I haven’t been insulted in a bit…but maybe it’ll happen today, if I’m lucky!
And this is gonna be fun because a bunch of people were nice enough to share their favorite comebacks when people talk trash to them.
Does that sound like fun, or what?!?!
AskReddit users shared the comebacks they like to use when they’ve been insulted.
Let’s take a look!
“I was getting slammed at work. Got quadrupole sat at my restaurant on a very busy Saturday night.
My fingers are shaking at the POS trying to ring in orders. Another server (the fun outside of work, obnoxious at work type) said, “hey is it weird that you’re a terrible server?”
To which I replied “is it weird that your parents are related?” Without looking away from the screen finished my orders and left the kitchen while all the cooks laughed at him.”
2. Expose them!
“Expose them about something they claim to know/be a part of.
Catch them in a lie or just set them up to make themselves look foolish.
The insults won’t matter as much as the realization that they are lying phony losers.”
3. Could go either way.
“I don’t get insulted often but the odd chance when it happens I say ” God Bless You”.
It either enrages them or they look confused for some reason.”
4. I like this.
“Your birth certificate was a written apology from Trojan…”
Always hits that sweet spot.”
“My favorite is “I don’t get it”.
And then making them explain it in plain words.”
6. Is that it?
“Christ, I’m bored.
You got anything else or was that it?”
“My best line to not only give them a blow to the ego, but also give me a nice opportunity to insult them further by walking away, is saying “You don’t win often, huh?” with a smirk and then I walk away.”
8. Works every time.
Works in every situation.
Repeat as needed.”
9. No reaction.
“Just move on, don’t react.
They are expecting a reaction and if you don’t give them one they move on.
Or what I love to is just stare into their eyes with a deada** look then look away.”
“Insults that linger.
For example my brother likes to give me s**t about my social life not existing and my lack of sporting participation.
But he has really bad acne on his forehead. So any time he takes a shot at me I just tell him to use a sanding block on his face so it doesn’t look like pus-filled Braille.”
11. Feel free to use all of these.
““Your life is more about regret management than goal achievement isn’t it”
“You’re less a person and more a loose collection of personality flaws”
“Every one who has ever loved you was wrong”
“You need to go home and think about everything you are. Then change it.”
“It is impossible to underestimate you.”
“Bob Ross would call you a mistake.”
“Stupid people can believe in anything so you can believe in yourself”
“I don’t respect you enough to be insulted by you”.”
12. Silence is golden.
That’s what I do.
Insults only have validity if the issuer thinks it worked.”
“If they say “f**k you.”
I say “not even if you paid me.””
14. Turn it around.
“I start to insult myself.
It decreases their satisfaction.
Works every time, plus you can also kamikaze.”
Well, the jerk store called and they’re running out of you.”
16. Try again.
“If the insult is funny / good, laugh with them.
If it’s bad, laugh at them, and just go “you know what buddy, we’ll give you another crack at that one if you’d like.””
17. It could work…
“I just say a random woman’s name didn’t love them.
Only twice have I correctly named the person’s mother.”
18. You know it!
“As a teacher, when a middle-school student has called me a motherf**ker, I replied with,”that’s right, SON!””
19. Repeat that, please.
“Ask them to repeat themselves.
Then do it again.
This is the best one because a good insult relies on timing. Having them repeat it makes it sound dumb and mean.”
20. Take that.
Let the uncomfortable sizzle and sink in.
It’s debilitating to the ego.”
“You doing alright, bud?
The condescending use of “bud.”
22. Good idea.
“When somebody is insulting me without any purpose I just say “bad day, huh?”
90% of the people almost immediately calm down and even apologize to me beacuse they seriously had a bad day and they just had too much bad energy without a way to let it go.”
Like I care what this pile of s**t thinks.”
““I’ve been called worse by better men.”
25. You know what…?
“”Hey you know what…if you’re that insecure I promise I won’t judge you for it.”
Tell someone they’re insecure and chances are they’ll get more butthurt than they’re trying to make you with their own insult.”
26. They’ll tire themselves out.
“I just say “and then?”
And i keep saying it after every insult until they run out of insults.”
27. Confuse them.
“I usually call them something that isn’t seen as an insult.
“You’re a jerk!”
“Well you’re a walnut””
“”Your parents must be so disappointed.”
Or “who raised you?””
29. They’ll feel humiliated.
You wanna play catch?”
30. Moving on.
I always just say the word like “ omg did you seriously just call me a motherf**ker?” while laughing.
And pretty soon the kid is laughing and all the kids are laughing and then I will say “ that was not necessary, and was also very unimaginative, you are better than that” and then we just move on.”
What’s your go-to comeback when you get insulted?
Talk to us in the comments and let us know.
Thanks in advance!