You would think that marriage proposals would be as unique as the people making and receiving them, but in the past couple of decades it seems to have become some kind of grand gesture, one-up your friends competition to see who can do it up the biggest – and often the most public.
This person thinks they should go back to being private moments between the only two people in the equation who actually matter, if for no other reason than some people are uncomfortable with a big moment like that taking place in front of others.
Private proposals is way better than public proposal
byu/Ahmed8117600 inunpopularopinion
And you know, if you’re the one doing the proposing…what if they say no?
These 14 people are weighing in, so let’s find out if this is actually an unpopular opinion at all.
14. That’s something to consider.
I definitely agree with you, but in the case of OP’s argument (I don’t think they’ve come to this conclusion but it’s something I thought of when reading their title), you could make the case that a large number of people see the relatively few public proposals, and think “oh that’s so sweet I wish something like that happened to me,” which falls into the “I only actually want that in a very specific scenario with a very specific person under specific circumstances” that a lot of other “romantic gestures” fall into.
13. Take it from someone who has been there.
I said I wanted to marry my ex fiancé. He proposed in a semi public location and I was embarrassed and had the gut reaction to say no, but said yes. We ended up breaking up a few months later, but he thought he was doing it right. The whole situation was awkward , I hate attention on me and he did it at a busy mini golf course (we used to go mini golfing on every trip we took). I didn’t want random people seeing or congratulating us, so I said yes really quickly and tried to get it over with as quickly as possible.
Next time I get proposed to, I know I’ll be saying yes but I really hope there aren’t a bunch of random strangers around.
12. I’m going to need to see the data on this.
But if you compare the number of public proposals to private proposals, you will find that this actually is a popular opinion.
11. When you’re all mature and stuff.
15+ years ago I was having a beer in the living room with my now wife:
Me: So when are we getting married?
Her: I don’t know…
Me: We should do it this summer, at [beach I grew up on].
Her: What do you mean? We can’t, just, get married….
Me: Sure we can! C’mon, it’ll just be you and me and we’ll get married and it’ll be awesome.
Her: Oh my God! We’re going to get married!!!!
10. There are many more options.
I’d assume private is the more suitable because you can do a lot of stuff in private. Like set up your whole house or take them somewhere beautiful like a mountain range.
9. Most people do talk about it ahead of time.
Another opinion tagged on to yours. Proposals shouldn’t be a “surprise” if you’re surprised that your SO proposed I ask you…what did you think was going to happen? How has this never come up? I understand if the way they proposed is a romantic surprise but if you’re with a person long enough the future, marriage, family, all that shouldve come up
8. It’s all about the likes.
Yah. And they’re plastered in social media. Even the ones I’ve seen on social media are usually pretty intimate settings with close friends. I think only the most vain people prefer super public proposals.
7. You’ve gotta know your partner.
Its all about expectation. Taking your wife to see a zombie movie really only works if your wife likes zombie movies or wants to be scared. If she doesnt like zombies and being scared, then all you have done is just scared her and she will be upset with you. In the same way a proposal is about expectations.
Often enough, a good proposal is never a suprise. The couple has gotten intimate enough that they talk about kids, marriage and long terms plans. They know that they want to get married, the proposal is just a way for the partner to cement it. In this way a proposal only works when the wife expects it, just like taking her to see a zombie movie.
6. As long as you’re on the same page…
And if they say no then it would just be embarrassing and awkward to you.
I think the trick here is to make sure the person you’re proposing wants to marry you and you’re not just asking them in the hopes you’ll surprise them into wanting to do it.
5. Is anyone ever REALLY surprised?
Agreed my girlfriend and I have been chatting about for a few months, now basically we have an idea where we want to get married and have an engagement ring just need to get it professionally cleaned and sized. I find it mind blowing how people don’t know about their SO’s proposal thoughts.
4. A good rule to live by.
Yeah, the actual proposal can be a surprise, but the answer shouldn’t be.
3. He just couldn’t wait. I love it.
Not sure that this is unpopular. But that being said- my fiancé (he proposed LAST NIGHT- still in shock), had a plan for a small proposal with my family.
But he ended up coming to my office after my work day and said he couldn’t wait anymore. It was so perfectly intimate and I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
2. This feels very gross.
A lot of the times this is done by manipulative people who feel like the publicity will make sure the partner says yes.
1. Those shouldn’t be done with an audience, either.
Oh…marriage proposal. For the first line or so, I thought you meant proposals to investors or to the planning commission or something.
I have to agree with OP, personally, but if you’re sure your partner loves to do it up big, then go for making a splash.
No skin off my nose.
