The funny thing about having odd skills, is that you probably think they’re normal after awhile. Like, maybe everyone can twist themself into a pretzel and feel perfectly average watching television or painting their nails with their feet behind their heads, yeah?
At least, I assume that’s what began the tale of the college contortionist named Kat, whose chance encounter with an employee at 7-11 changed the latter’s life forever.
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The night began with Kat throwing out her back, and realizing at the same moment that she really, really needed tampons. And a burrito.
Been there.
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She figured out, in a moment of desperation, that even though she couldn’t stand or walk (normally), it didn’t cause her any pain to move around in a full backbend. Somehow.
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So after midnight, on a summer evening backlit by wildfires and general destruction, she ambles down to 7-11 like something out of a horror film.
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The guy working the counter didn’t seem to think anything was too odd when someone he couldn’t see over the counter entered the store.
That someone really wanted a burrito.
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And that someone kept singing, in a weird, childlike voice, a song from Veggietales.
I imagine this is where he began to get that sinking feeling that something just wasn’t right.
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Still, what do you do? What is the response, other than to freeze and hope it goes away?
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But then Kat pulled this move.
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He was done. Managed to form some English words about the register being broken and she could just go with her things.
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He convinces her to gtfo out of his store without killing him, and probably patted himself on the back afterward for being so chill, too.
I mean, if his manager is mad about the money, he just has to show him the tape.
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He did report a “suspicious individual” and I mean, really, how else could you describe such an encounter?
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If you’re going to be a freakish alien creature in someone’s story, at least be the nice one.
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This story could actually not be more perfect. I wish I had written it.
I definitely do not, though, wish I had been that cashier, because I’m too poor to afford a good therapist.
