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An engagement ring is something many women dream about for years before they actually meet a man who slips one on their finger. For that reason (and many others), most are protective of – and very sentimental about – the piece of jewelry.
This OP has a soon-to-be 5yo niece who is very curious and who loves to play dress-up with OP’s clothes and shoes.
OP is typically fine with it, and has helped the girls put on fashion shows and the like in the past.
My fiance’s sister and her husband came over for dinner last night. They have a five-year-old daughter, “Emily.”
Some background:
Emily is a very curious girl and loves to play and explore, and she really loves playing dress up. I have a pretty nice clothing/shoe collection that I showed Emily one of the first times she came over. Since then, I have let Emily borrow many items of my clothing to try on for fun and put on “fashion shows” with.
Then there was an incident in which the little girl ruined a pair of expensive heels and her parents only offered to pay for them after OP’s boyfriend said they should.
I was completely okay with this until this summer when Emily asked to try on a pair of my expensive heels. This was partially my fault in that I said yes, but couldn’t monitor her the entire time because I was busy preparing food for a lunch party I was setting up.
I thought that her parents were watching her since they saw her put them on, but apparently not. I come back to check in on her 20 minutes later and she had cut one of the bows off of the shoes and was in the process of cutting off the other one. I was absolutely horrified and immediately stopped her, which resulted in a huge tantrum.
Her parents rushed in and were asking her what happened and she said she didn’t like the look of the bows and wanted them off so she found scissors (from my office which she wasn’t supposed to go into at all).
I was extremely upset at this and had to excuse myself to calm down. After, my fiance’s sister and husband apologized and seemed really sorry, but never offered to pay for the cost of repair.
My fiance, unbeknownst to me at the time, had then reached out to his sister to ask her to either buy me a new pair or pay for the repair.
After a week, I got a random text from his sister asking me if I’d like them to pay for the cost of repair. I declined because it sounded like she was forced to send the text.
The pair was recently engaged, and the first time her sister- and brother-in-law visited, their daughter asked to try on the ring.
OP said quite politely that she didn’t feel comfortable and gave totally understandable reasons why not, and eventually, the other couple prepared to leave.
Fast forward to last night. It’s their family’s first time seeing us after the engagement (which happened three weeks ago, yay!!). It was Emily’s first time seeing the ring so she kept asking me to show her and I did multiple times.
After dinner, we were all sitting on the couch and Emily asked to see the ring again except this time she asked if she could try it on. I was expecting my fiance’s sister to intervene immediately and tell her that isn’t appropriate, but she said nothing and just laughed.
I was personally uncomfortable with the idea of her trying it on because 1) the ring is very personal to me and very expensive and 2) I was still slightly scarred after the whole shoe incident and was worried about something like that happening again.
I basically said something like “Oh this ring is very dear to me and I would like to keep it on my finger, but I can give you one of my other rings to try on if you’d like!” She said no and asked again.
I repeated myself. She started getting teary and that’s when her mom intervened and said, “Oh c’mon, just let her try it on for a second, she’s not gonna break the damn thing.”
I was getting annoyed at this point so I just said “I’d really prefer not.” Cue awkward silence. Then her husband says, “Well, we should get going.”
Not before the sister made a rude comment – which OP’s fiancee called out – and now everyone is fighting and her fiancee says they’re not welcome back in their home.
But before they went out the door, my fiance’s sister said “Well, now I get why you two don’t want children…it’s probably better off for everyone.”
I was immediately shocked by this absurd statement and my fiance goes “That was f**king uncalled for” and she said “it’s just the truth” and rolled her eyes and they all left.
Now my fiance’s refusing to speak to his sister and has told me that we’re not having her back again and everyone’s just overall upset.
My fiance doesn’t blame me, but I can’t help but think that maybe I should’ve acted differently. Am I the problem here??
OP genuinely wants to know if she’s the problem, because she doesn’t want to be – so let’s hear what Reddit had to tell her!
The top comment supports OP, because they say a 5yo doesn’t need to be trying on anyone’s engagement ring.
Image Credit: Reddit
The second comment goes one further – no one needs to try on someone else’s engagement ring.
Image Credit: Reddit
Everyone is happy that OP seems to have chosen a supporting partner.
Image Credit: Reddit
People say it’s very common to feel as OP does, regardless of previous incidents.
Image Credit: Reddit
There seems to be a consensus on the bottom line here.
Image Credit: Reddit
I think everyone is on her side and they’re right about it.
Would you have given in and let the kid try it on? Tell us why or why not in the comments!
