12 Health Care Workers Share the Funny Things They’ve Heard From People Under Anesthesia

I had a hernia surgery a few years ago and when I woke up after being knocked out it was such a strange feeling.

I’d had surgery when I was a kid but I forgot how weird anesthesia makes you feel and what it does to you.

It’s wild stuff!

Check out what health care workers and patients had to say about funny and interesting things that have been said under anesthesia.

1. Thank God!

“After an operation on a patient’s neck, he woke up and yelled “AHHHH” then grabbed his junk with both hands and was like “oh thank God it’s still there” then immediately passed out again.”

2. Hand please.

“I had an ovarian cyst removed a year ago and woke up from the anesthesia saying ‘hand…hand please.’ and making ‘grabby hands’ with both my hands until the nurses finally came over and held my hands for about five minutes while I just smiled and tried to go back to sleep.

I hadn’t done that in a decade. I used to do it to my dad all the time as a kid to express that I wanted to hold his hand while I slept.”

3. It’s getting ugly.

“I woke up from gallbladder surgery confused as to why my mom wasn’t there (I was 18 and looking for my mom).

The nurse informed me I had cussed out my entire family and they sent them home and put me on a no visitor list, only for me to wakeup at 2 am with no memory making them call my mom back.

Another time I woke up and made horrifically inappropriate jokes. I told a nurse she was p**sing me off because I didn’t like the automatic blood pressure cuff. Another I refused to listen to followup orders until I had a chicken sandwich (my negotiations were not met).

I’m a real treat after anesthesia but I get a lot of this done at the office my mom works at so she can warn them.”

4. That’s a new one.

“I’m an anesthesiologist. The best story was a 40-some year old woman for appendectomy, said while I’m giving the propofol to induce anesthesia.

She said “oh I don’t remember it tasting like that before” (slurred). I said “what does it taste like?” since propofol doesn’t usually elicit a taste reaction.

She almost yelled “DEEEZ NUTS”, and was promptly under anesthesia thereafter. There have been other stories, but this one has the entire OR staff rolling laughing for minutes after she was under.”

5. Zing!

“My aunt got rushed to the hospital for abnormal heart rate – but it wasn’t a heart attack or stroke, but her heart was going at like 200 beats per minute or whatever it was.

They had to put her under so they could shock her heart back to normal. As they’re taking her under, the doctor says something like “Okay, in it goes” and she immediately quips with “That’s what she said”

All the doctors and nurses busted a gut laughing and told my uncle when he got there. He just shrugged and said “That’s my wife for ya.””

6. Treasure that moment.

“One summer I was home from college and my dad needed me to pick him up after his very first colonoscopy.

He was nervous so I got there early. The nurse called me back and asked me to help wake him up, as they were having some trouble. I go back and am making chit chat. “Oh dad, you’ve got those cool booties on!” He raised his head a little bit to look at them then yelled, “Booty call!”

He is a Presbyterian pastor. A moment I will treasure forever.”

7. Honest Abe.

“My husband had to undergo a colonoscopy and when he came around he started aggressively grilling the staff about Abraham Lincoln.

He isn’t a historian or anything, he works as a business analyst and knows next to nothing about Abraham Lincoln.”

8. Cracked up the nurses.

“One time I, a male biology student in his early 20’s with a stuck kidney stone, was being put under for surgery: Just as the anesthesiologist was pushing meds and telling me to count back from 100, I looked up at him in a drugged but focused gaze and said “You’re so pretty.. you could be in movies” then blackness.

Anesthesiologist was like a grizzled 70 year old hunched back looking guy with a lopsided grimace and more ear-hair than head-hair (great doc though).

Very last thing I remember hearing was the OR nurses cracking up laughing.

It was a smallish medical community and I knew some of the people there so as a joke somebody snuck his headshot into my chart. I like to think it was him gunning for a second career though!”

9. Hot doc.

“The doctor/surgeon was really attractive. I was a teenage girl.

I jokingly called him “Dr. A-hunk-a” to my mom during one of the pre-surgery appointments(it rhymed with his actual surname). Apparently one of the nurses overheard me.

She literally waited until I was high as hell and waiting to be put under, and then asked me “Hey, can I tell the other nurses what you called the doctor?”

She didn’t even have to tell them because I blurted out “YEEEEEEAAAAH he’s super cuuuuuute! Dr. A-hunk-aaaaaa” before passing out.”

10. Fake selfies.

“When I had my wisdom teeth out, I kept holding a fake camera up to my face saying “you’re beautiful” and making clicking noises while I was under.

I’m a professional photographer and my dental surgeon ended up booking a session with me a year later.”

11. Meow-sers!

“According to my mom, when she met me in the recovery room after wisdom tooth extraction I was very eager to tell her something but my mouth was full of gauze.

So they gave me a pen and I wrote something on the surgical bib. Hours later, when I was back in reality she asked me “what was with the meow meows, my son?” I had no idea what she was talking about so she showed me the bib.

It said: “Meow meow meow meow Meow meow meow meow Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow”

The Meow Mix theme.”

12. Wisdom teeth.

“My boyfriend at the time had just gotten his wisdom teeth removed, on the ride home with his mouth full of gauze, he gets a call on his cell phone.

He answered it and just starts talking away, whoever it was on the other side could not possibly understand a word he was saying with all the gauze in his mouth. But man, he had a lot to talk about and they apparently didn’t hang up….

After about 5 minutes of this unintelligible phone conversation he looks at me and says “Ooo ithh a robot” and gives me the phone. I put it to my ear, and the whole time its been the Walgreens pharmacy automated notice simply stating his prescription is ready for pickup, playing on repeat.

Probably for the best.”

Now it’s your turn.

Share your funny and interesting medical stories with us in the comments.

Thanks a lot!