Ouch…this is gonna be a tough one…
Because how are we supposed to react when people admit they don’t think they should have had children?
Yeah, it’s kind of heavy, right?
Take a look at these responses from AskReddit users about why they regret having children.
1. Missing freedom.
“I regret having a child even if I tried years to have him during a difficult infertility journey, I realize now I really miss my freedom, free time etc.
They are so many thing I would have want to be free to do… but at that time I had this huge animal like desire to have a child. It was an natural instinct a bit like being hungry, thirsty, horny etc… it’s a gap you need to fill.
But please understand: I regret having a child, but I’ll never regret having my son: I love him more than I could say and can’t imagine losing him.
You can’t know how you’ll react after having a child: hormones dictate a lot.”
2. Where’s the support?
“I do regret it. Our boys are wonderful but I don’t get the help or support my husband promised.
I wanted the husband, the kids, the works and my husband insisted he wanted the same thing. He was the one who initiated the child conversation and said he wanted a big family. He insisted he wanted to be hands on. Now, we have our 2 and I hardly see him and he barely participates in their upbringing.
I honestly don’t know how we’re going to get them potty trained because I work full time and I don’t know that my husband will step up. I feel horrible for our kids because I’m doing the best I can but they’re not getting the life they were supposed to.
My mental health is garbage and my husband doesn’t care. I love our boys but knowing what I know now, I don’t know that I would choose to do it again. I have no intention of discontinuing my birth control until menopause.”
3. A big toll.
“I love my son, I wouldn’t be without him… but if I had known the toll pregnancy/birth would take on my health, I’d have stayed childless.
Can’t undo that so I live with it, but that’s a “crystal ball” regret.”
4. Wow.
“I always knew I didn’t want to have kids. I got pregnant pretty young (16). I was given the option to terminate the pregnancy, but my boyfriend (and his family) manipulated me into having the baby.
I do love my son, but I h**e being a mom. Needles to say, my boyfriend was a piece of s**t who mistreated me and a**sed me for our entire relationship. I was a child, and I didn’t know any better.
If I had to do it again, I would terminate the pregnancy.”
5. Truth.
“The complete lack of freedom.
And the noise.
Those are the downsides for me.”
6. Hard times.
“My oldest is 3 and never shuts up. I’m hoping it’s a phase… Also struggling to be able to take a pee without someone needing something as soon as I sit in the toilet. I
feel like it’s one of those “the grass is greener on the other side” kind of things. My life would be pretty sad without them, but sometimes I wish I could just pack up and leave without anyone missing me.”
7. Didn’t sign up for this.
“You don’t know what life is going to throw at you. We made a couple, adopted a few. It was amazing…til Dad d**d and I was left with five teenagers.
Between a developmental delay, residual trauma baggage, and losing Dad, there’s still always at least one of them, all in their twenties now, struggling terribly. They’re not done yet. I love them dearly.
I’d give any one of them my heart if they needed it.. But I’m tired. I didn’t sign up for this. And I find myself wondering what I’d tell 25 year old me if I had the chance…”
8. This is rough.
“I never wanted kids, knew it my whole life. Accidentally got my gf pregnant at 28… begged her with every fiber of my being not to go through with it. She did.
Now I’m a dedicated and loving father, because it’s not my kids fault that she exists so I’m not going to mistreat her. But I h**e it. A lot. Had to move away from the city I loved to be closer to her. I spend ungodly amount of money. Live in a cookie cutter house I never wanted.
Lost the freedom to travel at will. Have to spend my Weekends doing kid S**t I h**e. Have to manage a 4 year old who can throw tantrums like any kid which is much harder considering I don’t wanna be doing this at all. Kids really f**king suck man I’m sorry for the happy parents out there to say it but god I f**king h**e this.”
9. If I could turn back time…
“Because I can’t handle meeting all of his “special” needs.
It’s f**king killing me.
If I could go back in time and not get pregnant, I would.”
10. A lot of work.
“They are so much work. Kiss your free time good bye, there’s ALWAYS something that needs to be done.
Clean bottles, do laundry, change diapers, repeat. He is the light of my life now but good lord I just want some free time back.”
11. Expectations.
“I had kids because it was expected in the religion I was raised in.
Now I’m 31 with 4 kids ages 10, 9, 7, and 4. I left the religion but my 9 year old is disabled, completely nonverbal and in diapers. Will never be able to live independently. My youngest 2 have big speech delays.
Honestly I’m just exhausted. I didn’t start dealing with my mental health issues until a few years ago and now I’m in a better place but with the realization that I mentally probably shouldn’t have had kids. Or at least not so many. On my bad days I really wish I would’ve left the church after marrying my husband but before having kids.
It’s just so hard. I can’t ever let my guard down. Our house has multiple locks on every door, window, cabinet, fridge, you name it. My 9 year old has no concept of danger and will run off given any opportunity. One time the front door was left unlocked. I went pee and he had left the house and gone to the neighbors house. And there’s no end in sight.
This is my life now. Until I die. I will never ever let my kids see this side of me, they will always be loved and provided for. This is my s**t to deal with not theirs. Just a hard pill to swallow.”
12. A sad story.
“Yes but for a good reason.
I had a daughter in 1985, she was my sunshine. Her dad and I had problems but who didn’t, and they weren’t bad problems, just ‘getting married a bit too young’ problems (he was 24 and I was 22 when she was born). And we had a good life, all that.
And then when she was 7 she was diagnosed with AML, fought it for two years, and then passed away.
After that, we split, got back together, developed addictions, fought, there was DV, on both sides, all of it. I got pregnant twice more but opted for abortions because I didn’t want to ever lose a child that I loved again.
He finally passed away ten years ago, so he’s at peace now.
But yeah, I regret every day having her. It was so good, it was like, I had it all, good kid, good husband, good life. And then it all went away in a minute. I’d rather have never had her than only been allowed to keep her a few years.”
Why do you regret having kids?
Talk to us in the comments and share your story.
Thanks in advance!
