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These New Rolling Machines Are the 2020 Version of the Shake Weight. But Somehow Dirtier.

In the exercise, fitness, and wellness industry, it seems like there’s always the next best new thing coming down the pike.

Usually, the next best thing is also the next expensive thing, and if there’s one thing the Shake Weight taught us (you remember the Shake Weight, right?), it’s that looking stupid never stopped anyone in their pursuit of a fitter body.

Well, it’s a new time, and there’s a new contender in the category of looking weird and supposedly working out – the rolling machine.

It’s a stationary machine that glows and spins and apparently has bumps – like a giant, rotating massager – and women grind their thighs, hips, feet, back, butts, you name it against the bumps in the name of fitness.

Image Credit: YouTube

Somehow.

The video claims the routine “may include weight loss, cellulite reduction, and body detoxification,” but really, it looks like an excuse to put on yoga pants and get a slightly dirty massage.

The workout is being offered by Bodyshape in Los Angeles (of course), and owner Svajune Overstreet claims the rollers and the 45-minute fitness and wellness class, featuring 8 positions, can change lives.

Image Credit: YouTube

What else is she going to say?

Then again, word on the street is that orgasm burns calories, so maybe they’re having fun and losing weight, in which case, they’ve finally hit the real exercise jackpot.

Would you go and take this class?

I have to say that maybe I would check it out alone, but in a room full of other ladies, I don’t know…maybe if we were all friends.

Then again, if we weren’t friends before class, I bet we would be afterward.