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12 Funny Tweets, Made to Order

Source: @ttarashoe on Twitter

12 interesting tweets walk into a bar and ask the bartender, “What time is it?”

The bartender says, “We don’t serve tweets.”

The tweets say (in unison), “We don’t want any of your liquor poison. We just want to know the time.”

The bartender looks at the clock and says, “It’s noon.”

The tweets say (again, in unison), “No it isn’t. What time is it?”

The bartender understands what’s going on, and now just gives up and says, “I don’t know, what time is it?”

The tweets say (yes, in unison), “It’s 12 interesting tweets time!”

The bartender frowns.

The tweets walk out of the bar.

That time… is now.

12. Well, what happens if a murderer wants them to spell?

What then AmishPornStar?!?!

Photo Credit: The Chive

11. It’s the smartest thingamabob!

I learned it not school!

Photo Credit: The Chive

10. I’m sure that’s what they’ll say.

Positive… heh.

Photo Credit: The Chive

9. That’ll teach ’em!

But don’t do this to limes. It’ll make them cry.

Photo Credit: The Chive

8. Oh wow…

You’ve been doing it ALL this time.

Photo Credit: The Chive

7. Same thing, right?

If this is true, I go camping A LOT.

Photo Credit: The Chive

6. Well, that one landed.

Flawless victory.

Photo Credit: The Chive

5. Me at every drive-in ever.

They don’t like me there.

Photo Credit: The Chive

4. Hey, not everybody can go pro!

Witches get stitches.

Photo Credit: The Chive

3. That makes sense, but it’s a chilling thought…

But would you drink it?

Photo Credit: The Chive

2. Oh chill chill…

What up?

Photo Credit: The Chive

1. We’ve got some numerologists in here…

… and they be cracking them jokes like they’re walnuts!

Photo Credit: The Chive

Now that was a fun time, yeah?

And that joke at the front? Worth the wait, right?

I love that you humor me so often. It’s a kindness I’ll never be able to repay.

*hugs the internet tight*