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If you can’t keep things interesting in your relationship, you might have some very long and dark days ahead.
That’s why it serves couples to be as weird as they can be with each other!
These folks shared their stories about the weirdest things they’ve done together on AskReddit.
1. That’s adorable
“One time we went on vacation in a coastal town and got absolutely sh!tfaced together. Our hotel was in a walking distance so we went back after our shenanigans. We both hopped in the shower together and I sat on the floor because I wasn’t feeling well.
I jokingly said that she should help me throw up so I could get it over with, and without missing a beat she shoved her finger down my throat and I threw up all over both of us.
Best place to be at that moment was the shower so it all worked out.
We are getting married. I can’t wait!”
2. Hmmmmm
“We’ve been married for 4 years, every night after we are done cuddling and turn opposite ways to sleep we press our butts together and make kissing noises. Like our butts are kissing each other goodnight.”
3. There you go
“My husband and I have a ritual where every night after he gets out of the shower he approaches me naked and allows me to cup his balls for 10-30 seconds. It’s completely non-sexual and I cant even remember when we started it.. but it’s a nightly occurrence now and I get upset if he doesn’t let me :)”
4. I help
“My boyfriend let me aim for him while peeing once. I asked if I could help as a joke while I was in the bathroom for something else and he’s like ‘uhhh..?’ it wasn’t a no and I’m the type to play chicken in the ‘how weird will you let me get’ sense. So I took hold while quietly repeating ‘I help? Ok, I help’ periodically.
It’s a lot harder to aim than it looks.”
5. Good times
“We got super high one night and downloaded the PDF of the Cheesecake Factory menu and then continued to laugh for hours at how many pages and options there were.
HOURS.”
6. Love bites
“I had to the urge to lightly bite her knee. Found out it’s a very weirdly placed erogenous zone for her and she feels weird now. I do it from time to time and it’s only gotten more sensitive, so now it tickles her, but only if I lightly bite it.”
7. More peeing
“My ex and I had a weird little competition that endured 6 long years.
Whenever we showered together, we’d try to sneakily start peeing on the other one without them noticing. Bonus points for finishing completely, or getting them while they’re facing you.
I could only really get him while he was shampooing – but his parts gave him an unfair advantage.. so he def won.”
8. Boop
“We compete for First Boop of the Day (but neither bed boops nor car boops count because bed boops are too easy and car boops are dangerous), and we compete annually for First Boop of the Year (FBotY) (Edit: a boop is when you poke a nose softly with your index finger)
FBotY is very important & prestigious — if you lose First Boop, you have to wait til next year for a chance — no best 2 out of 3 or any of that nonsense. I have won FBotY 4 out of 6 years that we have been playing. The first year we did FBotY, we practically fought for the boop and almost tripped over ourselves/poked our eyes out in the process, plus it made the new year’s kiss very tense because we each wanted to win first boop immediately after the kiss.
So now we have enacted a rule that FBotY can’t actually be on Jan 1st or any day in the beginning of January that we are officially celebrating New Year’s because it makes New Year’s ultra competitive immediately.”
9. Hideous but wonderful
“We dressed up in sh*tty ’70s sweaters and took photos in front of the Christmas tree holding our cats like babies and looking slightly to the left. It was…hideous. So we sent them as our Christmas cards. Now we have a tradition of doing really sh!tty photos.”
10. Well, that’s nice of you
“My wife and I went shopping for a new perfume. My wife can’t smell. Or at least every smell and taste is muffled. I try to communicate smells to her in a way that she can understand – like colors. We forget how weird that must sound to other people. So I was tasked with deciding which perfume she should buy.
At the store the perfume lady took a tester, sprayed perfume on it, handed it to my wife who directly handed it over to me. I sniffed on it and declared: “No, that’s not you. That’s too pink.” The perfume store lady seemed a little bewildered, but went on to the next bottle.
The next one was too fruity – or “orange or red” – and we finally settled for a “bright green and blue” smell (fresh, herbal fragrance).
Meanwhile the perfume store lady was totally confused and asked in all politeness if we were screwing with her. So we told her how I always describe smells with colors to my wife so she can have a sense of it.”
11. I can’t see you
“We pretend like we think the other can’t see us in public places to embarrass each other. Like he’ll be at the water fountain at the mall and he’ll start waving his arms wildly and get more and more frantic to get my attention even though he knows I see him. We’re a little weird.”
12. Whatever floats your boat
“We waxed each others butts with a home waxing kit. We just wanted to know what waxing was like so we bought a kit at Walgreens and really went crazy with it. As weird as it sounds, it was actually kind of a sweet moment between us. We hadn’t even been together a full year yet and I had never been so intimate and vulnerable with another person before.
But he didn’t make fun of me or make me feel gross, he just did it. Then I repaid the favor and we both enjoyed our smooth butts together. I remember feeling so comfortable with him after that, like I could trust him with anything.
Edit: I’m talking the exterior and chasm of the butt. Also, we’re still together. 🙂 And thanks for the upvotes!!
2nd Edit: Use olive oil, baby oil, or mineral oil to get excess wax off.”
13. The dogs are talking
“We narrate our dogs in different accents. He does a French accent for our male dog and I do a Spanish accent for our female dog (no idea why those were picked, it just kinda happened).”
14. Spicy!
“My ex and I were long distance for a few months before we got involved. During that time, we ended up getting competitive about who could eat the most spicy food. Mind you, we weren’t together before she left, and only got close while we talked online.
So, when she came home, I invited her over, cooked, etc. At the end of dinner, I pulled out this spicy salsa, and ate a big heaping spoonful. Being the competitive type, she did the same and quickly realized that the stuff wasn’t a joke. After about two spoons each, we were both clutching our stomachs in pain.
I eventually ran out to get some pepto bismol. It really didn’t do anything but make our puke pink when we both decided the best answer was to stick our fingers down our throats and vomit.
Still got laid. A year and a half we were married.”
15. Still going strong
“We were out for a walk and it was drizzling, so there were a bunch of earthworms out on the sidewalks. He says ” if you really love me you’ll eat one of these worms”. Picked one of those bad boys up and down the hatch, he was shocked as hell. 18 years and going.”
