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What’s Your Best Insult Without Swearing? Let’s See What People Said!

Anybody out there can drop F Bombs and use dirty language to insult someone, but you gotta be clever to make someone feel humiliated without using swear words.

I like to think of it as an art form…

So, what’s your best insult without swearing?

Let’s get funny with folks on AskReddit!

1. That hurts…

“I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you.”

2. Yes!

“I once asked a girl, “Where have you been all my life?”

Her response was, “I don’t know, but I wish I was still there.””

3. Burn!

“You’re a conversation starter.

Not when you are around, but once you leave.”

4. Head the other way.

“If you were the light at the end of the tunnel, I’d turn back around.”

5. This will bother them.

“Calling them by a characteristic or article of clothing they are wearing.

Whatever you say haircut. Or sure thing sunglasses.

It will bother them long after the comment.”

6. Harsh.

“I envy the people who have never met you.”

7. Yeah!

“I’d give you a nasty look, but you’ve already got one.”

8. Ouch!

“I’d call you dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open…”

9. You’re a total drag.

“”I wish for just one time you could stand in my shoes—you’d know what a drag it is to see you.”

Not mine, but still good.”

10. I can’t wait!

“I’m genuinely excited to never interact with you again.”

11. Get away from me!

“If I throw a stick, will you leave?”

12. This is good.

“I stole this from Triumph but I love this one:

“If you’re here, who’s home disappointing your parents?””

13. Not too bright, are you?

“You are the reason why shampoo has instructions.”

14. You’re being missed.

“Somewhere, somehow, you are robbing a village of an idiot.”

15. They’re gonna feel bad after this one.

“I don’t like you very much. I’m only nice to you because no one else likes you either.”

16. You’re not so special, you know?

“You and I will rot the exact same way when we’re dead.”

A favorite in dealing with entitled people.”

17. All mine.

“I don’t know that it actually counts as an insult, but I once had to deal with this *sshole who repeatedly told my girlfriend that he was in love with her and she should leave me for him.

He messaged me once to say that he was a better man than me etc… I just replied “while you’re laying awake thinking of her, she’s laying awake thinking of me.”

18. Feel free to mix it up.

““You would have been better as a stain between the bedsheets” or any variation of it.”

19. Where’s your mom?

“My mother always told me to be nice or be quiet.

I presume you’ve not heard from yours in years?”

20. A waste of air.

“Somewhere, a tree is crying because it worked so hard to make that oxygen you’re wasting.”

Do you have any great insults you like to dish out that don’t involve swearing?

Talk to us in the comments!

We’d love to hear from you!