The idea of a dad joke is constantly both celebrated and maligned, but as a society, we give less attention to the effervescent category of “dad quotes” in general. Sure, some of the following quotes are jokes. But others are just misguided in a charmingly offbeat or just plain wrong type of way. In short, these anecdotes from a recent AskReddit are delightful.
1. El_Ratdog’s dad has some practical advice from personal experience.
“Son, never stick your ass out the window of a car while it’s making a sharp turn. Just trust me on that one.”
2. Both true, both important facts from the parents of Weenies_world_666.
Mom said, “Did you know chicken noodle soup is scientifically proven to shorten the life of a cold?”
Dad responded, “Did you know chicken noodle soup is scientifically proven to shorten the life of chickens?”
3. And invullock’s dad truly has no shame.
In a room full of people,
Mom: Is there a place for me to sit?
Dad: As long as I’ve got a face.
4. Attenhal’s dad sounds a lot like Eric Forman’s.
“When you’re my age, come visit me at my grave, I’ll have “I told you so” written on my tombstone and I won’t be wrong”
5. MommaBumble’s dad might have a secret.
“I don’t have Facebook because a buddy of mine had one and some woman found him and now he suddenly found out he had an illegitimate child and she wants him to pay all this child support and his life is complete shit. It’s not worth the risk.”
6. At least blackthorn_orion got some solid advice.
Points at a guy wearing his pants below his ass: “never wear something you couldn’t run for your life in.”
Literally the only thing approaching useful I ever got from him.
7. On-the-sea should probably run away once they reach the shore.
“It’s only a little croc, now get out and push the boat off the mud.”
8. Come onnnn, dad of Troppicalgothaura. Come on.
“I think spiderman likes other spidermen”
9. Dr_Siouxs has two parents in a loving relationship.
“I love your mom’s buns. She makes good bread too.”
10. And NocturnalPluviophile learned something about their heritage.
“We don’t own pets, we’re Jews.”
Why not?
“We might have to flee a regime again.”
This article was first published by our partners at Someecards
