Window Washers Share the Strange and Funny Things They’ve Seen While Working

©Unsplash,Nuno Silva

I think that working as a window washer has to be one of the more interesting (and dangerous) jobs out there.

Dangerous because sometimes you’re suspended way above the street and that wind tends to make them a little iffy. Interesting because you get paid to be a Peeping Tom and you get to observe all kinds of weird things that people do.

AskReddit users shared their crazy stories.

1. A love story…

“Just a regular window cleaner here, not high rise. I was once going up my ladders to clean a bedroom window on the second floor at around 8am.

As i got to the top of the ladder i was confronted with a couple going for it at an angle which indicated that he was, shall we say, taking the road less travelled.”

2. This is creepy.

“I washed windows for a cemetery during college and this still baffles me and I am a firm athiest but it was Sunday and the entire building was closed and locked, I was just washing the outside, there wasn’t a single car in the entire parking lot and every door was locked, all of the sudden I see a priest walk past a doorway and I thought hmm that’s strange maybe my mind is just playing tricks on me

about 5 minutes later I see him again for longer and I check all the doors and parking lots again and nothing/no one. It was one of the creepiest things I’ve ever seen. I also heard children laughing there was well, again on a day they were closed. I assume there was some logical explanation but it still gives me chills.”

3. Gross…and weird…

“I was once punished by the head RA of my dorm for blatantly getting fucked up in the mini quad in front of my dorm. She told me to clean the entrance windows and pick up the trash along a sidewalk that was parallel to the first floor windows. I saw one of my friends hooking up with a girl from another college through the window…it was so…fucking awkward.

They were like fully extending their tongues out of their mouth and just licking each other’s tongues, without their lips touching. Oh, and his monitor had some tentacle porn on.”

4. Learned a lesson.

“Had a strange house with two hot Hungarian girls. Anyway we did our thing cleaning the exterior windows. Half way through i climb up to a bathroom window and as soon as I look at the glass I see a Hungarian mans ass in a bathroom window. We make eye contact immediately (him staring at the mirror.)

I dip back down the ladder like lightening and move on. About 5 minutes later one of the women comes out and awkwardly says “that’ll be enough thank you” (only about half the house done makes no sense). I wholeheartedly agree, take the check and GTFO. Learned to always knock loudly when approaching bathroom windows from the outside.”

5. Very odd…

“Our company had all the libraries in a small county. At one of them I’m inside on a ladder when I see a guy with a shaved head. He had missed a small square of hair on the back. He’s wearing a yellow floral print dress. As he’s walking up the stairs to the entrance he steps up a step and then touches his toes to the step he just came from.

Does this all the way up until he’s on the top, touches his toes to the previous step and trips falling flat on his face. The librarian was shushing me for laughing. Nearly fell off the ladder.

That and the 85yo woman sitting naked in her bathroom.

Saw 2 fatties humping on some sleeping bags in the living room once. Devised it was lunch break time pretty quick.”

6. Oh my…

“One of my friends cleans windows part time while studying. He says it’s usual to see nudity and sex once in a while but he can’t forget one house where he refuses to go now.

He was 23 at that time a few years ago and got to a HUGE mansion along with coworkers. The (very obese) owner lived with his (also very obese) wife and the 2 of them had like a whole team of maids. When he arrived this one maid came out to welcome them and tell them they could happen to see the couple having sex but if they do they should just keep on working on the windows as the couple want the work done quickly.

This was awkward but ok. Now unfortunately my friend being the new guy was put to work on the couple’s bedroom’s side of the house. As he completes other windows he gets to the couple’s bedroom window. Now imagine this 190kg guy and even heavier wife (trying to) have sex. What was weird though was that 3 maids were standing besides the bed “helping” them. I.e helping the fat guy go in and out.

You could see the terror in the maids’ eyes of what they had chosen to do in their life once they realized my friend was seeing everything.

Pretty sure that fucked him up real bad.”

7. This is very weird.

“On my first job as a window washer I went to this house and started washing windows and saw my Ex-girlfriend having sex with her new boyfriend.

And then she came outside and started yelling at me that “this is insane” and “window washers don’t come to people’s houses at 3 in the morning” and “I’m pretty sure they carry more than just Great Value Window Cleaner and a roll of paper towels.””

8. Clearly an exhibitionist.

“Had one old lady (maybe 50-60-ish) in a dressing gown sat on her chair while on the phone looking directly at me. Nothing new there we get watched a lot but this old lady opened up her dressing gown, spread one of her legs on the arm of the chair and starts frigging off right in front of me.

While still chatting away on the phone too with a huge smile on her face. I was thinking maybe she was on a sex line or something and me being there was just a little extra thrill. She had a wicked grin on her face and was rubbing that p*ssy fast i remember that.”

9. This might take the cake.

“I used to work as a window washer in Seattle. We would do a big office building about once a month. One window we passed was an active porn scene. Video camera and lighting and everything. The thing was, everyone was dressed as clowns, and the guy running the projector looked exactly like Joe Pesci.

Not similar to Joe Pesci. Exactly like Joe Pesci. He started screaming at us to get the fuck away from their set, while waving a gun around. Then he shot one of the clowns in the face. We scurried a few floors away. I was right there with Joe. I don’t like clowns either.”

10. The wrong door.

“When I was in college I worked at a window washing company that also did cleaning door and window frames. We were at a large mansion and one of my colleagues needed to go inside. He came back out and asked me to come in and help him. There was a reason he didn’t want to go alone.

Apparently he opened the wrong door (to the basement) and there was this altar with some weird stuff and a small skull on it (thought it was from a monkey or something). My boss later told me the house belonged to masons and that they would gather and have meetings there, although I don’t know if masons have altars and the likes. Washing the mansion got a bit weird after our find.”

11. This would scare me.

“When I was a teenager I worked for a small town window washing company. It was mostly residential work at older peoples houses and apartments who couldn’t keep up with their house work.

This one house was owned by an elderly single woman who kept all sorts of mannequins around. Some were in weird places like in bedrooms silohetted by windows or behind large house plants.

I think she was just lonely… Or crazy.”

12. Bring out the gimp.

“My buddy was doing scaffolding repair after a particularly windy day on the gold coast and told us he saw a dude rocking the upper half of a leather body suit, like the gimp from Pulp Fiction, and nothing on his lower half.

He wasn’t seen and scurried on down…”

13. Enjoying himself.

“I once saw a grown man jumping on his bed in his tighty whities. I wasn’t even shocked.

He just looked like he was having so much fun.”

14. The day to day…

“I do highrise window cleaning in Vancouver. Nothing exciting, mostly do residential buildings. Most people are at work. Normally its just cats or old asian women saying you didnt clean their window well enough. If you do come across somebody naked you just tend to ignore it and clean the window and move on. Each section takes less than a minute and most of the time you can only see your own reflection. (until you clean the window)

I have a coworker who did window cleaning in Australia for a long time and she had seen some wild stuff. More partying and drinking and drugs over there in the daytime.”

It actually sounds like a pretty fun job to me!

What do you think? Would you want to wash windows for work? Have you washed windows for work before?

Talk to us in the comments!