has Mexico in the name.
Umm…”
6. Very bright.
“A customer at a restaurant, after asking for a vegan menu and staring at it for 10 minutes asking; ‘Why dont you have any chicken dishes on the menu?”
Followed up with ‘What animal is a ham?'”
7. Hold it tight.
“During WWII history class, a girl actually thought the “Front line” was a piece of rope held by the troops.”
8. Makes sense to me!
“I don’t need to get vaccinated, my dad’s a chiropractor.”
I hope he can massage the f*ckin measles out of your bones you nut. S
he also thought that dinosaur bones were “planted there”.”
9. Imagine that…
“Coworker at my old job while we were setting up for Black Friday.
“It’s pretty crazy that Black Friday actually falls on a Friday this year.””
10. Hmmmm…
“I was in line at a KFC when the guy in front of me asked “How many pieces of chicken are in a 15 piece bucket…””
11. Smart kids!
“Teenager 1: “We have an exchange student in our class from Brazil!”
Teenager 2: “Where’s Brazil?”
Teenager 1: “I don’t know, I think it’s a small country in Africa somewhere. She speaks Portuguese.”
Teenager 2: “Why?”
Teenager 1: “I don’t know, I think they just like it.””
12. G’day, mate!
“Went on a date and was trying get to know this girl. Me: what kind of food is your favorite? Girl: uhm.. I really like Australian food.
Me: haha yeah like throw another shrimp on the barby haha.. Girl: no like real Australian food like they have at the Outback.
Girl genuinely thought the restaurant the Outback Steakhouse was Australian food.”
13. The other white meat.
“”Pigs dont have blood.”
My coworker trying to explain his belief that pigs dont have a heart, blood, or veins which is why they’re “white meat”.”
14. Bruh…
“When I worked in Congress, I frequently gave tours of the Capitol. As I was wrapping up the tour, one of the constituents asked me to explain the the difference between the Capitol and the White House
. Ok sure, not everyone is knowledgable about American government. I gave them a quick explanation and figured it would be sufficient.
Nope, I was clearly mistaken. I then proceeded to listen to this person loudly proclaim that *I* was incorrect and that “the White House is the same the thing as the Capitol.”……………..bruh.”
15. Well…
“Told an American couple I’m from South Africa.
“Oh, what part of England is that?””
What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever overheard out in public?
Talk to us in the comments!
Please and thank you!
