There are about a million questions that pop into my mind just from the title of this post in Reddit’s Am I the A$$hole thread, but as usual, we have to let OP (original poster) have their entire say before we’re allowed to render judgement.
Will this be a case of “knew it from the start” or are there extraneous details that can make it make sense? Let’s dive in and find out.
This man has a nice house and property, so when his friend Carla – who he also used to casually date in college – asked whether or not she could have her wedding there, of course he said yes.
OP is happily married, just like she is about to be, and Carla, OP, and OPs wife have no issue with the previous romantic attachment.
AITA for not letting my best friend have her wedding on my property after being uninvited?
One of my (29M) best friends “Carla” (31f) is getting married soon. It’s only meant to be a small backyard type of wedding but they’ve been planning it for a few months now and originally it was supposed to be on my property. They wanted it because it’s private, has lots of open space for the reception, a nice view and the house could be used for them to get ready and stuff. Of course I said yes, she and her fiancé “Rick” were very happy. Thing is Carla and I do have a history. We went out on & off in college but decided to stay friends. Then I met my wife, we got married, Carla met Rick and now here they are.
Now my wife knows I went out with Carla back in college and she didn’t care. Carla still went to our wedding and everything. I never knew if Rick was told or not, it’s not my relationship therefore not my business to say anything so I never did. Rick found out recently and not in the best way. Not sure how but from what I heard from friends is that one mutual friend told him (no idea why) we used to date. Not only that but apparently Carla said a couple years ago she was still in love with me when she was already dating Rick. Don’t have actual confirmation if that’s exactly what he was told. All Carla’s told me is that Rick was told about our past and he’s angry at her for never saying anything.
It became quite a drama and didnt hear from her for over a month until now. She told me they’re going to couples counseling and that the wedding is still on. But Rick requested that I not attend. It sucks but I totally get why he wouldn’t be comfortable. Then I asked the obvious question, where are they going to hold the wedding then? To my surprise she said they still want it at our place.
Rick said so to and in my mind I’m going “he doesn’t want the guy who dated his fiancée years ago at the wedding, but still wants the wedding at his house.” My wife and I are expected to just…not be at our home that weekend, And I told Carla no. They’re going to have to find some place else since we’re not going to simply leave our home to them for the weekend. Not only for safety reasons but it just doesn’t make sense. Rick doesn’t want me around because he’s not comfortable but is comfortable enough to have their wedding at my house? They really want their wedding here though and because of that I’ve been bugged by not only her but also Rick and some friends who think I’m being a petty a**hole for not letting them have the wedding here anymore. Honestly don’t think that I am, it just doesn’t make sense at all to have to leave our own place for a wedding we’re no longer welcome to and leaving our home totally vulnerable.
Still, being accused of sabotaging their wedding and Rick believes it’s the least I can do after everything.
What does Reddit think? Let’s find out!
I think it’s possible that this top comment nailed it.
Most people agree that OP just needs to back away slowly from having anything to do with these people.
Hiding things is really never the way to go if you want a healthy marriage.
I feel like most people would realize this from the start. Maybe something else is going on here?
The bottom line, is…
I have to agree with the level-headed commenters here saying that yes, the fiancee has reason to be angry and uncomfortable, but he doesn’t have the right to demand access to the house.
What do you think? Drop your thoughts in the comments!