We all go through ups and downs in life.
But if you don’t have the tools to pull yourself out of the doldrums, it can be hard to ever get out of that cycle.
So hopefully this article will help some people out today.
What’s some good advice for people struggling with low self-esteem?
Here’s what AskReddit users had to say.
1. Get moving.
“Physical exercise is important.
Not because it makes you look good but because your heart rate will rise, so you blood circulation will rise, delivering oxygen and nice endorphins to your brain.
If you live a sedentary lifestyle then going for a walk can be a great pick-me-up for the brain. Regular low-level exercise like taking walks can build good foundations for good general mental health.”
2. Take care of yourself.
“There will be days when you aren’t getting out of your pjs (that’s a form of self-care too).
But wash your face, give your teeth a good cleaning, and maybe see if you’re inspired to throw on some mascara and deodorant. These small acts remind you that you’re worth taking the few minutes to feel a little more fresh and human than that slug that rolled outa bed two hours ago.
Again, lazy days are self-care…. but you can still make yourself feel a bit more worthy with 3-5 mins basic grooming.”
3. Listen up.
“As someone who struggles with poor self-esteem myself, I want to tell every other person with the same problem.
“You’ve done well, I wish I could be more like You; anyone who says otherwise doesn’t know what they’re talking about.
Because, honestly, It’s hard. It’s Not Easy, It never was. This is why You deserve all the appreciation in the world for being able to go on with your life even when, deep down inside, you feel like you’re a waste of space; when you wake up in the morning feeling like absolute trash, but you STILL KEEP GOING. Hats off, truly.
I’m just a stranger on the Internet, and even I think that You’re a great person I don’t even know you, But I love you anyway. Keep Smiling. Always. You DESERVE to be happy.”
4. Never underestimate yourself.
“There’s a saying in Puerto Rico that goes “para los gusto’s los colores”as in everyone has their own preference so basically they will ALWAYS be someone who will find you attractive NEVER underestimate yourself.”
5. It’s a process.
“It’s okay to not be who you want to be yet. It’s not something that will happen overnight.
In the meantime it’s okay to rest and take care of yourself.
You deserve it.”
6. Take it to heart.
“A quote I wished I learned many years ago is “It’s none of your business what other people think about you.” and I believe that to be true.
Who cares what other people’s opinions of you are.
Unless you are hurting someone or being a jerk on purpose, then let them think what they want!”
“Talk to someone.
Work out, set a goal.
This will help with low self-esteem.”
“I struggle with anxiety and depression. Anxiety tells me that everyone h**es me and depression tells me that they should. My therapist has told me several things that have helped:
Fake it ’till you make it – really does help. It feels like bulls**t at first, but the longer you do it, the more normal it becomes and, at some point, it becomes habit. Pretend to like yourself, and you might actually find out that you do.
It’s okay to have a down day where you just can’t function. Don’t feel guilty about it. Just don’t let me a down week. But if you spend all day curled up in bed one day next week, it’s not the end of the world. It’s recharging! Don’t feel guilty.
You don’t have to enjoy it, but you do have to do it. Some things – like working, dishes, washing clothes, showering at least once a week – HAVE to be done. I’ve always struggled with routine things. I don’t want to do it, I don’t feel like doing so it is so hard to complete it. My therapist told me this phrase just the other day and it blew my mind. I don’t have to enjoy it, get mad about doing it, even want to do it, but I do have to do it. Reframing things in your mind is really helpful!
And, finally, I was told “who cares?” Now, that sounds awful. But truthfully, even people you see every day won’t remember what you wore or say. The only people who do care are those who like/love you. And they understand if your self esteem/anxiety/depression gets in the way once in awhile. If they don’t understand, then they don’t matter!
Personally, I’ve found keeping a journal helps me too. Write down the things that bothered you that day. Then find an equal or greater number of things that you enjoyed or made you smile that day. Eventually you train your brain to help see the good things over the bad.”
9. Good point.
“If people turn to look at you and that makes you anxious about what you’re doing or wearing, it helps to remind yourself that humans just have the habit of looking at whatever moves around them.
So if you walk into a class or a shop or whatever, and people turn to look at you, that’s almost definitely an instinctual thing, and they’re most likely not even thinking about you.
I don’t know if this is a common problem, but this particular anxiety was one I really struggled with during school.”
10. Two things.
“Two things that I actually learned from my self-assured best friend when I finally admitted my self-esteem issues:
“Anybody looking at you and judging you closely enough to care about [whatever it is I’m insecure about physically or even behaviorally] has a serious problem that’s way beyond anything you’re worried about.”
“Would you ever talk to me (my best friend) like that, even if I had/did [whatever I am self-conscious about]? Then why on earth do you think I’d be ok with my best friend talking to herself that way? Be your own best friend too”.”
11. Don’t listen to them.
“The vast majority of institutions and traditions in this world that claim to give you worth are valuing you not by who you are, or by what you can do but by how much they can exploit you for the benefit of others. Do not listen to these people.
The universe is devoid of any worth that we ourselves do not ascribe to it. Just by being a person with eyes to see and a mind to wonder gives each and every life meaning.
Recognize that in yourself and those who are valuing you, not by who you are, but by what you can do for them, lose the power to convince yourself that they are right.”
12. Not a linear process.
“That self love isn’t a linear process.
You’re going to have days where you feel good about yourself, days where you feel meh and days where you can’t even look at yourself in the mirror but this doesn’t erase your progress.
Be gentle with yourself, allow yourself bad days and know that the feelings of low self esteem are temporary and part of the process. Having bad days doesn’t make you a failure, it doesn’t mean that all your efforts are for nothing, it just mean it’s a bad day.
You cannot h**e yourself into a version that you love.”
13. Exercise is key.
“I’ve suffered from depression since the start of the pandemic and there would be days I didn’t leave bed.
I started to go for a 20 minute walk every day and listen to music and it made me feel so much better. I started walking more and more and now I’m doing light exercise and I feel better than I have in months.
Walking isn’t gonna cure anxiety and depression but it can be the foundation for better mental and physical health.”
14. Still gonna have bad days.
“When you start this process, the bad days are still there, but they are much more manageable.
My bad days now are light years better than when I was at my lowest.”
15. Self love.
“I didn’t realize the importance and impact of self love because even when I thought I was doing it I was still resenting myself for the past.
You can’t fully engage in self love without self forgiveness. Understand that you deserve forgiveness, forgive yourself, then love yourself each day.”
16. Stretch it out.
“Doing yoga specifically helped because there’s that element of gratitude for your body.
Just realizing all the things your body and brain allow you to do everyday and feeling positively about that is a big help.”
17. Up to you.
“Self-resentment and self-loathing can be a lifelong experience for a lot of people. If you want to change that though it starts with you.
As hard as it is take some time to look in the mirror today and tell yourself out loud that you deserve love, you deserve kindness, you deserve good days, and that it’s okay to hurt at the same time.”
18. Might take a while.
“You won’t just have good days and bad days. You may have good years and bad years. Maybe even good decades and bad decades.
Being mindful that whatever suck you’re in now may be over tomorrow or may last years but it will end and you will be happy once more helps.”
19. Being lied to.
“The biggest tip I ever got was to remember that “anxiety is a liar”.
With regards to my self-esteem, when that inner critic starts, I tell it off for lying to me.”
20. Good idea.
“I have anxiety too, and whenever I start to imagine the worst possible scenario about an upcoming event, this is REALLY goofy but I tell myself “I think you’re writing a fan fiction”.
Aka, by worrying and picturing the worst scenario, you’re making up a story that’s nothing more than fiction because it hasn’t actually happened. It’s no more real than any fictional movie/tv show you’ve watched recently.”
21. We all have fears.
“I was told. “Everyone has fears.” Be upfront about what your fears are. If you think something will go badly is that what you fear will happen?
If it is understand that that is a fear, and it will help you explore why you might think that. Hence your worst case scenario is filled with assumptions, which you can think about how real those are.
It’s okay to fear the worst case scenario, but it helped me to realize that I was putting that on the level with a lot of other things which were more probable.
But i go into every scenario understanding that I have some fears (anxieties) about how something might go; that’s okay, that’s normal, it wont tell me how to make a decision.”
22. Helps in the long run.
“That “fake it till you make it” feels like bulls**t at first, but actually helps you rewire how you think about yourself in the long run.
Also, talking to yourself as you would if you could talk to your younger self can really help some days.
I know that for me, taking care of myself can be hard, but thinking about it as if it was someone other than myself makes it easier to put in the effort.”
23. Worth the long read.
“It’s natural to doubt yourself and it’s honestly super normal to be bothered by embarrassing s**t that you remember at night while you’re trying to sleep.
Everyone has some form of anxiety. Everyone has some form of negative self awareness. Everyone has s**tty experiences. The big difference is this–how much is it affecting you? You’re not wrong for feeling affected by these things, but when they f**k up your whole week or put you into a downward spiral for months?
That’s something that goes beyond the normal life experience. It’s like arachnophobia. It’s super natural for humans to be weirded out by spiders, but it’s not normal when the fear causes a total nervous breakdown that makes you non-functional for the whole day. It’s about the severity.
Talk to a dr. Talk to a therapist. Medication is made for these kinds of problems. I ignored it into my 30s and now I have an anxiety disorder that requires medicine to prevent random panic attacks that feel more like bee stings or a shock collar than an actual depressive state of mind.
Stress will physically break you in ways that can’t be undone or fixed with “mind over matter.” Cortisol with f**k you up, man. You gotta do something about it.
Drugs don’t make the problems go away. Drugs just remove the chemical impact that those things have. It’s like wearing a helmet in a boxing match. Doesn’t stop the punches from hitting you, but they stop the punches from wrecking your s**t. S**t’s life changing.
Therapy can save your a** too. Therapy is like learning how to bob and weave, to avoid and deflect the punches that life throws at you. S**t seems like common sense, but so does boxing really. Boxing is simple- punch the other guy, don’t get punched by the other guy. So why do boxers need trainers to tell them how to do it?
Because it’s still way more complicated than it seems on the surface. Therapy’s the same way. The everyday mental battle is way more complicated than we give it credit, even when we’re trying to appreciate how complicated it is.
Get a therapist. You need someone in your corner with a towel, an outside perspective and some wise words to get you through the next round.”
What advice do you have for people who are struggling with low self-esteem?
Talk to us in the comments and let us know.
Thanks a lot!