10 Patients Who Said the Most Hysterical Things While Under Anesthesia

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It’s safe to say we all have seen those hilarious videos of people coming up from being anesthetized. We’ve chuckled and rolled on the floor laughing at those poor, poor wisdom teeth patients that have no clue where they are, who they are, or what is happening.

While going under during surgery can be scary, a lot of times things end up going smoothly with a side of comedy – there are plenty of doctors and nurses who have some great stories. So when a Reddit user asked the question, “Anesthesiologists, what are the best things people have said under the gas?” the internet went crazy!

10. “You’ll never take me down!”

“I had a colonoscopy just last month and the lady who administered the propofol and I had a brief conversation like this:
Me: “How long is that gonna take to kick in?”
Her: “You’ll be out in less than 10. I always win.” (with a big grin on her face)
I started to feel it immediately after that and followed with:
“You’ll never take me down!”
I then recall laughing like A MANIAC, followed by nothing. I think her quip about always winning and obviously the propofol got me good haha”

9. She’s got jokes!

“I was semi awake during a hand surgery. The only person I could see was the anesthesiologist. I remember telling him some jokes while I lay there. Then I remember hearing the doctor chuckle on the other side of the curtain, followed by “Would you put her the fuck out!” Then blackness.
I often have wondered if my hand would work better now if I weren’t so damn hilarious.”

8. She was so funny, she took it to the grave.

“Not an anesthesiologist but my tight laced, extremely christian great grandma apparently asked “who the fuck is that ugly son of a bitch” while she was waking up from a surgery. The person she was referring to? Her preacher who stopped by to check up on her. She never lived that one down. The story was even told at her funeral. She was kinda strict but she was a great lady with a great sense of humor.”

7. A talented doctor with bad jokes

“My anesthesiologist tried to calm me down with a joke when I was a little kid being put under. My mom later told me about how I apparently commented on the joke being not at all funny and how I hoped he was more talented as a doctor.”

6. A rockstar patient.

“Anesthesiologist here, I was once transporting a patient to the ICU after surgery, in which he got some ketamine, and he was rocking out the entire way there with his air guitar.”

5. Sometimes you get high as f*ck!

“I’m an anesthesiologist. I was recently taking care of a 17 year old kid and he looks at me and says “dude, I am high as fuck” They almost never remember it afterward.”

4. Can the devil can count backward?

“Two of my fav, both patients coming out of anesthesia:

“Am I in hell?” I responded “no you’re not, you’re just in recovery.” “…that sounds like something the devil would say. Count backwards from 100 to prove it.”

Or the one who stroked my unshaved arm while I was trying to keep him from pulling at his IV, and muttered “you’d make such a great carpet.”

3. Mistaking your nurse for your wife…

“Not anesthesia, but patient was heavily sedated in ICU, nurse gave an enema, half conscious response: “honey you know I don’t like it that way.”

2. “…this one’s going to die!”

“In high school I had a reconstructive surgery on my knee as I tore my ACL and meniscus in a sports injury. After the surgery I woke up in post op, which was a fairly large room with probably 6 to 7 other patients in beds waiting to become conscious again. I was lying there all groggy and confused when two nurses walked over pushing one of those carts with a computer on it. They stood over me and were typing into the computer when one nurse said to the other in a sort of frantic whisper “we’ve got to plug this thing in or this one is going to die!”. Naturally, semi conscious me thought that the “thing” was me and I started to incoherently yell for the nurses to unplug whatever they needed to in order to find an outlet to keep me alive.
Turns out it was the battery on the laptop that was going to die. Apparently the death rate for an ACL repair is pretty low.”

1. The five-second rule is crucial

“When I was about to go out for surgery. They were strapping me down, and told me it was so that I dont fall off the table. My last words were, it’s ok, 5 second rule.”

So the next time you go under, careful what you say!