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Life is hard: I think we can all agree on that, right?
And, while we all make mistakes, some people really and truly believe that they threw their whole lives away, and that is really sad to think about…but it happens to some folks.
AskReddit users who believe they threw their lives away talk about where they think it went wrong.
1. Wasn’t prepared.
“College.
I was always one of the best students in high school. I got to college and I didn’t know what “study” meant. I just thought you skim though the book, it had always worked for me before. I had to get kicked out, then do a real job.
Eventually I went back and got my degree, but I left a lot on the table. I with I had prepared myself.”
2. Too much time online.
“Internet.
I moved after a kind of trauma in my life and it was my only connection to my former friends and therefore the only normal thing in my life. I began to see that, I think, as a connection to the real world and spent all my time on the computer. All my time.
I never joined any clubs, never really strived to make friends outside of the ones I talked to online, hobbies were limited to the computer and what I could accomplish while distracted.
Dont get me wrong I think the internet is am amazing tool and can be used as such. I do also think its dangerous and addictive. To this day I have trouble focusing, trouble realizing how much time I’ve spent on the computer, and I get caught in loops where I use the computer to relax and get away but get depressed and pessimistic because the news and comment sections are usually quite toxic.
If I could go back I wouldve dont things differently, I think my life would be richer.”
3. Too much alcohol.
“When I started drinking.
The drinking wasn’t really that much of a problem, but it was enough for me to be too hungover to keep up my monthly appointments to get my ADHD meds. I fell behind on meds, became embarrassed to re-schedule appointments, missed the deadline to renew my health insurance.
Then I couldn’t handle school anymore, publicly bombed a few presentations, and stopped going. I only had one semester left but it was a small school and all of the professors know that I just completely gave up. Now I’m too scared to go back and have none of the degree and all of the debt.”
4. The wrong path.
“My parents were addicts. They got divorced and my mom f*cked up a lot so we often didn’t have a lot of food.
I got tired of being hungry and started shoplifting food at the grocery. I didn’t get caught by the staff, but some other criminals noticed me. I ended up forming a sort of crime ring with them. At that time they stored cigars on a aisle in the store. We started stealing them as well as gum and candy and selling them at school. We also started smoking them.
That was how I started down the wrong path. I progressively hung out with worse people and did worse things. I dropped out of high school and spiraled out of control. Its more than 20 years later now. Most of my “friends” are dead in prison or IDK where. I have nothing. I did get clean a few years back and I haven’t committed a crime in a long time, but I have no idea how to move forward in life.
I have no skills, no recent work experience, and no references. I f*cked my life up pretty good.”
5. Depressing.
“It all went wrong in my infancy really.
Had cancer as a baby, the cancer itself and the treatment crippled and disfigured me. Spent my entire childhood ostracized by everyone my age; the only interaction I had with other kids was occasional bullying and nothing else. Pretty much left me socially crippled…
Flopped at high school because I never went (was absent like 60% of the time), the school didn’t report me to a truancy officer or anything, they just marked my absences down as being because of my disability and excused them. I still graduated because I did all my work, albeit poorly, and went to college, where I got good grades…
But since I had spent my entire life up to that point in a depressed haze, I had no idea what I even wanted to do with my life and got a useless degree. I was going to go to law school because I couldn’t think of anything else to do with my useless degree, but since I was still an anti-social recluse.
I couldn’t get any letters of recommendation from anyone and had no extra-curricular activities, thus no chance of getting into any ‘good’ law schools… So I didn’t bother with that.
Wasn’t really anything I could have changed along the way to make my life any better, though, so its not like I have any regrets… Just hope reincarnation is real and things go better the next time around at this point.”
6. Blew my chance.
“I think my chance to shine was blown in my 20s.
I spent most of it fat, I took my living conditions for granted, I was a bit of a little b*tch when working actual jobs (explains why they ended so short) and I didn’t really have a good handle on interacting so well.
It was haywire. Now I’m just stuck spinning in place due to that.”
7. Wow.
“I had a kid when I was 19.
At first I was capable of studying and work and the same time, then I just gave up. I was quite talented in highschool, had no problems in college, hang out with a bunch of friends and really enjoyed life.
Then I dropped college to work full time, started to get isolated, lost friends, opportunities, years. It didn’t helped that my relationship was like any teenager one with all the economic pressures of an adult life: that was hell.
Now I’m 27, I could get back to college, and I’m failing big time. I can’t concentrate, feels like a mental fog. Also the age difference triggers my social anxiety.
I had a friend who was deep into physics. We used to joke that when he would won the Physics Nobel Prize I would won the Literature one.
He went to another city to study.
I stayed and had a son when I was 19.”
8. Stuck in a rut.
“My parents home schooled me for all of high school, and didn’t do a good job at it.
So when it was time to go to college, I just took a few classes, passed them, hated others, so dropped them.
Stopped for a while to work and have been working a series of cr*p restaurant jobs ever since.
Finally started taking criminal justice courses one or two at a time and enjoyed those, so I’m a few classes from my AS now.
Went to the police academy, but haven’t been able to get a job in law enforcement since graduating, and I’m back to working cr*p restaurant jobs and living with my parents.
I’m 32.”
9. Waste of time.
“I got pregnant with a man I had just met when I was in my early 20’s.
Rather than raising my son myself, I married him to try to “right” things despite knowing that he had anger issues and a drinking problem. Almost twenty years later still stuck in the marriage.
What a waste of time. Wasn’t even a good father.”
10. “Tanked my future.”
“Not necessarily my life but I definitely tanked my future by my choices.
I once had a promising military career. I was a senior NCO with a sure shot at making first sergeant within a few years. At the time of this story, I had just re-enlisted. I got a nice bonus and a ranger school slot out of the deal. I was given orders to Ft Camppbell and was to report to 101st airborne after completing ranger school enroute.
I had everything going for me. I had a wife and a beautiful family of 3 sons. I was respected by my unit, my Soldiers and my chain of command. I survived 30 months of combat operations in Iraq and Afghanistan and my career was just about to enter a new chapter in the garrison world.
I was also attending online college for free through military TA and I had big plans on retiring from the military to work for the NSA once I finished my degree in cybersecurity.
This happened right after I got back from Afghanistan. What people didnt know at the time was that my wife and I were struggling to get along. It was like we were drifting apart but we both refused to admit it. So for my entire tour in afghanistan, we were arguing on a nearly constant basis. On top of all this she was pregnant again.
I was hiding all this from my unit at the time out of shame and embarrassment. I dont think they ever knew how stressed out I really was because I kept a very stoic and emotionless demeanor about it. I hide sh*t well like that.
If only I had talked to someone because when I got home from tour and started pouring liquor out onto my problems. Things only escalated from there. I managed to get a PTSD diagnosis and they basically just threw benzodiazepines at the problem.
Before I knew it I became a high functioning alcoholic using ativan to control withdrawal symptoms, but no one had any idea. I became physically dependent and started drinking during the day. Still managing to hide it from my unit. The arguments and chaos between my wife and I kept getting worse but I was in denial and completely blind to how toxic we had actually become for each other.
Months later on the day my 4th son was born I was hungover but still drove my wife to the hospital. We got there safe and she delivered the baby without any complications.
Beautiful baby boy but they were worried about his vitals so he was to be monitored in the NICU for a few days. Later that afternoon I had to take my car back to base for a brief moment to gather a few things for my wife because they were admitting her to the hospital also.
Somehow on the way back to base I managed to rear end a stopped vehicle. The guy lived but he got sent to the hospital for whiplash. The police breathalyzed me when they got onto the scene and I was immediately arrested.
Even after not drinking all day my BAC was still at .10. I didnt even feel like I had been drinking. But still I caused property damage and injured the other driver and blew over the limit. I was completely f**ked and I knew it. Just like that I had a felony DUI on my record and my career was over.
Long story short. I lost all of the opportunities I had before. Lost my reenlistment bonus, I lost my career and the respect of my command team. I was kicked out of the military. I lost my security clearance, my tuition assistance and my GI Bill benefits.
In the aftermath of my discharge, we moved back home to live with family that could help us get through it, and things only got worse from there. I fell deep into depression over the loss of my career but still didnt quit drinking.
The arguments continued to spiral downward and eventually we got our kids taken away by the police and she was convicted of CDV after a very intense argument. This was the final straw for my marriage and we separated after that.
My wife went back to her home state and my kids are staying with my grandparents and I’m paying g her child support until we can close the case that got them taken away. So here I am. Broke, depressed, childless, and going through divorce. I feel completely ashamed and miserable with how things turned out for me and my family.
I have little to no hope that my life, relationships, finances or opportunities will ever recover from this.”
11. Might take a while.
“Alcohol went wrong for me.
I’m a 28 year old female who has lost EVERYTHING due to my alcoholism. I recently lost my job and house. I keep fighting though, and I’m 13 days sober.
I hope to get my life back, but unfortunately it will take a while.”
12. Wish things were different.
“I’m 29 and about to have a 3rd career change. I live alone, so have to save up for mortgage payments while I’m on the lower wage of a new career.
I broke my leg quite badly a few months back which I’ve been off work for. Suddenly I realised there’s no one there for me. I had to move back in with my parents for a few weeks but I’m still sat in this house alone again now until I’m well enough to go back to work.
God I wish things were different.”
Do you think that you’ve thrown your life away?
If so, when did it go wrong?
Talk to us in the comments…
