We’re finally getting to a place in our society where women feel as if whether or not they have children of their own is an actual choice. Motherhood has been the standard, the expectation, for so many generations, though, that some people still have trouble wrapping their heads around the decision to just not do it.
If you’re curious what these childfree people are thinking, here are 10 women and the reasons they’re sure they do not want to have kids.
10. She’s breaking the cycle.
“I know that my parents resent me for being born and essentially ruining their marriage. My mother does love me, but I have always been able to tell that it’s only because she has to.
I can say with complete confidence that I don’t want kids. I wouldn’t have the emotional strength to deal with them, and I know I’d resent them, too. It just wouldn’t be fair to anyone.”
9. The responsible choice.
“I decided not to have children, and I think I would have been a terrible mother. I have no problem believing I would give every ounce of myself to care for a child — I just know I’d burn out. I know I’d neglect my own needs and I’d be unable to function — I also don’t want to make another me.
People ask things like: ‘Don’t you want to make someone with your kind of intelligence?’ I live in this brain, and I would not want to inflict my depression, anxiety, and OCD on my kid, so no. 100% no.”
8. Just keep your questions to yourself.
“My husband and I have the ‘kids’ conversation all the time. We do not want children right now. We’ve been married for seven years and don’t see ourselves having a baby for a long time, if ever.
People ask us all the time when we’ll have children or why we don’t (disrespectful questions, by the way), and often make us feel bad for not wanting them. I know that because I don’t want them right now, I wouldn’t be the best mom for them. I don’t want that for them.”
7. There is no shame.
“I personally don’t want kids. I have too many health issues that take up all of my energy. I also just don’t want kids — period.
I was an only child and unfortunately I wasn’t around kids growing up, and now as a teacher, I know I couldn’t do it. I don’t have that in me, and that’s okay. I don’t feel ashamed for knowing that.”
6. When you’re sure, you’re sure.
“I knew I didn’t want to be a mother since I was 16 years old. I would say out loud ‘I am not having kids’ and I would get the ‘you’ll change your mind’ response.
I guess it’s fair enough when I am that young, but I am 37 now, and I’m still getting the ‘are you absolutely sure?’ question. Yes — I am sure.”
5. Either choice can be selfish.
“Even when I was a young girl playing ‘house,’ etc., having kids was something I never wanted.
A former coworker years ago said I was selfish for not having kids, and while I wanted to tell her to f**k off, I kindly told her that bringing a kid into this world I didn’t want was selfish.”
4. A valid fear.
“My biggest fear about having kids is not liking them. I LOVE other people’s kids, but I am so scared of not liking my own…I just don’t want to risk it.”
3. Some people just don’t.
“It bothers me that women are raised to think having kids is what they’re supposed to do. Once, when asked whether I wanted kids or not, a woman tried to literally convince me I would want children one day. I had to argue with her politely that I wouldn’t.
I have never wanted them — I’m 35 and that isn’t going to change. I wish people would sit down, think, and let themselves decide whether they want kids or not without any outside influences.”
2. Dogs are arguably better than people.
“For some reason, because of COVID, this is the first time in my life no one has argued with me when I’ve told them I don’t want any kids — it’s like I’m finally being heard.
When I was 6 years old I told my older cousin: ‘I don’t know why people have kids, they should just buy more dogs,’ and I still feel the exact same way.”
1. It’s not all romance.
“My ex-fiancé pressured me to have kids when we first started dating at 18 years old, and if I’d given in, I would now be stuck with a 15-year-old.
I’ve never wanted children — I’ve lived through my half-sister’s baby years, and it was nothing but screams and smells.”
Kudos to literally everyone who makes the best decision for them and their lives.
If you’re childfree and intend to stay that way, tell us why you made that decision in the comments!