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There are a bunch of awesome things about being a woman, don’t get me wrong. There are also a bunch of sh**ty aspects that come part and parcel, especially in our current society. Honestly, unless you’ve actually walked mile in my heels (dragging a toddler and wearing a baby) then you really can’t get it.
Men, take notice – these 15 things make our lives harder, even if you have no idea they’re happening.
#15. Put down to hormones.
“Getting upset or annoyed about something and having it be put down to hormones and/or PMS.”
#14. When we’re really young.
“I was 11 and standing in line at a very crowded restaurant when some nasty a** 50+ year old man started rubbing my butt. I tried to move, but it was so crowded that I couldn’t go very far and he’d get right behind me and start doing it again.
Nothing in my 11 years of life had prepared me for that moment and I was too shocked/ paralyzed/ scared to do or say anything. I never told anyone because I thought i had done something wrong.
Yeah, it starts when we’re really young.”
#13. Because I’m a woman.
“In some cultures, women are the ones who have to serve tea and food to guests who come to their home to visit.
Doesn’t matter if I’m busy studying in my locked room and my brothers are playing video games.
I’ve been told I have to do it ‘because I’m a woman’.
I f**king can’t stand some of my middle eastern culture and traditions.”
#12. Sucks so much.
“Buying a car. The times I tried to buy a new truck/car were terrible. A couple of salesmen totally ignored me, one didn’t let me drive the car I wanted, another told me I didn’t really need a truck, I was lied too about price and equipment, a car mechanic told me it was normal for the odometer to not be functioning in a new car … Buying a car sucks so much that I haven’t owned one in 5 years.
Also finding a bra that looks nice, is comfortable and doesn’t cost a fortune.”
#11. Not believed.
“Gender bias in the medical system – having an illness that is not believed.
Friend of mine had tuberculosis for years and doctors told her she was probably just an emotional new mum.”
#10. Future children.
“Not being able to make decisions about my body because of potential future children.
I have Endo and even with my IUD (a godsend, btw) I’m still miserable and in pain all the time.
I asked my doc about options and when I mentioned a hysterectomy I was immediately shut down because I haven’t had any children.
I want kids, but I’d prefer not being in immense pain every day.”
#9. Self-imposed curfews.
“Self-imposed curfews and location restrictions, ie not going to certain parts of town alone, or going to a gas station after dark.
One of my male friends laughed when I asked our group for someone to accompany me to the station after dark because he didn’t understand.
Also sneezing while on your period. That s**t sucks.”
#8. How vulnerable she is.
“My sister will call me when she walks home from work (she finishes late).
Every time she calls I realize how vulnerable she is at the moment.
It’s terrifying and I don’t stop worrying until she confirms she’s home and safe.”
#7. She’s scared of going there alone.
“This weekend I was talking with a girl friend who’s saying that it took her 20m to find a parking lot.
And I was like, why don’t you just park in “x” there’s always free parking there, and she says she’s scared of going there alone, it’s quite illuminated there but a little far off from the bars/café but honestly I’ve never even considered not leaving my car there or associated woman could be afraid of parking there, realizing this kinda made sad that people have to go through this :/”
#6. My oh-so-provocative knees.
“This might just be a personal pet peeve, but school uniforms through the years.
Middle school had skirts which were a nuisance because we were still at the age where we wanted to hang upside down on the monkey bars, but we could get in trouble if they could see your shorts underneath.
The high school had these pencil skirt things which were TERRIBLE. They had a slit in the back that went right up and if you moved wrong you’d just about flash everyone. They had to be past the knee – not on the knee, not above the knee – PAST the knee (note, these skirts move up as you walk.). I’d be fine with this, if their enforcement was fair. The boys always have shorts above the knee (but HOW am I meant to get an education with such distracting things like knees in the classroom?) but nobody ever bat an eye. I got stopped multiple times by this one deputy principle who disliked me. First time, my skirt was on the knee. Alright, fine. Let down the hem.
Second time, my skirt was rolled at the top. I get that they don’t want us pulling our skirts up all the way (sometimes people pulled their skirts up to the point where you could see their underwear, which obviously isn’t appropriate for school) but those skirts were designed terribly. If I didn’t roll my skirt, it wouldn’t fit me around the waist and would as a consequence fall down all day – which if you ask me is more of a distraction than my oh so provocative knees.”
#5. Some stupid broad.
“Being treated like I’m some stupid broad without two brain cells to rub together, or that my problems aren’t real because I’m ‘being overly dramatic’ or I’m in a rage over menstruation.
For example at work, I’m dealing with having my hours cut and days taken out of my schedule. I was very angry and upset about it for the first twenty minutes because it means I lose around 3 1/3 days of pay, which is a lot. The few guys around me told me to ‘put on my big girl panties and get over it’. My boss, actually, for a whole day, kept coming up to me randomly and telling me to suck it up because my period couldn’t last too much longer so I should feel better soon.
Like, go f**k yourself.”
#4. Their idea of competence.
“I’d say the hardest part is having to be a full-fledged expert in some areas in order to even prove yourself to be competent at the basic level, and still have people overlook me because I don’t fit their idea of competence in whatever trade.
I’ve been becoming a jack of all trades. One of my specialties is small engine mechanics and I’m regularly helping people who break down on scooters and mopeds. My fiance is not a mechanic but he’s okay at it and can do basic trouble shooting. People will regularly turn to him even after we’ve stated I’m the one with more knowledge. It’s so frustrating.
Then there was the time somebody attempted to not pay me because they didn’t want to pay a girl to do a man’s job. I had to threaten to disassemble the vehicle and let him put it back together to prove he’s a man if I didn’t get paid.”
#3. Or even younger.
“Guys often don’t know how early being s*xualized starts for us.
There have to be a lot of pedophiles around.
Most of the women I know have been hit on by adult men as early as 11, 12, 13 or even younger.
And then they ask why women feel unsafe…”
#2. What happens if you ignore it.
“Getting catcalled, but 2. specifically what happens if you ignore it or even try to just fake a smile and wave while hurrying away.
How it turns from unwanted “positive” commentary on your body to insults and threats. It’s humiliating at best and terrifying at worst.
And 3. When you try to talk about it and men are like “nah I’d never do that, so therefore it doesn’t happen and you should be nicer to these randos who are ‘complimenting’ you in the street.”
#1. Are they just not seeing me?
“I’m not sure if this one is just specific to me or if other women share this problem.
I’m a bartender and manager at a craft brewery. Very frequently, male customers, that I’m literally standing right in front of waiting to serve, will look right past me and order from the first male bartender they can. Now I am rather short, 5’0 to be exact. Are they just not seeing me, or do they honestly think my male coworker can somehow pour them a far more superior beer?”
The more you know, right fellas?
Okay ladies, but we want to hear from you! Which of these stories really hit home? Anything you’d like to add?
Do that in the comments!
