Person Asks if They’re Wrong for Fighting With Family Members About Their Daughter’s Birthday

Ding ding!

It’s family fight night again!

And this story is actually quite sad…and strange.

We’ll let this post do the talking for itself. Take a look…

AITA for telling my brother and his wife they were out of their minds for asking me to not celebrate my daughter’s birthday?

“Me and SIL (my brother’s wife) have a dreadful relationship but we’re cordial as we can be.

We were both pregnant at the time but she went into labor early and the baby was taken to the NICU with serious health issues. I kept checking on my brother daily. he was so worried and couldn’t eat or sleep properly for an entire week.

While his wife literally kept posting pictures of their daughter on facebook and gleefully saying she defeated me and had the first grandchild. She mean to be hurtful but I took no offense because I understood she was trying to stay positive in bad circumstances.

The day my daughter was born my brother called me and my husband crying saying his daughter was gone hours ago. We were devastated for him and SIL. There were many things I couldn’t do because I was afraid my SIL was going to feel hurt.

But throughout the next months I started getting excluded from family events unless I leave my daughter home. My husband thought my family were being unreasonable by making these requests but mom said it’s a phase.

My daughter’s first birthday will be in few days. We decided to celebrate at home. We got calls from family wanting to attend which made my brother and SIL upset because almost everyone apologized for not being able to attend my niece’s death anniversary to attend my daughter’s 1st birthday.

I asked what can we do and my brother and SIL said they wanted me to cancel the party for my daughter since it’s insensitive to celebrate her birthday this particular day while ignoring my niece’s death. My husband and I said no because our daughters 1st birthday is huge event.

My brother got agitated and called us cruel and that we were selfish and insisted I cancel the birthday if I love and care enough about his feelings as a grieving father. He added that my daughter won’t remember anyway so this party was “for me and my husband”.

Mom suggested I move the party next day but I said no!, my daughter was born on x day not y day then I told my brother and his wife they were out of their mind to make such demands.

My dad got in the middle of the argument after my SIL started crying. I tried to end the conversation and my husband went to the car but my brother stopped me at the door. I apologized but said I will still be celebrating daughter’s birthday. he angrily said he didn’t know why I still felt the need to give him a “load of bulls**t excuses” for being selfish and refusing to have some compassion towards his and his wife’s loss.

He said he knew I don’t like his wife and knew that I knew how having the birthday will hurt and mess up her mind and reminded me I was hurting him as well but obviously I don’t care because if I do I’d at least cancel the party for his baby’s sake. he wrapped up by saying he won’t ever speak to me if I go through with my plans.

He gave me the most guilt tripping look I’ve ever seen then left. It was bad and I can’t help feeling guilt. My husband is insisting we have the party and keeps telling me we have nothing to feel guilty about.”

And here’s what Reddit users had to say about this.

This reader said that, while the situation is tragic, this person is not an a**hole.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This person agreed and said that the writer of the post is being guilt-tripped.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Another reader said that this person needs to lay down the law and say that enough is enough.

Photo Credit: Reddit

And this individual seemed outraged that the couple was planning to have an event on the anniversary of their infant’s passing.

Photo Credit: Reddit

What do you think about this story?

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Thanks a lot, friends!