Ahhhhh, sweet, sweet revenge

It feels good when you get it, right?

No, that doesn’t make you a terrible person! Sometimes in life, people just get what’s coming to them, even if it takes a very long time.

Are you ready for some tales of epic revenge?

Let’s check out these stories from folks on AskReddit.

1. Felt good.

“When I was 11 I got a job as a paper runner for a junk paper advertising agency but I never got the chance to hand in the contract that they made me sign (which pretty much said I was getting paid 16 bucks a week for hours and hours of work including retrieving the junk mail, sorting them together, and delivering to hundreds of mail boxes.

Also if I was hit by a car the company wouldn’t take the blame).

I worked for this company for about a month, working my little *ss off delivering papers awesomely letter box by letter box, eagerly waiting my 72 bucks pay at the end of the month.

Until I realized I never got it, so I got my mom to call the company and ask them why they refuse to pay me. They say it’s because I never gave in the contract and said they refuse to pay fir what i have already done once i handed the contract in.

I was 11 and I was still doing hours and hours of work already so I got really pissed off and just stopped delivering the papers. For months. The place where they would leave the papers for me stacked up to about neck high in undelivered junk mail when they finally rang my mom to yell at her saying we’d have to pay a 2000 dollar fine because of the “damage”.

I got the phone off her because I and said “I didn’t sign any contract. I never worked for you.” and hung up. Felt good.”

2. Oh, boy.

“One summer I took an algebra 2 class. During a break me and a class mate played black jack for cash.

One day I was down about $20 bucks, and I paid up. The very next day we played again, but I won my money back and then some. My class mate wouldn’t pay up. I was pissed, so I was plotting revenge.

I would always have a pack of gum on me and that bastard would always ask for a piece. I went to the drug store after class and I purchased a pack of Clorettes and a pack of Feen-a-Mint gum(laxative gum), because the packaging looked the same. I have no idea why that company invented a laxative gum, but I thank the lord some crazy bastard did.

The next morning I walked into class snapping gum. Sure enough he took the bait. He asked me for some gum, and I gave him two pieces. He chewed that gum for about an hour. That *sshole also stole a fruit pie from another kid’s lunch bag right next to him while still chewing on that gum.

He spit out the gum, ripped open the fruit pie, and inhaled it. He leapt up from his seat like frogs in a dynamite pond and ran out of class never to return.”

3. What’s that smell?

“Since kinder-garden there was a kid that bullied me to no end. He would hurass me, call me names, and toy with my weak emotions (I was a small sensitive child) So after 9 years of constant torture, we were put in the same math class in eighth grade.

Needless to say, I wasn’t happy with this. I was bullied on the bus, and in class, ’till one day I decided I’d had enough.

I decided to strategically purchase a second lunch, once every few days (I had to save up my spare quarters). After I bought them, I stored them in my locker, which I didn’t really use.

After two months, those lunches had morphed into the most putrid mush on the planet. I had stored them in plastic baggies as to prevent the smell from escaping my locker, but that sh*t STILL reeked.

At this point it was June, and the end of the year was coming, as was my revenge. My school has a large spiral-like stair case, where there is a balcony over looking the lower stairs. After my last math class of the year, we were released early to go to our buses.

I rushed to my locker and grabbed the garbage bag full of nausea and prepared myself.

Without a word, as I watched my bully go down the stairs, I dropped the bag off the balcony and immediately strutted off like I wasn’t doing anything. I heard a very loud “WHAT THE F*CK” and then ran to the bus via another stair way.

Watching him have to sit on the bus covered in rotten food all the way home (which was 20min away) was the best feeling ever. And I got off scott free too!”

4. Serves him right.

“Nerd revenge:

I had a roommate in college who thought it was the greatest fun in the world to hack into our personal computers, even though none of us made any attempts to protect them from anyone else in the house. He would leave stupid messages on our desktops and change our backgrounds, and it just got annoying after a while.

One day I was bored and fed up and decided to return the favor. This was back when PC ISA cards all needed their IRQs set up by flipping jumpers on the cards.

One of the most common results of an IRQ conflict in a sound card was that the first sound you played after boot would fill only a small buffer (4096 bytes, more or less) and loop it forever until you rebooted, fiddled with the IRQ jumpers, and tried again.

My roommate had gone through this procedure several times that week trying to install a new video card without IRQ conflicts. So in revenge, I ‘hacked’ into his computer, and found his startup sound file. I took the first tiny snippet, looped it in a new file that lasted about 10 minutes, and copied it back to his computer.

When he booted his computer up, it sounded EXACTLY like he had an IRQ conflict on his sound card, and he spent the next 3 days tearing his PC to bits and putting it back together again to find the problem.

He finally fixed it by reinstalling Windows, and never suspected any foul play. Served him right.”

5. Now we’re even.

“The first time I ever got drunk, my neighbor was having a keg party and told me to come over. A bunch of my older brother’s friends were there, and not really knowing anyone else, I was hanging out with them.

I asked the fateful question, “How do you know when you’re drunk?” “When you can’t feel your face anymore.” SLAP!

5 years later, I was at a party with a bunch of the same people. I walked up to the man who slapped me, wound up, and slapped him as hard as I could across his stupid bearded face. The whole room went quiet, and I announced “5 years ago, ______’s party, you slapped me. Now we’re even.”

Slow clap.

Vindication.”

6. Scandalous.

“Found out my then-wife was f*cking a lawyer/politician. She was 32, he was 50. Being a politician, his home phone number is public. I calmly called his wife and told her that her husband was banging my wife.

Needless to say, she took him to the cleaners. Best part was he was steaming mad at me and said “You had no right to call my wife”.

I said “I had every right, you scumbag politicians have public phone numbers”. Apparently he didn’t know that.”

7. You’re alive?

“I convinced my abusive ex-boyfriend that I was dead by telling him that I had bronchitis and pneumonia (true) and then blocking him on Facebook/not responding to his text messages, etc.

It was probably one of the best pranks I have ever played in my life. I saw him 2 years later at a Christmas party. The look on his face was amazing, because it isn’t like he could say anything.”

8. Ouch.

“Before I start, let me say I AM NOT a violent person, this being the only fight I’ve ever been in. For 5 years the bully of my grade passed around a rumour that I had had s*xual relations with my younger brother.

It followed me to 2 separate schools. It was very dark time in my life. Due to this I didn’t have a huge amount of friends, so I spent my spare time learning kendo, aikido, and lifting weights, not so typical 6th grader activities. 2 years later I ran into the guy at a monthly youth group event.

I threw him through a coffee table, kicked his ribs in and pissed on him. I was promptly removed from the youth group and never heard from the guy ever again.”

9. Nice work.

“Girlfriend cheated on me, so I hooked up with her younger, hotter, sl*ttier sister.

Much better s*x.

Then I told the GF.”

10. Held back.

“Junior year of high school. In my Civics class, there was a certain individual (we’ll call him Dave) that was one of those Too-cool-for-school *ss-holes. Now, for years this guy had picked on me, for being the class nerd. Needless to say, I hated his guts.

But back to Civics. He never paid attention in class, thus failing almost every test, not that he cared. Near the end of the year, it was brought to his attention that if he failed the class, he would be held back. He needed to pass the final. So he formulated a genius plan to copy off of my test, making sure he passed. He even had the balls to tell me what he was going to do. Bad move.

As soon as the test starts, I take my time filling in all the wrong answers, while Dave casually pulled the ol’ stretch-and-peek every five minutes. Once he finished his test and turned it in, I set to work erasing all my answers and replacing them with the correct ones.

I scored a 95 on the test, I believe he pulled a 32. Guess who got to repeat junior year?”

11. Power move.

“I caught my husband cheating on me, so in the course of a week, I found a place to live, hired movers, and planned for all of the utilities (gas, water, electricity, cable/internet) to be transferred to the new house, it was convenient that they were all in my name.

I made all the arrangements to occur on Friday, I scheduled for the movers to come after he left for work and they packed up the furniture (I did leave his clothing and absolute personal things) and moved it to my new place. So, he came home from work around six pm to an empty house with no utilities.

I don’t imagine he went to stay at his new girlfriend’s house since she was a college student living with her mom and dad. Also, it just happened to be April First.

Every April Fools Day I giggle just a little for the biggest fool I’ll ever know.”

12. You can wait.

“I used to work at a movie theater and this *sshole came up to the concession stand and was overall being a complete d*ck about everything he said. Just rude to me and snotty to the people he was with.

My theater was really a landing strip pretty much. One long hallway that had all of the theaters lined up, concessions stand in the front and one way in the back as well. I was in the back one.

So he paid for his food and I purposely short changed him and went “Oh, whoops! Forgot some of the change!” He annoyingly said he’d wait while a manager unlocked my drawer.

Little did he know that all of my managers were on break and wouldn’t be back for 15 minutes, along with walking down the crazy long hallway to get the money. The entire time, I chilled in the back room (in the guy’s eyesight of course) and munched on some popcorn.”

How about you?

What’s your best revenge story?

Tell us all the dirt in the comments!