Should You Expect Your Partner To Care For Your Pet While They’re Home?

There are way too many eyebrow-raising posts about bad partner behavior on Reddit to count, but you would think by now crappy partners would realize that mistreating a beloved pet is the quickest way to get shown the exit.

OP here has been with her boyfriend for around three years. They live together and she has a dog that was hers before they met; she says the dog and her boyfriend get along great.

TL;DR – my partner (36m) was on staycation last week for 3 days, but never once let my dog out and said it wasn’t his problem.

So, I accept your judgment.

I have a dog “Spud” I got before we got together, they adore each other and it’s really sweet. Since Spud is my dog, all of his care and bills are my responsibility, I would never, ever ask or expect Tommy to ever care for him in any way, normally.

Tommy literally does NOTHING to care for my dog aside from snuggle, but that’s a two-way street, lol.

That said, since it’s her dog, she’s responsible for all of his care and feeding. She works a regular job but hasn’t been able to hire a dog walker to take her pup out once a day to make him more comfortable because her boyfriend worries they would steal from them.

Anyway, since Spud is normally home alone for about 9 hours each day, I do things to keep him occupied (he normally sleeps but still), like hide treats for him to find before I leave, have a feeder ball out, leave the blinds up so he can people watch the pond and walking trail at our apartment, check in via Blink, leave a YouTube dog channel on, you get it.

Sometimes I also come home during lunch to let him out and snuggle. I wanted to hire a dog-walker, but Tommy said absolutely not since he’s scared we’ll get our stuff stolen.

Recently, her boyfriend was home for three straight days on a “staycation”and never once thought to let her dog out to pee. His reasoning was that the dog is used to going long stretches without pottying and changing that for a few days could create a bad habit.

My (36f) partner, “Tommy” (36m), was home on staycation last week Monday through Wednesday, meaning he had five days off. He was home all day, and maybe left the house once or twice to get himself some food, but that was it.

Since Tommy was home though, I thought he’d be nice enough to take him out in the middle of the day to let him pee. He didn’t on Monday and I brought it up, he said, “No, I won’t, because then he’ll expect it.”

Like wtf? Tommy thinks because Spud can control himself no problem for 12 hours if necessary (happened before we got together when a pet sitter didn’t pull through and didn’t tell me until I had already paid and left for my day trip.

Yes I got a refund and Spud was ok but still, not ideal), he didn’t want to “spoil” him by letting him out during the day. I told him he didn’t need a full walk, but a couple minutes to pee on the lawn would make him feel better. He wouldn’t even have had to step more than 10 feet away from the apartment door.

OP argued this didn’t make sense but he wasn’t budging, and now she’s wondering if she was wrong to expect it of him in the first place.

 I reminded him on weekends he gets walked and let out a lot more and is still fine during the week, but Tommy still insisted he didn’t care and said I was acting like a d!ck about it (no, I didn’t yell or get dramatic).

Spud is my dog after all, but am I wrong for hoping Tommy would help him out and just let him out for 2 minutes to pee?

Reddit is the place to go to find out, so let’s see what they had to say!

This person thinks that if you care about animals at all, no one would have to ask you to do this.

Image Credit: Reddit

More than one commenter even found the whole scenario a bit creepy.

Image Credit: Reddit

If you can’t trust him to be kind to a dog, what can you trust him with?

Image Credit: Reddit

This is probably a much more normal response.

Image Credit: Reddit

This Redditor thinks the whole thing is stranger than it first appears.

Image Credit: Reddit

OP made a few edits that seem to indicate this could be the final straw in their relationship – which is likely the best thing for her (and the dog).

ETA: Tommy and I have been together for almost 3 years, living together for 2, I’ve had Spud since before living with him. Spud came first, and always will, lol.

Thank you for all your comments, honestly, it’s so validating to know I’m not crazy or an arse. I’ve been rethinking my relationship with Tommy over several other issues, but this is likely the final straw. I might rehome Tommy as another user suggested. If I live alone again I can have a dog-walker! Thank you!
ANOTHER ETA: For those of you asking about why I had a few Tinder posts, Tommy and I have been struggling for the past few months and have tried opening the relationship (we’re both aces so it’s not like we’d be bringing home STIs). We ended up reconciling, but at this point, Tinder might have been the better option.

Also also, no we won’t be having any kids ever, because, well… we’re as*xuals, lol.


RIP inbox – I’m sorry I can’t keep up with all the comments, I tried!

Honestly I think our relationship is done at this point. Thank you for everything! We still have time with our lease but maybe we can be amicable until then. If not, idk, maybe I can appeal to the landlord.

I don’t even understand how a person could be home all day with a dog and never ask “do you need to go outside?” Does not compute.

Would this have ended things for you? Why or why not?

Our comments are open!