An average of 20 people experience intimate partner violence every single minute in the United States. That’s over 10 million victims of abuse every year. Abuse is an epidemic, and unfortunately, it’s often hidden behind closed doors.
Abusive relationships are notoriously difficult (and dangerous) to escape, so naturally, the best solution would be to never enter one in the first place. But with abuse so common, and abusers so sneaky, how can people possibly avoid them all?
One domestic violence counselor has a test to help out. The “No Test,” as he calls it, can help identify potential abusers early in a relationship.
“The No Test is basically to watch out for the way your partner responds the first time you change your mind or say no,” Rob explained on ABC News.
“While expressing disappointment is OK, it’s not the same as annoyed. Annoyed is ‘how dare you,’ a sign of ownership or entitlement.”
Rob points out that this test isn’t new knowledge for most women. Instead, the test helps validate that gut feeling that abusers are so good at manipulating you to ignore. It’s okay to say no to people. It never warrants anger.
An important thing to remember, too, is that people don’t enter relationships with abusers on purpose. Abusers are quite good at charming people, and ending up in a relationship with an abuser is never your fault. Some abusers would pass the No Test with flying colors!
But if a partner fails this test? It’s a bright red flag that they’re a dangerous person, and you should trust your instinct.
As Rob said: “The only person who can stop the abuse is the person who is doing the abusing.”