The battle of the s**ex is still going strong, people!
Maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but I think we’re making progress when men and women can both admit what’s more difficult for the other group.
Ladies, what do you think is harder for men?
Here’s what women had to say on AskReddit.
1. Be strong.
“It is not socially acceptable to show certain emotions.
Happy? Ok. Angry? D**n right! Sad? No! Scared? No! Depressed? Man up! You better not cry!
Strong, stoic, closed up. That’s a “real” man. It’s cruel to not allow 50% of the population to feel.”
2. Make your move.
“Being expected to make the first move.
Why can’t we all do everything?
Guys work in a “woman’s world” and vice versa.”
3. You look nice today.
“Giving a compliment and having most women assume you’re flirting, when you were really just giving a compliment.
I imagine that’s gotta be annoying!”
4. Two things.
“I straight up cannot imagine how mortifying it must be for a young man who’s just entered puberty to have absolutely no control over when or where he is when he becomes visibly s**ually aroused by something.
Also, I am all too aware the “one in six” statistic is a gross under-calculation of incidents of male s**ual abuse.”
5. Doing good work.
“Being a male nurse. Male nurses are automatically labeled as homos**ual, whether they are or not.
Always being called upon to be the “muscle” to move patients, needing to have a chaperone when attending to female patients, and being called perverted for doing necessary tasks like catheterization, changing dressings, and bathing female patients.
None of this happens when the gender roles are reversed. The hospital I worked at did not allow male nurses to work in the maternity ward either because it made too many patients feel uncomfortable.
In the end, if the patient isn’t comfortable with a situation, then that’s entirely up to them to choose who cares for them, but there is still a bias in this field.”
“I truly feel that most men are more insecure than women. Women voice more insecurity but men can’t.
My boyfriend told me the other day some things he thinks of when he sees other men and I just guess I was ignorant to the fact that men have insecurities too.
Not being able to voice them has to make it more difficult.”
“Feeling responsible for your partner’s physical safety.
I know my husband (and some of my friends) feel like they should be ready to “protect” me if something happens.
That must be scary.”
“My boyfriend has awful anxiety.
I love him so dearly but there aren’t a lot of specialists and people who understand guys anxiety.
He doesn’t know where to turn for good coping mechanisms or treatment because no one takes it seriously.”
9. Some make great teachers.
My fiancée is becoming a teacher, and he was told that he should make sure to never be alone a student, especially female students, so he could have another witness just incase he’s falsely accused by the student. He was told that a female teacher would be the best for a witness if he needed to speak with a student.
Also in my senior year, we got a new band director who wasn’t much older than us seniors. He was 24 I believe.
He was very uncomfortable if any student tried to hug him; we had some very affectionate people in class and our old band director didn’t really have an issue with giving us hugs every now and again. I understood why the new director was uncomfortable because he didn’t want to be accused of inappropriate behavior.
If it was a female teacher, I’m pretty sure no one would even bat an eye.”
10. There’s a stigma.
“Being a stay home dad since a lot of people always assume that women stay home to take care of kids.”
11. The way it is, I guess.
“I’m an Italian man who’s very affectionate (I’m a hugger) and playful around kids.
And if I could just be myself I would coo over every baby I see. But I have to hold it back hard cause of the association between men who imo are good with kids and pedos. And to some extent I get it, heaven forbid my kid was ever attacked by a pe**phile…
But I just wish society realized that some men dote over children too, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
12. Mental health.
“Getting help for mental health issues.
The fact that men commit more suicide in all countries but China shows that it’s a gendered problem.
Women tend to attempt more through less abrupt means like overdose, but men do it abruptly (like shooting, hanging, etc) and therefore more men die from suicide than women.
We really need to address this because while mental health is an important across the board, I think men find it more difficult to seek help.”
13. Hard to open up.
I have a lot of male friends (and a fiancee) who I’ve had to bend over backwards to get any kind of response when asking if they’re ok (especially when they Vaguebook and I want to make sure they’re ok).
I get some women are like this too, but realise it’s a lot harder for men because of the social standpoint of “Men need to be tough, so no showing feelings” kinda thing.”
“Finding support when being abused or after being s**ually assaulted.
We need to acknowledge that these things happen to men too, especially since female abusers will often take advantage of the fact that not a lot of people are going to take a man seriously if he says he’s in an unsafe situation. It’s really sickening.
Or how female pe**philes often get a pass to assault boys because people just assume like “oh they’re boys it probably just made them more popular”.”
15. How tall are you?
“Height – I feel that is pretty standard.
Tall women are marketable as models, short women are seen as “cute” – no matter what, there is a “market” for either type of woman; however, short men are laughed at and made fun of – women will openly say they won’t date a man unless he’s 6’0.
My husband is shorter than me at about 5’5 and he grew up thinking he’d never find a woman.”
16. A hard one.
“Playing or interacting with children without someone automatically making the assumption that they are a creep.”
17. Not many friends.
“Most men seem socially starved and only have one or two close friends, if that.”
18. Never thought of that.
As a woman with an ED who has been part of quite a few general ED and recovery focused communities, I have realized just how hard it is for men who are struggling to be taken seriously. EDs are commonly seen as “girl problems” and that’s just not true.
Men deal with body image difficulties, body dysmorphia, and EDs, too. They deserve just as much concern and care, and to be believed and helped just like women.”
19. Can’t be weak.
“Showing physical weakness.
I’m an archer and do so teaching here and there. Many men feel the need to ask for our heaviest bows (like 28 lbs max, because we aren’t stupid) and will refuse to go lighter even when it’s obvious it’s not working out.
They feel they have to, because society told them they’re not real men if they’re not physically strong.”
20. High rollers.
“I’ve noticed my male friends feel this extra pressure to find a job with a high salary, even if the job makes them unhappy, and regardless of having a family to support.
It seems like more of their identity is shaped by how much they make, rather than what they do or how much they enjoy their lives. My single female friends just seem happier in their jobs for different reasons.
I can’t imagine going through life feeling that extra pressure, and being told that my worth is defined by a number.”
21. Judged for it.
“Having anxiety problems.
When I (a woman) talk about my anxiety disorder, people are sympathetic. When I talk about my husband’s anxiety disorder, people start saying things like “He needs to man up”.
We both get judgment for it but he gets a whole extra bit of toxic masculinity related judgment.”
“Just being human. Societies view of a man: Deal with it. Get things done. No complaining. Mind reading. No emotions. Baby sits his kids.
The reality is men are human. They have just as many emotions as women. They are allowed to love being around their kids or any kids. They are allowed to set outside the box we (society) put them. Man up, suck it up, don’t cry like a b**ch. These should all be abolished.
No wonder so mamy men and up lashing out. We tell them to bottle up their emotions their whole lives. Then you exact them to mind read and navigate a minefield of relationships. Which require emotional intellect.
It’s hard being a women. It’s also hard to be a man today. We all need to cut each other a break.
Even looking at me too. Many women are assaulted by men. Many women have claimed r**e when its just not so. Everything has multiple perspectives. And having these doesn’t have to take away from either issues.
While as a women I can see the issues I face daily. I as a mother, partner and just human see the struggles men face every day. Just existing.”
23. That’s dumb.
“I’m a lifeguard, a trained professional lifeguard who has pulled people from the water, stopped some pretty major bleeding and successfully done CPR on someone.
However when I tell someone I’m a lifeguard the response I get 90% of the time is “oh your a pe**phile obviously”. Really annoys me.”
Now we want to hear from some more women out there.
Tell us what you think is harder for men.
Please do it in the comments!