She Won’t Let Her Mother-In-Law See Her Daughter Until She Apologizes. Is She Wrong?

Uh oh…it’s yet another installment of a Reddit “Am I the A**hole?” story about conflict with the in-laws…

But this story has a bit of a twist.

Read on to see what happened and you decide if you think this woman was wrong.

AITA for refusing to let my MIL visit until she apologizes with my daughter?

“My (30F) husband and I (28M) have a 3 y/o daughter with 4C hair, I’m black while my husband and his family are white as paper, our child is obviously mixed but looks more like me.

I recently went back to work so my MIL takes care of our daughter 3 days a week from 10AM to 5PM, she has been complaining for a few weeks how hard is for her to detangle and manage my daughter’s hair, I’ve been teaching her some tips and multiple ways to do it but I told her that at the end of the day there’s no easy way to do it since her hair is difficult and she’s still a child, so she need to be patient.

To note, she doesn’t do her hair everyday, before I leave for work I leave her ready, but sometimes she gives my daughter a bath in the afternoon and says that she doesn’t like it when her hair is undone , I’ve told her that she doesn’t need to do complicated hairstyles and that she can always put her in a bun or two buns and that looks cute on her, but she told me that ”she was gonna take care of it”.

Days passed and yesterday I came home with my daughter having straight hair and found out that my MIL had perm her. Saying that I was mad is not enough, I asked why she did it and she said that it was easier to take care of now but I told her that it wasn’t her place to do it and that she was just 3 so perming shouldn’t be done at her age, my daughter was also crying because her hair looked ”ugly” and that she didn’t look like mommy or daddy anymore (my husband has light curvy hair).

I told my MIL to leave and that my husband and I were going to talk to her very soon. I called my husband and told him to come home ASAP, my baby ran to him crying as soon as she saw him, after I told him what happened and seeing how distress our daughter was he agreed with me.

Neither of us think that my MIL acted out of r**ism but she still did something bad anyway, so we told her that she wasn’t allowed to see our daughter until she apologized, truly apologized, with our daughter.

I’m going to take a few days off to see if we can do something about her hair and to make sure her scalp doesn’t have a reaction to the perm, we also told my MIL that she has to pay for anything that needs to be done to salvage or repair my daughter’s hair because she doesn’t like how it looks.

My MIL is refusing to do any of those things and went to cry to my FIL who are calling us AH because ”she only meant to help us” and accused me of calling her r**ist for ”some hair” which I never did. I told my husband that I’m willing to not make her pay for the treatment, but that without a serious apology she isn’t welcome back in our house or near our baby.”