You have to trust your gut when you meet folks.
If you’re at least pretty decent at reading them, you’ll notice that some huge red flags go up right away when you meet new people.
And I think there’s a difference between being judgmental and recognizing things that are not good about someone new.
AskReddit users talked about the red flags they immediately notice when they meet new people.
1. Talking over you.
“They don’t listen to what you say and respond accordingly, they only wait for you to stop talking so they can talk about whatever they want to talk about.”
“Usually when people speak of having a lot of people in their life that somehow turned on them and now they don’t speak anymore.
I remember one old coworker would become super fast friends with someone, then within weeks “yeah we don’t really talk anymore” once, i’ll accept, hell even twice, but when its 4-5 times over….
guess what, it’s not everyone else.”
3. A big one.
“For me a huge red flag is when someone can’t let someone else receive praise or be the centre of attention.
I’ve met people in the past who have shown small signs of jealousy when I’ve praised mutual friends, siblings, strangers etc. and in each case it was indicative of bigger jealousy and self-esteem issues that led to some messed up stuff.”
“Belittling their SO in front of people but insisting its a joke every time!
Sadly in this situation I used to be the belittled SO…”
5. Run away. Fast.
“When you barely know them and they act like your best friend…
Then later ask to borrow money.”
6. Back to me…
“When they only talk about themselves.
I once had a two hour long date with someone where he asked me two questions.”
7. Doesn’t sound promising.
“When they start talking about the tons of money they’re going to be making with their new business venture in selling knives door to door.”
8. Well, got that out of the way.
“”HI, my name is ‘____’, and I’m an asshole.”
Literally how the shop manager introduced himself to everyone. Like it’s an excuse.”
9. Let me tell you my life story.
“When they monopolize a conversation, when they steer the conversation so that you end up being shown a phone full of photos.
When they engage in a whole monologue about their health or relationship issues, when they brag a lot if not about themselves then their family members.”
10. That was determined to be a LIE!
“I have only ever met 2 men (that I’m aware of) who lied to me about their ages when we met. Both of these men turned out to be extremely unpleasant and abusive people (I dated one of them and knew the gf of the other one).
I think people who lie easily even over trivial things tend to have very complex psychological problems and are best steered clear of.”
11. Sounds like a real dick.
“How they treat waiters/waitress, cashiers, janitors, bus drivers and everyone in the service industry. A coworker friend of mine left a bunch of trash at the cinema after we finished watching a movie.
I angrily pick up his trash, chased him and told him to throw it away at the bin 3 meters outside of the cinema. And he replied “Dude, why are you so Japanese?” (I did graduated from Japan) “I’m just letting the janitors doing their job”.
No dude, it’s not being Japanese, it’s being having manners. Couldn’t look at him the same way again ever since.”
12. Usually true.
“One of my bosses once told me that whenever you start a new job it’s usually the first person who tries really hard to be your friend is the problem child of the office. They’ll usually start telling you of people to avoid as well.
I’ve found this very very useful.”
13. Here we go…
“When the first thing they tell you about themselves is all the hardship and unfairness in their lives…”
14. Drives me insane.
“People that are not considerate with your time. Being five minutes late every so often isn’t a big deal.
But when people are consistently 20 minutes late and make people wait, say for a dinner.”
15. A hard pass.
“I met a girl through mutual friends that seemed cute. We flirted a bit and then became facebook friends.
98% of her feed is passive aggressive jabs at ex boyfriends, or about guys friend zoning her after having the nerve to accept back-rubs yet not rewarding her kindness with a relationship.
Oh so if we date and it doesn’t work out, you’re going to put me on blast to all our mutual friends?
That’s a hard pass for me.”
16. Shot down.
“When you mention something you enjoy and they immediately put it down
“I enjoy going on photography walks around cities.”
“That sounds really shitty”
Ok well kindly get lost Mr/ Mrs Stranger.”
Now we want to hear from you!
In the comments, tell us what YOU think are major red flags when you meet someone new.
Please and thank you!