When you’re single, you always have an idealized version of what you want your next relationship to be like. Hey, maybe it does work out once in a while, but it’s called idealism for a reason.
AskReddit users who happen to be single share their ideal relationships.
1. Here’s what I need
“Someone who respects me for who I am, but isn’t afraid to let me know when I am in the wrong. Ideally they wouldn’t want kids, would be fine with pets of all sorts, and put effort into understanding my hobbies at the least. If they share my interest in the sciences, even better. Would be willing to sit still long enough for me to draw them occasionally, especially with charcoal, or even just drawing them candidly and not getting weird about it.”
2. Gimme some space
“Someone who respects my need for space and enjoys having their own, someone with similar interests.”
3. Within reach
“This won’t be popular, but here goes.
Someone I can message or text every once in a while, maybe once or twice a day, who feels good about getting them. Maybe send a selfie or a meal I cook once in a while, idea sounding board.
Couple weekends a month, we get together for a couple dates, sex, stuff like that. Cuddling with some netflix, maybe some dancing, if its summer go do some hiking and rock climbing or outdoorsy stuff.
Cook some good food together, do some crocheting, whatever. Shared hobbies, or maybe mix up your partners hobbies with yours for a couple nights and do stuff together.
No need to live together, just a nice relationship where the two people respect each other, hook up every once in a while and touch bases.
No need to marry. Outdated concept that just ends up with most people falling out of love. Have your own hobbies, your own friends, your own life, just with your beau within reach and able to touch whenever one of you feels like it.”
“Feeling safe, loved, and valued. And also someone to read books with.”
“My last boyfriend was my dream relationship.
He was the best! One time he took me on a surprise date where we drove for almost an hour to a feed and livestock store. I was so confused the whole time until he showed me the baby chicks, they were SO cute and we got to play with them and hold them.
He was so friendly too, he would start a conversation with any random stranger. I’m super shy so I loved how he could open the door for both of us to meet new people.
Sometimes we fought, but whenever he got upset he would let me know that he wasn’t angry at me, he really loved me but he had trouble dealing with this emotions. I loved him for always being open about his feelings and ready to communicate.
Today marks 7 months since he died. My dream relationship is to be with him again, someday.”
6. Be yourself
“Ideally, we meet, fall on love, and get married. Maybe we have a couple kids along the way. Live happily ever after.
But realistically, someone I can be myself around and laugh with.”
7. No answer…
“This question has made me realize that I am going to be single much longer. Not in a “woe is me” type of way, but that I honestly have no answer to this.”
8. Need intimacy
“Right now I just to a snuggle with a sweet affectionate lady. It’s so physically intimate, not even sexual..even though it can be sometimes. I miss that intimate connection. Sex is great but the longer I’m single the more I crave mental and physical (nonsexual) intimacy.
Those times when you are holding someone in your arms, hearing their soft breathing, feeling their heart beating, feeling safe and secure, and for a while just forgetting about the world around you. The only thing that matters is that moment. You and them. The troubles of the world melt away.
I miss that…”
“An honest one. One in which each person feels safe to be themselves, no matter how silly or “weird” that self happens to be. I’ve been with too many people more concerned with how they are perceived than they are in being a real person. They could never turn that need off, and therefore I couldn’t turn off the fake person they demanded I be at all times.
Honestly, I don’t care what most people think of me – I am perfectly content to sit in Starbucks with my laptop and write, or to eat alone in a restaurant, or sing to songs I like when I hear them, etc. Being shamed for that fucking sucked.
So yeah. A person who can be honest with who they are would be so amazing.”
10. Have my back
“Honestly if the person cares about you and wants to be around you often is 95% of what I care about. If would be a big bonus if if had the same hobbies , gym, video games, sports, tv shows etc. But most importantly having each others backs and always making sure everything is ok, also its best when your partner can bring out the best in you and see positive things in yourself that you dont often see.”