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Family is a tricky topic. Those of us with excellent parents and siblings and extended family are the lucky ones, though we often don’t realize that sometimes, family aren’t people you are proud to claim.
That’s the case here, with a sister who spent some time living with her sister and brother-in-law-, niece and nephew, and did not come out thinking highly of the adults in the situation.
They treated her basically like Cinderella – free labor and childcare, and demanding she pay rent besides.
I’m a 28F and I have a sister (36F) For the sake of story, I’ll just call Jane. Jane is married to “Bob” and they have two kids, boy and a girl. My niece and nephew are wonderful kids and no trouble at all. They fight as siblings do but nothing big. I love them. Now for about two years, I did live with my sister. It was a miserable time that really affected our relationship. She saw me as free labor, money and babysitting.
Even when I managed to get a small part time job, she demanded I hand over nearly half my pay or get out. It was hell as she took completely advantage of me. I moved out as soon as I could and we have little contact outside of family gatherings.
After OP moved out, the sister realized how tough it is to not have a free babysitter et al in the house, and OP has set some firm and healthy boundaries of her own.
Now after I moved out, she started complaining how “She has no help with the kids and never gets a break!” I babysit sometimes but I have made it clear, just cause I am off work, doesn’t mean I want an 8 hour day with my niece and nephew.
Then, the sister started talking about how she wanted to “get” a foster kid – a teenager, to live in the garage, maybe, and do all of the cooking and cleaning babysitting because they’d be so “grateful” to have a roof and a bed.
Y’all, my face right now.
Anyway she started talking about how she wanted to foster a kid. Not a kid but a teenager. I pressed her for more info on this. She wants to adopt a teenager so she has a live in babysitter for her kids. This is her logic: “I want a kid around 16 or 17, you know someone who may have been in the system for awhile. They can share a room with your nephew (she only has a three 3 bedroom house) or sleep in the garage. They can help me with house work, chores, cook and help me with my business.(She bakes and sells cookies)
Also babysit the kids so me and Bob can go out sometimes or have some alone time. They’ll be so grateful for a home and won’t complain. I won’t have to pay them at all. And then when they turn 18, I can just sign up for another foster kid! A teenager will be so much easier than a little kid, they will be grateful just to have a roof, food, siblings if they have been separated from their real ones and clothes.”
OP was also horrified, and when a social worker came to interview her as a character witness, she told the the truth about why her sister was applying to be a foster parent.
I was horrified! Told her it was a horrible idea! She didn’t listen to me. She went on with it anyway. About a month ago, a social worker showed up at my apartment to ask me some questions about my sister. She had put me down as a character witness or something like that.
I immediately told the social worker why my sister really wanted to foster a kid and how she treated me when I lived with her. The lady thanked me.
The sister and her husband were denied, and when OP told her sister the truth about her conversation with the social worker, the sister just blew up.
Her family also thinks OP was out of line.
My sister called crying saying that she wouldn’t be considered for any adoptions or fosters. The social worker told her that they felt her home and her weren’t a good fit. She asked if I said anything and I told the truth. She went off on me, hung up and we haven’t spoken since. She has sent some angry texts.
A couple family members are on her side. They think foster kids are fucking dogs or something and would be so happy just to have a roof and would gladly do all the housework.
So AITA here?
I think we can all guess how the internet is going to feel about treating kids like dogs in a shelter, but let’s peruse these responses anyway, hmm?
OP did the right thing for a child in a precarious situations, so there’s no way she could be wrong.
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She might have saved her sister from an even more awkward moment in the future, too.
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Apparently this is a thing people do? What the heck.
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All kids deserve a helping hand, not just the ones who are little and cute.
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It makes me want to throw up, honestly.
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I hate that there are so many people in the world who try to take advantage of kids, and especially kids who have barely had a chance in life the way it is.
What’s your opinion of this situation? Tell us about it in the comments!
