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There are many, many things one can overhear through walls that are a bit too thin: funny things, inappropriate things, embarrassing things, perhaps even illegal things.
And let me tell you, these 15 Redditors have pretty much heard it all.
15. I’m grateful I forgot that book.
In college, I lived in a crappy apartment nearby the school, that was mostly populated by students.
Halfway to class one day, I realized I forgot a book and had to rush back to my apartment to get it. As I was running up the stairs (which shared a wall with the stairs in the next door apartment, which mirrored my own) I could have sworn I heard someone yelling. I ignored it and ran to my room to grab my book. As I clambered downstairs, again I heard yelling, and I paused to listen. I heard some unintelligible moaning, and eventually heard the words “help me,” weakly groaned from the stairs next door.
I rushed out and tried their door, but it was locked. I totally forgot about my class and ran to the apartment management office, hoping that someone was there. A manager was, thank goodness, and after I explained the situation, she grabbed her master keys and we booked it back to my neighbor’s place. She opened the door and the poor guy was laying in the stairwell (it was one of the ones that goes up halfway to the second floor, then turns 90 degrees for the rest of the way), clearly having fallen. I called 911 while the manager ran over to the guy. Ambulance came and picked him up, and I later learned that he had fallen down the stairs after passing into a brief diabetic coma.
I guess he hadn’t eaten in some time; I don’t know too much about how diabetes works.
Anyhow, to this day, I feel grateful that I forgot that book.
That poor guy could have died, slumped halfway down the stairs with his face in the carpet.
14. I’ve felt it.
I’ve heard and felt the neighbors upstairs having sex.
And apparently they like to rearrange the furniture at least twice a week.
13. Geniuses.
My upstairs neighbors taking turns zapping each other with a stun gun, hitting the floor, groaning in pain, and then laughing like Beavis and Butthead.
12. That’s one ballsy argument.
Heard the couple next door arguing.
The wife was furious because she realized he had been cheating on her after she found out she had chlamydia.
He tried to convince her that she must have been the unfaithful one.
She still lives there. He doesn’t.
11. Going crazy on a piano.
An argument about money while I was doing the dishes.
It ended with a slammed door and one of them on a piano, hitting the keys like a maniac.
Some people read, some people go get something to eat, some people exercise.. this motherfucker relieves stress by going crazy on a piano. lol
10. Always a gamble.
My old neighbor was a cam girl and I could hear absolutely everything she said in every single session for a good 4 months.
Pretty much learned the names of her clients.
I work from home and it was always a gamble whenever I had to meet with someone virtually.
9. We vacuum together.
I can hear when my neighbors vacuum. Our building tends to vacuum together as a result. I hear my upstairs neighbor and go “oh hey i should vacuum haven’t done that in awhile and its already noisy”.
Then my downstairs neighbor and my left hand neighbor start vacuuming.
It’s kinda hilarious. My right hand neighbor doesn’t vacuum with us but does sing opera while doing dishes.
8. I never should have said anything.
I actually manage an apartment complex where my office is surrounded by a one bedroom unit. The building is old and the walls are thin. The tenant that used to live in the unit was a quiet man but would frequently sing beautiful opera music. His voice was amazing and I loved it every time I heard him sing!
Then one time I saw him in the halls and made the mistake of asking if he was the one who sang these beautiful opera songs. His face turned red but he confirmed that it was him. I told him that I always enjoyed it when I heard him sing and that it would always brighten my day.
Never should have said anything because I never heard him sing again.
7. Oh my god.
“William! We do not hit!”
His mom was visiting. He was 30.
6. Three kids later.
“Yeah girl, you know you want this dick”
My college roommate. 3 kids later it’s apparent she did, in fact, want it.
5. Losers.
I once heard a former roommate laughing with his then girlfriend about how they’re fucking me over on money.
Turned out they were taking my utility portion and buying various games and alcohol.
Instead of confronting them, I confirmed what they said with the utilities company (they hadn’t paid the bill is 2 months) and I moved all my stuff out that day while they were at work.
For good measure, I took myself off the lease and told them about the GF that had been there 6 months.
4. Just me and my rabbit.
Years ago I had an upstairs neighbor.
At 2am, every night, I would hear something sprint across the entire apartment.
I realized three things, it was very fast, it took small strides, and it never deviated from its path.
One day, I saw my neighbor outside and I said, “I dont know how you have energy at 2am?”
He responded with, “Dude, I’ve been working the midnight to 8am shift for 15 years. Doesn’t bother me at all”.
That night, I watched him leave his house, drive off, and waited two hours. At exactly 2am, I heard what sounded like two feet hit the floor in his bedroom, and the marathon started.
A few weeks later, I see him outside. I tell him what I hear at night and he says, “That’s strange, no one has my keys, it’s just me and my rabbit up there.”
3. Jeez, Jessica.
I once heard an argument that went a little like this:
“Stop treating me like I’m stupid!”
“You asked if Seahorses were mammals, Jessica!”
“THEY GIVE LIVE BIRTH.”
2. Solid argument.
“Fuck you, man!
If you don’t like spaghetti, then you don’t like me!”
1. We could never figure out what that was all about.
In our old apartment our upstairs neighbor had extremely loud, theatrically enthusiastic sex in the middle of the day.
The puzzle was that he would stop in the middle and we’d hear him walk to where the bathroom is, stay there for a minute or two and then walk back and resume in the bedroom.
It was the same pattern every time.
We could never figure out what that was all about. Any ideas welcomed.
I’m remembering why I’m happy to be in a house!
What do you think? Have you ever heard anything crazy through the walls of your apartment?
Let us know in the comments!
