When survivors of abuse open up about their experiences, confused folks often wonder: “Why didn’t you just leave?” But escaping from an abusive situation is never that simple. It’s a tangled, terrifying web of threats and intimidation, and it’s usually carefully hidden from others. Bystanders often have no idea just how bad things have gotten.
One woman shared screenshots of her abusive ex-husband’s text messages to show exactly what it’s like on the inside of an abusive relationship. Kristy is, thankfully, no longer with her ex, Adam.
First, he’d frequently send her a barrage of paranoid texts while she was on shift at work, despite the fact that she wasn’t allowed to have her phone while on the clock.
Another text shows Adam questioning her about her coworker, Tony, who committed the cardinal sin of changing her tire once.
And the third text shows that he literally set traps for her so that he’d know whether she slept at home or not. She was at a female friend’s house that night.
Adam also physically abused Kristy, then warned her not to tell her family members about it despite the fact that they could see the bruises on the rare occasions when they got to see Kristy.
Adam was so controlling and paranoid that he made Kristy take photos to prove that she wasn’t lying about her location.
He also made her step out at midnight every night to call her, And though she did her best to comply with his outlandish demands, he still berated her and told her not to come back to their home state.
Adam wasn’t always this way. He used to be kind and loving, Kristy says, until she lost weight and got a job. Then the abuse began.
“I finally got the guts to leave when he hurt my dog and kitten,” she explained. “3 years later and I’m actually doing great… I save these text messages to remind myself how far I’ve come.”
We support you Kristy. And anyone whose having trouble in an abusive relationship, just know that there are resources that you can rely on, and people who want to help you.