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People Share the Stupidest Questions They’ve Ever Heard

It’s pretty amazing how dumb people can be sometimes, don’t you think?

Whether it’s at work, school, or out in public, we hear a lot of stupid questions. Maybe they’re even coming from your own family members…

Let’s hear from AskReddit users who revealed the dumbest questions they’ve ever heard.

1. We could give it a shot.

“Had a customer ask if she could pay her bill over the phone.

I asked what kind of credit card…. cash. She wanted to pay cash over the phone.”

2. How did you know?

“Me: Talking English

Random Guy: Wait do you speak English

My thoughts : WOW what gave it away?”

3. Fun times.

“I worked for a higher end retail store and quickly became the stand-in brand representative for Levi’s—in that I was the only one outside of the actual representative who had all of our Levi’s styles for our department memorized.

Our Levi’s area is clearly marked with a dozen-odd signs proclaiming Levi’s, as well as a sign over each display noting the cut.

As I was putting away jeans accumulated from returns and the fitting room, I had a woman come over to me and asked, “Do you sell Levi’s?”

The worst wasn’t even the question; after I had replied in the affirmative and indicated we were literally standing in the Levi’s area, she continued to hound me with “Do you sell Levi’s?” until she finally revealed she’d expected me to lead her over to the exact style in her head. She somehow didn’t know that Levi’s was a brand, not a style of jeans.

She also didn’t know what cut or size she was looking for, either.

Fun times.”

4. Hmmm…

“Working at a restaurant on Maui, a group of younger girls were having dinner, and one of them stopped me to ask, “how do you guys get from island to island? Is there a bridge or something?”

She was at least 25.”

5. This is brilliant.

“I was at a McDonalds once and I asked for a drink and by mistake i said “does the drink come with a cup” the workers face just said this is the dumbest person i have ever met.

When they called my order i made my cousin go get the food because i was to embarrassed.”

6. These are something else.

“What was Spider-Man bit by?

What country is Captain America from?

How many heroes are in the fantastic four?

How much chicken comes in a three piece?”

7. Keep it up!

“I witnessed the dumbest comment, does that count?

On the subway, some Irish tourists were chatting with a native Bostonian with a very thick Boston accent, like from Southie or Old Cambridge. As the tourists are about to leave, he shouts, “Your English is really, very good! Keep practicing.””

8. Clearly a genius.

“Why is Alaska so cold if it’s so close to Hawaii?”

She was looking at a map that had Alaska and Hawaii placed in boxes below the rest of the U.S.”

9. How does this work?

“I used to work with this girl who asked me if black people went bald.

We worked at a place where the average customer was above 50 years old.

Yes black people came in there, yes some of the black people who came in there were bald.”

10. Might want to look at a map.

“We are from South Carolina. My best friend from high school was sweet as can be, but I swear we didn’t take the same geography classes.

“Do I need my passport to go to Vegas? When we get there, can I put my feet in the Pacific Ocean?!”

11. About those puppies…

“I’m a veterinarian.

I once had the owner of a pregnant 3 legged dog (leg lost to car injury) ask if the puppies would all have three legs or four. With a straight face, totally seriously, she did not know.”

12. Good question.

“My mother works as a volunteer guide in a national park and she was asked “at what elevation do deer turn into elk?”

Mine is, as a pavement engineer, a citizen called me and asked me why on earth I didn’t bother to have the new pavement match the old pavement in color, because the new patch by her house is so unsightly with the ugly new black next to the older grey.

She also told me she was sure I didn’t spent the money for the “greyer pavement that would have matched” in her neighborhood because the County secretly saved that stuff for the richer neighborhoods and didn’t care about her lowly subdivision.”

13. Meet me halfway.

“Taking my kids on a ferry to see my parents. Buying snacks and magazines for the trip at WalMart on the way. Cashier asks where we’re going etc. Explain I’m going to take me kids on the ferry, parents meeting me on the other side, taking my kids and I take same ferry back. Total round trip on a boat for me, 4 hours.

Cashier said “That’s not really fair! Can’t your parents pick the kids up halfway?”

Me: “Halfway?”

Her: (Totally serious) “Yeah. Don’t they drive?”

14. Not that complicated.

“So, if I left at 3:37, what time would it be in 30 minutes? 4:12?”

Said to me by a 20 year old college student wondering when they had to be back from their break at work. She then said, “I took the 7 and added 5, then subtracted 30, and I can’t seem to get it right, so I just guessed”.”

15. Think before you speak.

“How long does one hour take?”

Granted, I was working in a one hour photo developing place and what they were actually asking was whether or not we were backed up or they could get their photos quickly. But, their actual question was responded to with some incredulously raised eyebrows. They did laugh after they figured out what they’d actually said.”

16. You got it!

“As a receptionist for a retail store.

Customer: What time do you close?

Me: Six

Customer: o’clock?

Me: …”

17. Ummmmm. No.

“I used to work at the zoo. Sometimes I would run this stand where you buy some fruit to feed the elephants. There were peacocks at the zoo that would roam free so they’d end up inside the elephant enclosure a lot.

One day, upon seeing the peacocks inside the elephant enclosure, a customer asks me: “So are they dinner for the elephants?””

18. What are those?

“Why do you wear glasses? Because my eyes aren’t right

Cool so what do the glasses do? They help me to see.

Like what, night vision?”

“I shit you not my 15 yr old cousin asked this. His sister wears glasses for fucks sake.”

19. Can you understand me?

“During my exchange year in the US, I was sitting in my English class and we had a few minutes until class started, when one of the guys I spoke regularily to, suddenly turns and asks me if I could speak English since I’m from Germany.

I calmly asked him in what language we had been speaking just a second ago. It was pretty hilarious and even our teacher had a good laugh with us.”

20. They might…

“”Won’t they hatch?”

Asked by a guy who had just thrown out two dozen eggs that had *just* passed their expiration date. He was concerned about having 24 little chicks running around inside his refrigerator. Dude was a university-level science major.”

21. At least it was a kid.

““Are you a real black person? Your skin is too light.”

Thankfully it was asked by a little kid, but it was so stupid that I still laugh about that years later.”

22. Where am I?

“When I was working at my city’s zoo, a woman asked me if she was at the zoo.

In order to ask me that question, this woman had to get off the train at a station called Zoo Station or drive into the parking lot on a road called Zoo Road.

Then, she had to walk down a long hallway with lots of pictures of animals all with the zoo’s logo (which includes the word zoo) under them, then stand in a long ass line in front a huge picture of a koala and the words “welcome to [city] zoo!” printed in three foot high letters. I was also wearing a shirt and a hat with the zoo’s name and a giraffe on it when she asked me this question.”

23. What’s your background?

“What nationality are you?

Canadian

No, i mean, what nationality?

ummm, do you mean heritage? Polish I guess

No no, listen, na-tional-ity

I don’t know what you’re asking?

Whispers: Nationality, like, are you white, black, etc?

just look at me, I’m white as snow, and that’s not nation…

Cool I didn’t want to assume anything.”

24. Think about that one…

“A coworker of mine, without any context, asked me, “Is Ash Wednesday this Friday?””

25. Open for business.

“Working in a coffee shop, around mid-afternoon. A man walks in, glances around and walks up to the counter.

Me: Hey, what can I get for you?

Him: Um. (Glances around the store more) Are you guys open?

Mostly out of confusion I also glanced around my store I saw all of the other employees clearly working, and our lobby full of people sitting/eating/drinking/etc.

Me: Yes?”

26. Woah, slow down…

“Had numerous customers ask me why I rung up “cheeseburger” instead of “hamburger with cheese.”

No amount of explaining helped.”

27. A good reason to call 9-1-1.

“As a 911 operator, a caller once asked (on an emergency line) what the weather would be like on Thanksgiving Day in a desert resort popular with off-roaders, that’s located about 100 miles away from our city.

It was April.”

28. Hotel guests.

“From the hotel industry, favorites are generally along the theme of:

“Why didn’t you tell me when I booked my reservation (six months ago) that it was going to rain today?!”

“Why is there traffic? Why didn’t you warn me there’d be traffic in Manhattan?! Why can’t you just tell the cops to let me through?!”

But my all time favorite was at a hotel where for various reasons, the lobby was not on the first floor. The only thing on the first floor as you come in was a bank of elevators, by which you could then reach the lobby.

Had a guest ask, in complete seriousness, “Why couldn’t the taxi drop me off at the lobby? All the other hotels it drops me off at the lobby!”

All attempts to answer this were met with increasing rage on the part of the guest, because WHY COULDN’T THE TAXI COME TO THE EIGHTH FLOOR.”

29. Think about that…

“While watching Frozen with a group of friends, my brothers girlfriend, 30 minutes in looks confused and upset and looks me in my eyes and asks “If their parents died, are they still sisters?”. She had been thinking about it for 30 minutes.

I had to console her and let her know that if her parents died, her sister would still be her sister.”

30. That’s a good question.

“How do I test to see if my turtle is gay.”

31. This is great.

“Coming off of an overseas flight carrying a 4 foot tall framed (but wrapped) painting…

The customs officer… “Did you get that out of the country?” ….I assumed he was kidding and answered, No, I take it with me everywhere I go…. and that was it…let me go through…”

32. The answer is NO.

“Can I be pregnant? because I had unprotected sex with another girl?”

33. You are correct!

“I had to fire someone and they looked me straight in the eye and said, “Does that mean I don’t have to come in tomorrow?””

34. I have no idea…

“I was manager for the hockey department at a sporting goods store. We were one of – if not THE biggest supplier of hockey equipment in the area (pre-internet). The hockey department was the biggest part of the store.

I was organizing a display of hockey sticks one day, with a stick in my hand and the entire hockey department right behind me. This woman comes up to me and asks “Where is your hockey department?”

I slowly turned around, looked around for a bit, and said “Ma’am, I have no idea…””

35. Major face palm.

“”Are you Chinese or Japanese?”

“We’re Laotian.”

“You’re from the ocean?”

36. Oh, boy…

“On a map, is the blue part the water or the sky”?

Hahahahaha. Wow…c’mon people…

Okay, now we want to hear from you! What’s the absolute dumbest question you’ve ever been asked in your whole life?

Tell us in the comments!