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Have you ever agreed to try some kind of food only to be totally horrified once you found out what it was you actually swallowed? Maybe something looked good and you popped it in without thinking about it, and then…yuck? Yum? What happened?
Or maybe you just didn’t look closely enough before throwing said weird thing down the ol’ gullet, which is what happened to some of these 13+ people are ready to dish on their own experiences with trying new things…whether they meant to or not.
#15. Up off the floor
“I was drunk, eating a kebab in the kitchen one night, i dropped a bit of meat on the floor, picked it up off the floor and put it in my mouth.. it was a slug.”
#14. Genocide
“I had a box of crackers on the floor under my bed (I used to compulsively hoard food. It was a problem). Grabbed it, spent maybe 5 minutes idly munching while dicking around on reddit. Picked the next cracker up and saw movement out of the corner of my eye, look down, the cracker is totally black with ants. Look into the box, its full of them. Thousands, probably, it must’ve been an entire colony just going to town in that shit.
Genocide was committed that day.”
#13. Instant regret
“I was 5 or 6 in the back of my dad’s car and I thought I saw a red candy on the floor. I picked it up and popped it in my mouth. I had instant regret, it was a large glob of dried ketchup and the inside of it was still moist. It was like a ketchup flavored gusher.”
#12. I live with this secret
“I was over my in laws house one weekend and they had a bag of Hershey kisses out so I grabbed a few and ate them. My boyfriend saw and asked for a couple, I bit into one more to see a maggot wiggling around. It took everything in me to keep my composure and not throw up because my boyfriend would’ve been throwing up all night had I told him. I still live with this secret and I think I always will.”
#11. A wad
“I don’t eat Girl Scout Cookies anymore. A thin mint that had a wad of hair in it.”
#10. With great force
“A co worker tossed me, what at the time, i assumed to be a green gumball. It was a green paintball and I chomped into it with great force.”
#9. No tooth, no money
“I was eating a piece of purple laffy taffy when I was about 8 years old. I felt a hard piece while I was chewing and for some reason I thought they added Nerds to it so I kept chewing. I thought it was weird that I couldn’t break the Nerd by chewing so I just swallowed. Then I moved my tongue around my mouth to get any extra bits of taffy when I felt an empty space in between my teeth. The loose tooth I had for a week or two was gone. That’s when I realized I swallowed my loose tooth and got really sad that I couldn’t get any money from it.”
#8. A cold, hairy coat button
“Once upon a time, as a broke-ass college student (is there really any other kind?) I couldn’t afford medical and was nursing myself through a wicked bout of flu. Had a nice little sick station set up on the futon with some water cups and a box of saltines and a barf bucket/trash can. About 3 days in, woke up in the wee hours and needed some water. Reached over my head, half delirious, and grabbed what I thought was my water cup.
It was, instead, a travel mug of old coffee. Terrible, cheap coffee… so it had been loaded with milk and sugar to make it palatable. Sugar and milk that had molded. What I actually swallowed was a quarter-sized chunk of blue-green mold. It was like swallowing a cold, hairy coat button.
Thankfully I couldn’t taste much through the sinus blockage. Didn’t touch coffee of any kind for a couple of years afterward.”
#7. Revenge
“I’m a fan of eating mint leaves. I picked mint leave from my school garden and popped it in my mouth. In fact there was a huge wasp on it, witch I ate half of and stung me in the mouth.”
#6. Our usual meal
“Not me but happened to my sister.
When we were in the Philippines, we don’t have enough food for the day so what we do is put rice in a cup of coffee, that’s our dinner for most days.
So one day, we’re having our usual meal while watching TV. As soon as she had her first bite, there’s something long and chewy with the rice. She spit it out, found out that the long and chewy in her mouth is , in fact, a lizard. It fell on the cup when she put it beside the tv. Poor lizard.”
#5. Literally
“I once left a carton of orange juice open overnight at Reading Festival.
Took a swig of it the next morning as a hangover cure and thought to myself “Could’ve sworn I bought this with no pulp”
Poured a bit out and turns out it was literally just full of ants.”
#4. The worst luck
“Wow, an AskReddit I can finally contribute to.
As child, we’d hop the fence to the neighbour’s and eat ground apples. I took a bite of a nice looking one and noticed half a worm when I went to take another bite.
A few years later, a neighbour gave us an unfinished box of breakfast cereal their kids didn’t like, but we loved. I was eating it dry, out of the box, when a sibling poured milk onto theirs and weevils floated to the surface.
In high school, I poured a cup of coffee and felt something on my tongue. It was an earwig that had been inside the mug when I poured.
Lastly, in college I worked in a doughnut shop for a summer. I was eating a raspberry filled when I noticed seeds in the filling. Our filling doesn’t have seeds, and seeds don’t squirm.
I may have some of the worst luck when it comes to food.”
#3. Doesn’t it taste good?
“Went to mexico when I was really small to visit my dad’s family, they have a farm and while we were there they slaughtered a pig to have a barbecue and I started crying and went inside and a while later my mom came inside and gave me some tacos into my second one my mom told me “see doesn’t the pig taste good” I started crying again lmao.”
#2. Ew, no
“Thought I was picking up a bit of crisp (potato chip) that had fallen onto my bed when I saw a look of horror on my sister’s face and realised at the exact moment that it touched my tongue that it was, in fact, a piece of dead skin she had just picked off her foot.”
#1. In retrospect
“Many years ago I was sleeping on a friend’s couch with an open can of coke on the floor beside me. Right next to it was a second can of coke that I was using as an ashtray the whole night before; ash all over the top of it, crammed full with old wet butts. Hungover blind I picked up and drank from the wrong can of coke. In retrospect I would have rather eaten a sister scab, rabbit turd, decorative soap sandwich.”
