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Dating is exhausting, and you never know when you’re going to run into a truly bad egg. But if there’s one positive thing that you will get out of every crappy dating experience, it’s a great story.
Redditors shared their worst dates ever, and the top comments are truly a sight to be seen.
1. Ended up in a wheelchair.
“I invited a girl I was seeing to watch me play hockey for the first time. Ended up breaking my femur. Was in a wheel chair for 6 months. She dated me. Always felt like a pity relationship.”
2. She brought her mother.
“First date, she brought her mother to join us for coffee. The mother was deaf and stared at me the entire time. Apparently lip-reading, I think.”
3. A fire and broken bones.
“I went on a blind date where the restaurant caught on fire, and I slammed her foot in the car door breaking two bones. When your blind date ends at the ER you are going home alone.”
4. He threatened my life.
“We went to dinner then he drove me thru an alley and said he could rape and kill me if he wanted and no one would know. Then he peeled out and told me he was joking and took me home.
No second date.”
5. Tried to fool around in Burger King.
“Took me to Burger King, made me pay (I was 16, unemployed) then asked me to come to the loo with him so we could ‘fingerbang and stuff’.”
6. He tried to sneak me in the trunk.
“A guy insisted we go to the drive in movies. Told him he could pick the movie. Cheap bastard picked Paul Blart Mall Cop and told me get in the trunk because he ‘only brought enough money for one ticket.’
I ended up buying both tickets, and he ended up telling everyone I blew him.”
7. Two words: Chili fingers.
“Valentines evening, 18 with first serious girlfriend. Parents out of town so I figure cooking, romantic meal and a film is a good shout. Know she likes asian food so spend hours making a spicy ramen soup, made the stock myself and everything. Dinner goes great, swap little gifts, everything going perfectly. End of meal and there’s no thought of putting a film on, clothes are flying off, push her onto the couch and and start fingering her, heavy breathing, moaning, and then “OHHWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!”, she screams, jumps up and runs to the bathroom where I can hear her crying for an hour or so.
Had forgotten to wash my hands, and from that day on was known as chilli fingers.”
8. He bit me.
“I went on a first date where the dude took my phone and wouldn’t give it back, and then bit me when I tried to take it. Left a bruise for a few weeks.”
9. She left to have phone sex.
“Begin watching movie. She gets a phone call. It’s one of my favorite movies, so I don’t mind waiting for her.
Movie ends, she’s still not back. Turns out she was talking to her recent ex-boyfriend- a friend of my brother’s. When I go to her room to check on her and let her know I was gonna see myself out, find out she was havin’ the phone sex.”
10. It got worse and then it got better.
“First date I called her the wrong name. Second date I lit her hair on fire while trying to be smooth and light her cigarette. Six years later we’re happily married. Don’t count out the bad dates.”
11. Got stood up for the best reason.
“The one where I got stood up. She later called and apologized, she said ‘You were so friggin’ handsome and smart and I was just too intimidated.’
About as good a reason to get stood up as one could ask for, I guess. Still, wasted 30$ on a theater ticket. The play was hilarious.”
12. We missed the sunrise.
“I told my girlfriend it would be a romantic idea to get up uber-early and watch the sunrise together, forgetting that neither of us were morning people. She disliked the idea, but wanted to encourage me to come up with other, better ones, so she agreed.
We half-consciously sat on a snow-covered bench in the dark, each trying to make sure the other stayed awake. After about a half-hour, we realized it was too cloudy. The sun had already risen and we didn’t see a damn thing. We parted ways and went back to bed.”
13. I forgot who she was mid-date.
“I got talked into taking my sister’s godmother’s niece out on a date when I was in high school. We went to see the movie ‘Cast Away’ at the theater on opening weekend. I made the mistake of telling her to go and get us seats while I went and got snacks.
After getting everything, I came to the realization that I had no idea what she was wearing, distinguishing facial features, etc and I was blanking on her name, to boot. I ended up standing by the theater’s entrance with everything in my hands for about 20 minutes in the hope that she would see me and wave me over before giving up and sitting down in the rightmost seat in the front row for the remainder of the movie.
She eventually found me after the movie (I was her ride home) and we laughed a bit about it. Never spoke to one another after that disaster.”
14. I clogged her parents’ toilet.
“I took my girlfriend over to my parent’s house for the first time and I needed to use the bathroom. Well my parents didn’t tell me the toilet had a weak flush and I end up clogging the toilet and it overflows and water/shit goes everywhere. I spent the rest of the evening cleaning up after myself, while everyone made fun of me.”
