People are weird. If you ask me, that’s one of the best things about us. That said, there are moments when something comes out of a person’s mouth and you just stop and wonder what in the heck is wrong with them.
I imagine the 15 people below were thinking just that when they got hit with these 15 totally weird comments.
“I like your eyeballs.”
#14. Just for golf?
“A priest walked up to me. Said “you have a great figure for golf”. And then walked away.”
#13. And then she did.
“Can I lick your eye?” And then she did.”
#12. I was high for a week.
“An old lady sitting at the table behind me in a coffee shop once tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I’d ever done radio, because evidently I have a wonderful speaking voice and enunciation. I was high for a week on that compliment.”
#11. Like it was nothing.
“I used to work with children, so I have a ton of answers to this since kids say weird shit all the time, but I think one of my favorites was when a five year old came over to me and goes “so I’ve been thinking abut it, and I’ve decided that we could probably fit two and a half blue whales in this room” and then just walked off like it was nothing.”
#10. What if…
“What if we replaced all the beads in bean bags with teeth?”
#9. Sophie’s choice.
“If your girlfriend and mom swapped bodies and the only way to get them back to normal is to fuck one of them, which one would you fuck?”
#8. Quack quack
“I had just gone for a run, and was in the apartment elevator. An old man in the elevator said ‘i don’t go for walks because there are ducks.’ I was like ‘yeah,’ and then his wife was like ‘there is nothing wrong with ducks!'”
#7. I thought you were my son.
“I was shopping in a bookstore and an Asian woman comes up from behind me and starts talking to me.
I turn to see who this person is, and she says, “I’m sorry, I thought you were my son.”
I am a white female with long hair. I later see her son who is about 7 years old with short hair and is Asian…”
#6. I was walking my dog.
“What a cute kitty!”
I was walking my dog.”
#5. Not the dancer.
“Got stopped on the streets of Nice by an old asian woman, who asked me ‘Are you the dancer?’
To which I said ‘Yes.’
She said she was a big fan, I thanked her.
I am not the dancer.”
#4. Time, man…
“Stranger at the bus stop: Excuse me, what time is it?
Me: checks phone 3:00
Me: ??? What?
Stranger: Why is it 3:00?
I told him I wasn’t sure. He looked utterly defeated and walked away”
#3. My only interaction.
“Someone drawing my blood during a blood drive asked if I was a Mormon. I was not. Neither was she. She didn’t explain why she asked that. This was my only interaction with this human.”
#2. A stranger in line.
“I love how good you Samoan guys are at football!”
Nevermind that I’m of European decent and he was a stranger in line behind me at Lowe’s.”
#1. Still want to be a sheep.
“You’re like a goat desperately trying to be a sheep”
Talking to a stoned friend about how I’d like to fit in more, it sort of made a lot of sense to me and really had one of those click in place and realization moments.
Still want to be a sheep though.”
People, man. Gotta love ’em.