Every once in a while, someone comes to AskReddit with a totally absurd hypothetical question. In this case, the question was about how one would manage to drink a 12-pack of beer every single day for a month while still holding down a job. The prize?
A million dollars.
As many Redditors pointed out, drinking a 12-pack every day is just standard for many alcoholics. But for the rest of us? People came up with some truly creative solutions to this truly random problem.
1. Vacation time, duh.
“Use four weeks of vacation and head to Mexico. Drink no other beer but Tecate Light. Come back home. Collect $1 million.”
“Save up a month’s worth of leave. Make the month February. Stay at home and just enjoy media.”
2. Drink light beer.
“My father was a psychiatrist and worked on drug and alcohol wards.
The typical American beer has a alcohol level that is designed to give a buzz but not get you drunk. A twelve pack fits perfectly in this business model.
He treated many functioning alcoholics who drank a case of beer a day.
A twelve pack was the most common amount drunk.”
3. Start right after work ends.
“Drink after work. I’m a reasonably-sized guy with a passable tolerance, I’ll just start as soon as my day ends. Mornings gonna suuuuck but I can live with it for a month for a flat mil.”
4. Or split it up throughout the day.
“Definitely need to split it up and hide some of the drinking. Down a couple when you get up (before you brush your teeth of course). Sneak one over lunch, maybe another around 3 as well. 8 is much more manageable in terms of not ending up rough the next morning.”
“1.wake up one beer get ready for the day
2. 2 beers at lunch time (food slows the absorption of alcohol into the liver)
3. Get home and start cranking as many as you can before dinner at 6 or 7.
4. Hopefully only have 3 left for after dinner which means you’ll be done before 9 with ample time to do prepare yourself so you are not hungover the next day”
5. Or even throughout the night.
“I came up with the same, although I set an alarm for 3 am and pound two then back to bed.”
6. Non-alcoholic beer.
“Make it non alcoholic beer et voila.”
7. Open all the beers at once.
“Open 9 beer and let them flatten in the fridge during work (To prevent being all bloated and gassy). Moment I get off start drinking. Eat dinner while drinking. Follow every 3 beer with water, walk to the grocery store, drunk groceries should naturally grab me alot of carbs which will be good. Also help me walk off alot of calories. Chug a quarter gallon of water before bed (Pee breaks constantly). Go to bed early! alarm set early, sugar and Tylenol ready to go in the morning try to work out before work to burn more calories, lots of veg and lean protein for lunch.”
8. Make a deal with the boss.
“”Hey boss, if I can slam a case of beers every day for a month and don’t get fired I get a hundred grand!” Offer a 50/50 split and boom $950,000 in the pocket.”
9. Work retail.
“Work in retail. Nobody cares.”
“Worked in retail, sent people home for showing up drunk. Didn’t fire them, was more expensive to train someone new who’d also have their own issues that to just send this guy home a couple times a month.”
10. Be a high-functioning alcoholic.
“Start drinking as soon as I get home from work until I go to sleep. Rinse repeat. So no changes really.”
“I drank a 12 pack a day for almost 2 years, the key is to have a drinking problem.”