The funny thing about having odd skills, is that you probably think they’re normal after awhile. Like, maybe everyone can twist themself into a pretzel and feel perfectly average watching television or painting their nails with their feet behind their heads, yeah?
At least, I assume that’s what began the tale of the college contortionist named Kat, whose chance encounter with an employee at 7-11 changed the latter’s life forever.
The night began with Kat throwing out her back, and realizing at the same moment that she really, really needed tampons. And a burrito.
She figured out, in a moment of desperation, that even though she couldn’t stand or walk (normally), it didn’t cause her any pain to move around in a full backbend. Somehow.
So after midnight, on a summer evening backlit by wildfires and general destruction, she ambles down to 7-11 like something out of a horror film.
The guy working the counter didn’t seem to think anything was too odd when someone he couldn’t see over the counter entered the store.
That someone really wanted a burrito.
And that someone kept singing, in a weird, childlike voice, a song from Veggietales.
I imagine this is where he began to get that sinking feeling that something just wasn’t right.
Still, what do you do? What is the response, other than to freeze and hope it goes away?
But then Kat pulled this move.
He was done. Managed to form some English words about the register being broken and she could just go with her things.
He convinces her to gtfo out of his store without killing him, and probably patted himself on the back afterward for being so chill, too.
I mean, if his manager is mad about the money, he just has to show him the tape.
He did report a “suspicious individual” and I mean, really, how else could you describe such an encounter?
If you’re going to be a freakish alien creature in someone’s story, at least be the nice one.
This story could actually not be more perfect. I wish I had written it.
I definitely do not, though, wish I had been that cashier, because I’m too poor to afford a good therapist.