I’m definitely what some people might call a “spaz”, but having a really simple job where you don’t have to do much and the time creeps by slowly just isn’t for me.
I’ve had jobs like that before, but each day felt like an eternity and it’s just not my thing.
I like to be busy and challenged.
But there are a whole lot of people out there who just want the easiest job possible.
Folks on AskReddit discussed what they think are the best jobs for all the lazy people out there.
1. Make it work.
A lazy person will find out how to do a complex task with the fewest steps possible.”
2. Takin’ it easy.
“A guy on the surveying crew has the job of watching a surveying GPS unit all day.
He gets dropped off with the unit, sets it up and sits there and makes sure it doesn’t get stolen and that the blue light is still on.
That’s all he does every day…”
3. Not difficult.
“If you can get a job doing Chat Customer Service, nothing I’ve gotten paid for is easier than that.
People chat me about their credit cards and I look up the info and chat them back.
It’s really not difficult at all and it’s nice to be able to help people with their bills!”
4. Think about it.
“Corporate America, mid range.
Work hard enough to find a job that you can do well, do it better than the worst people, but not so good where you’re the one asked to do all the bullsh*t projects. If anyone asks, always talk about how busy you are…but never miss a deadline or due date. Be consistent, but consistently lazy.
Bonus is that there a ton of jobs like this. Study up on your interview skills so you can slide into a new one when the opportunity arises because the only way you get a real pay increase is by moving jobs.”
5. Embassy jobs.
“Working for an embassy.
Had to go to the German embassy last year and let me tell you… none of them has ANY risk of running into a burn out.
I was the only one there, had an appointment AND no. 1 on the ticket counter. The embassy opened at 8.30 and it took them till 9 AM to look up from their screens and pressing the button calling my number.”
6. Easy money.
“When I was a teenager (currently in my 40s), fireworks were only legal to sell in my county for the weeks leading up to 4th of July.
So these vendors would come in and set up a bunch of plywood shacks in parking lots to sell their fireworks.
Now, there are several thousands of dollars of product in these shacks, which can be broken into by anyone who plays little league soccer.
For several years, I got paid $250/night –in cash– for 4 weeks straight to sit in my car in the parking lot watching one of these shacks from 10pm until 8am. If I saw anyone looked like they were thinking about breaking in, I was supposed to call 911.
Easiest money of my life.”
7. I knew someone was gonna say this!
“Representative or Senator.
Great pay and benefits, only work a fraction of the year, and you can keep the job even if you’re objectively terrible at it, so long as you have the right letter next to your name for the district/state you represent, because people are idiots who vote like it’s a sports team, without regard to actual policy or results.”
8. I’ll be watching.
“I know a guy who does a “call before you dig” job.
When someone is doing work near his company’s equipment, he drives out and watches them to make sure they stay away from it. Just watches.
He thinks it’s the greatest job ever.”
9. A total breeze.
“I worked at a Costco gas station in college.
I was literally just there to hit an alarm if anything bad happened. But it never did.
So I just sat there in an air conditioned shack for 8 hours a day.”
10. False alarm!
90% of the time you do nothing.
9% of the time you respond to false alarms.
It’s that 1% where real sh*t is going down that makes it a tough job.”
11. Sounds alright.
“Front desk hotel worker at night.
90% of your time you do about nothing and sit on your phone or computer.
5% of your time is spent talking to like the 5 customers you might see a night
5% of your time spent cleaning or doing paperwork.”
12. Sounds boring.
They sit in the tower, watching boats go by and occasionally raising/lowering the drawbridge as needed by means of pushing buttons.”
13. Just chillin’.
“Security guard watching schools at night.
You just sit there, doing nothing. I chose to study, so I got paid while studying all night during my university years.
Amazing to get like $15 per hour for studying…”
14. Time for a snooze.
“Work for NY or PA on a road crew.
They literally do nothing.
I’ve seen them put cones up on the side of a highway so that they could park there and sleep.”
15. A free room, too!
“Storage Facility Manager.
Most of the time it’s doing regular house chores for the first couple hours, then watching or listening to whatever you want until somebody shows up.
As an added benefit a lot of locations will give you a place to live for free, where I am at the people across the street pay $2,500 – $3,000/mo for an apartment of similar size.”
“Lifeguard in a senior community.
My friend had that job in high school. Most of the time you just have old people who come in the pool and stand there and socialize.
Sure sometimes they come in to swim a few laps or they bring their grandkids, but most of the time, my friend just sat there and read books because there was nothing going on.”
17. Sounds great!
“College / University Financial Aid Officer.
These are truly the slowest, laziest, and most inept people there have ever been.”
18. You got it made.
“Mine. I sit around all day waiting to “assist” administrators that aren’t even on campus (Covid-19).
Even when they are on campus, they barely need more than maybe 5-10 minutes of my time, and long term projects can be completed in about an hour (which they think will somehow take me days or even weeks to finish. I don’t correct them.)
The rest of my time is spent either browsing Reddit, Youtube, or learning things and picking up new hobbies. I’ve gotten better at drawing and programming while working here for the past 5 years. But it’s getting to the point where I want to switch gears and find a career that is more hands on and active (sitting is the new smoking, after all.)
So yes, this job is for the laziest of people. Admin Assistant.”
19. No fire…yet…
“Fire watch on a construction site.
Literally a guy sitting around watching for fires, if theres a fire, hes supposed to alert everyone by yelling.”
20. Graveyard shift.
“I worked graveyard at a gas station.
So boring. I had to clean the bathrooms and otherwise I just sat at the register reading a book selling scratch tickets to truck drivers.
The boss didn’t care that I did nothing because the guy I replaced was high AF and his register was always missing money.”
21. Like being retired.
I was a butcher for twenty five years. Now I drive trucks. It is like being retired. I have been driving for ten years now. It just gets easier.
The only hard thing is listening to whining truck drivers. If you are lazy I strongly recommend becoming a truck driver.”
22. Let’s do this.
“Online English tutors.
I wake up work for 5 hrs and then have the rest of the day to myself. I just roll out of bed, throw on a clean shirt and plop myself in front of my laptop.
I just have to read off a PowerPoint and don’t need to make any lesson plans. I’m basically the English Dora the Explorer for Chinese kids.”
23. Time to mow the dirt.
“I want to say council worker contracted for public garden maintenance and parks in lower economic areas.
The guy around my area uses a ride-on mower….. the local park has no grass.
He comes out, poisons everything that grows. Then comes back to mow the dirt.”
No really. It’s a hard grind for a few years and requires a college degree, but if you can work through your classes, here are the following things that will happen to you, almost without exception:
1 – you will be sought out by 20-30 insurance companies, offering you the same basic package based on where you live. In general, the offer includes a salary 3-4 times the local average, a 401(k) contribution plan with a very generous match, an HSA contribution plan, also with a generous match, free life insurance, discounted health insurance, etc.
Additionally, a guaranteed bonus of a certain percentage of your salary every year, guaranteed advancement for the first few years, and incremental “merit” increases for every exam you pass and every year after a performance review, probably around 3% every year and 5%-10% for every exam.
2 – Once you accept the job, you will have all of your exams and study courses paid for by the company. The company will also guarantee you study time during work hours and many offer free or discounted private tutoring for those exams also during work hours. You will be moved around four or five times within the company so you “get your seasoning,” as it were.
3 – You will take exams, for free. If you fail, you will have to take them again, but if you pass, you continue on.
4 – after you finish your exams, usually by about 4 years in, you’re an actuary and your dues to the ASA are all paid for, plus you get to put like 50 letters after your name. The company will give you any job you want at your same level (most of the time, you’re now a “consultant” or some other corporate buzz word. This is to differentiate you from the rest of your peers).
5 – You will train on your selected job and realize that all the math courses you took are pretty much worthless. Why? Well, because, the insurance companies built software to do all of your work for you. All you have to do is review all the numbers of a few reports every month and send it off. You can delay for basically as long as you want, you’ll never get in trouble.
You missed a deadline? Oh, no, that’s no good. I guess you’ll have to get to it as soon as possible, right after you go out to eat with my team for the 4th time this week, all on company dime, since management wants you to meet so and so who does such and such for the company and is really important.
And, since this is a business luncheon, you’re going to be unavailable until at least 3:00, which means you might as well just go home early. Who’s going to stop you? Other actuaries leaving early? Your manager leaving early? Their manager leaving early?
6 – Oh, and by the way, you have a conference in Colorado in January. Well, d*mn, that sucks. Since it’s all the way out there, you might as well take a few days. It’s a two day conference but its not every day you’re out there.
And besides, lodging and food is all paid for by the company card, may as well make it 3 nights to “get the most out of the conference.” And you’ll take a day out of your hilariously large PTO balance of 30 days (accrued at a pace of 21 days a year from the get-go) and go skiing, because that’s what the rest of your team wants to do.
7 – Also, by now you’re making 6-7 times the local average in payroll, have maxed your 401(k) and HSA contributions, and just bought a house 4 times the average size in the US and you really don’t know what you’re going to do with all your money you’ve amassed (it’s a lot. Remember when your parents said $1,000 was a lot? Yeah, $1,000.
Ooh! Buy a car! A nice one. No, not a sports car, that’s stupid. Sports cars go fast, but they’re not really luxurious. You buy a Tesla. The best available. And then maybe buy a BWM or Mercedes or something with what you have left. It’s been about 6-7 years with the same company, it’s starting to get a little monotonous…and that competitor is offering a job above your job, that will effectively double your salary but include less work. Maybe you should apply. You may not have the experience, but you have 8 letters after your name and most of your peers only have 2 or 3.
Yes, it’s a lot of work to start, but you basically have the easiest career path of all time ahead of you with almost unlimited resources and benefits. All you have to do is show-up a few days a week and sit around talking, looking up articles on Wikipedia, watching videos on Youtube, printing out coloring pages and coloring, if that’s your thing, or reading ESPN articles, if that’s your thing, participating in the off and on phone call meeting, and answer a few emails every day. You’ll work maybe 1-2 full days a month, the rest is just the time it takes to get to the next 1-2 working days.
Oh, you think you’ll be fired? You’re an actuary. You don’t “get” fired or laid off. You get “promoted” or “job placed” because if you really don’t have a ton to do and still get all your work done, you must be a genius and we need to get you into a better job so we can leverage that genius!”
What do you think are the best jobs for lazy people?
Let us know in the comments.
Thanks a lot!