If you haven’t learned it now, it’s better to LISTEN than to TALK in life.
At least most of the time…
Because you never know what words of wisdom you might miss out on that could potentially impact your life.
What advice did someone give you that changed your life?
Here’s what AskReddit users had to say.
1. Take care of Number One.
“Stop putting everyone else first.
Think about what you need before you try to help anyone else. You have to be selfish and take care of yourself before anyone else otherwise you’ll have nothing left to give others. It’s okay to put yourself first it doesn’t mean you don’t care about anyone else.
My doctor told me that when I broke down to him during a very hard period of my life. I just crumbled in that room the second he said “enough about everyone else, how are you doing?” I was such a people pleaser and ran myself almost into my grave with it. I always believed if i could make everyone around me happy I’d be happy too because then there would be no reason for me to worry I wasn’t making anyone happy or proud.
But it doesn’t work that way. You can’t make everyone else happy you can only do that for yourself and it’s not selfish to put yourself first. It’s how you survive and get better. Then I can help the people I want to help. It was helpful in teaching me it wasn’t my job to fix other people too, they wouldn’t get fixed if they didn’t want to be and I was fighting a losing battle by trying and just bringing myself down with them.
It took a long time, so many hard moments but I’m selfish now and make no apologies for it.”
2. Time for a change.
“”If you’re serious about it, you have to change everything.”
At the time it was just about workouts and eating, but I realized everything affected my goals (work, life, gym, etc).”
3. It’s okay to leave.
“That I didn’t have to stay married to my a**sive spouse, myself and children could be better off.
Was taught that divorce was bad. Didn’t even realize leaving him/divorce was a real option.
My life has completely changed in many ways.”
“”If I think there’s something wrong everyone around me, then there’s something wrong with me.”
Been chanting this every time I feel this way.
Though others may see it as depressing (not to mentioned about my current self-esteem), it helps me to not blame others and more saying to myself “what can I do better”.”
5. The truth.
“It might seem simple, but when my parents were going through divorce a lot of nasty stuff was being said – mostly by the maternal side of my family. Think adults trying to trick a bunch of young kids into hating their dad.
One day, my father took me aside and told me: ‘You will hear things from me, you will hear things from your mom, and from others too. Find your own truth.’
Those words helped me make sense of things in times where I didn’t know what to believe, and I still follow that advice to this day.”
6. No excuses.
“Don’t give me an excuse.
Say you’re sorry, and you’ll do better.
Stayed with me, and actually got me to deal with my s**t, stop putting off things, and to actually give it a shot.”
7. We should all be so lucky.
“Don’t find someone to grow old with…
Find someone to stay forever young with.”
8. You can’t control everything.
“It’s pointless to stress yourself out over things that are completely out of your control.
That led me to just sit back in those situations and it made me learn that 90% of events in life will work out if I just did nothing.
I see life like being in a rowboat in the ocean (the ocean being life). The tide is going to take you wherever it wants despite your best efforts. All you can do is paddle, making small corrections as you go.”
9. Not worth it.
“Never have an argument with an idiot, they will drag you down to their level and beat you through experience.”
10. Keep chipping away.
“Work is not like school. You don’t hand-in an assignment and it’s done.
Instead, you constantly chip away at things over time. In my first job I was upset that my work was never “perfrct”/done like it was at school.
This advice helped me shift my mindset so that I wasn’t so hard on myself.”
11. It’s true.
“Don’t worry about what other people are thinking about you, because everyone is only thinking about themselves.”
12. You can say “no”.
“Consider what saying “yes” will cost you – time, energy, money, etc.
If you really can’t part with what it would cost, then “no” is a statement of fact, and an act of self-respect.”
13. Good stuff.
“You are what you eat.
It showed me that if you want to be a different person you need to do a little bit of everything every day.
My career, body, and overall happiness skyrocketed after I did it.
It is sometimes boring, because it is a grind, but the results are amazing.”
14. Ms. Davis.
“My 5th grade teacher Ms. Davis.
“If you are getting frustrated it’s perfectly ok to walk away for a bit a come back to the problem, it’s better to walk away and come back with a clear head then just getting more frustrated”
This was the first person I met that saw me and got me.”
15. Gotta start somewhere.
“Embarrassment is the cost of entry.
I started training with a baseball team (baseball is barely existent in my country) and the first time I swung the bat I completely smashed the tee and broke it. I was mortified and thought about it for the rest of the week.
I went back the next week and no one mentioned the tee. Everyone was welcoming and now I h**e when there are days I can’t go because of work. Same when I started BJJ and got dominated.
Embarrassment is the cost of entry. Get over that and you’ll have so much fun.”
16. Can’t be liked by everyone.
“”You can be the ripest, juiciest peach there is, and there will still be people who don’t like peaches” – Dita Von Teese
Used to stress about people liking me or not, stemming from different experiences as a kid.
I read this quote and realized that I can be the best I can be, but I’m still not gonna be to everyone’s taste, and that’s alright.”
17. Don’t even worry about it.
“They said that most things people do have nothing to do with you, even if it’s directed at you.
It really did change my life in that I hardly ever take things personal anymore.”
18. A little bit of effort.
“Doing the minimum is better than doing nothing at all.
Example: it’s better to brush your teeth for 40 seconds than not brushing them at all.”
19. Compete with yourself.
“To truly become the best, you must strive to surpass yourself…
Not the competition…”
20. Make ’em talk.
“Be involved, not attached.
Had major problems socializing for most of my life. It’s way better now, thanks to advice like this. It doesn’t mean you have to dominate every conversation, just be more involved.
Ask the talking person questions, repeat what they said in other words to clarify their statements, ask follow-up questions. Let them know you’re actually interested in what they have to say.
Making people talk will get you way farther than talking about yourself.”
21. Confidence is key.
“”Act like you have been there before.”
It’s just another way of saying be confident in yourself, but just saying “be confident,” doesn’t really tell you how to be confident.
Saying “act like you have been there before” is more like instructions.”
22. That’s good.
“”You don’t have to know exactly how to do something. You just need to know that it can be done, and the rest can be figured out.”.
My former boss when I started my IT career.
Changed how I looked at the problems I dealt with at work and at home.”
“Not everything in your brain needs to come out of your mouth.
“”Good memories can be just as toxic as bad memories”
For people in bad friendships/romantic relationships, so many people hold on to the good times in the past, hoping that it’ll be like that again. You remember how good things were at the start, and you convince yourself ‘they’re not that bad, remember that one good time…..”, even though at present, you’re being treated like s**t.
But what’s in the past has already happened. Your current reality is not that anymore. Good memories can really trap you in bad places if you’re not careful.
This advice has definitely been a wake up call to me before.”
25. I like it.
““A quiet life is not a boring life.”
This is a good one.
I don’t need to be doing grandiose things with my life for it to be a good life.”
26. Good for you!
“My therapist told me not to fight my drinking cravings, but rather to ignore them.
Instead of white knuckling it on the couch trying to ride it out, she suggested I find a project and keep myself busy instead.
It worked. Today I’m 41 days sober.”
Okay, now it’s your turn.
In the comments, tell us about the best advice you’ve ever received.
Thanks in advance!