#8. Ahead
Freshman year of college, 5 weeks in I had a group project. My group decided to write a script and read it to the class. All 4 of us are up there reading and semi acting out this 10 page script and everyone in class starts kind of giggling. In between lines I make eye contact with this girl I was kinda seeing and she kept laughing towards me. I thought maybe a booger was hanging from my nose, zipper was undone but nope. Ended up that the kid next to me had a boner and did the little tuck in waistband trick. The head of his penis was sticking out and he was wearing a small shirt so anytime he lifted his arms or moved around everyone saw the tip of his penis….. Everyone joked about it when he wouldn’t show up to class.
#9. Twice…
San Francisco airport, a man is running down the escalator and trips at the very end, face planting with so much force that he slides a little. Guy gets up and keeps running, trips and falls on his face again… then gets up and just walks.
#10. “Turtle Sex Noises”
A girl in my design class got up to give her presentation. Her computer is hooked to the projector and it’s on. She opens her email to find the presentation she sent herself and as soon as the email is open someone in class says, “(name), why do you have an email titled Turtle Sex Noises?” Her head whips around to the screen and she shouts “OH MY GOD!” and then she JUMPS in front of the screen as she forgets how projectors work. So “Turtle Sex Noises” is now projected on her boobs and she stammers to quickly tell us that her boyfriend sent her the link, the video is adorable, and so on. She goes on to do the presentation but the class won’t shut up about the turtles so she plays the video and hides her face as this turtle makes adorable squeaky sounds as it makes love to a shoe and the class just loses it.
#11. Wendy
In middle school I had a friend who was a walking disaster. I could write a novel with all the embarrassing things that have happened to her. For the sake of anonymity I’ll only tell one.
She wore a knee length skirt to school one day. One of those that has a little slit on each side. The slits weren’t very long. Maybe a little over an inch on either side. Well throughout the day this girl somehow managed to slowly rip both sides all the way up the entire length of the skirt. She was essentially just wearing a flap of fabric over her front and back by the end of the day. It just so happened to be very windy while we waited for the bus outside. I’ll never forget her face as she stood there clutching both flaps of fabric to her body as best she could.
Luckily she was one who was able to laugh at her own misfortunes. We both got a good laugh at that one.
#12. Faced
I was in the 8th grade, walking and talking with a girl who had a crush on me. She was really going all out trying to impress me, swishing her hips, cracking awful jokes, trying to be smart, when we walked by a building entrance with a raised slab in front of the door. She failed to notice it and, with her hands in her pockets, tripped up and pulled off an amazing face plant.
God, she was so embarrassed her whole face was red. To my credit I didn’t laugh, and helped her up, but inside I was crying with laughter.
#13. Cruel
When I was in elementary school in second grade we had a really cruel and strict teacher. She refused to let the red-haired girl go to the bathroom during morning prayer (private school). She peed her pants in front of the entire class first thing in the morning.
I don’t recall any classmates ever giving her crap about it, but I’m pretty sure no one ever forgot it.
#14. Wrong Answer
We were sitting in a marketing meeting. The guy leading the meeting says “Okay, let’s think about this: what is something we all should have more of, but don’t” or something like that.
My awkward coworker says “….. Sex?…”
No one laughed. It was a pregnant pause.
Meeting went on as if nothing happened.
#15. Best Friend
When I was kindergarten, my class started singing the Alphabet Letters. A boy sitting next to me was pooping himself while singing. He became my best friend. We are now 20 years old and I still remember that day.
