So… guys… what exactly do you think you’re doing to the ladies out there? Because the first dates that these women are describing sound NUTS.

What in the what in the WHAT?!

The twitter thread started off with a simple question…

And lo did the stories flow…

1. So… sounds like there was no chemistry?

Also… what does this guy have against organization?!?

Photo Credit: Someecards

2. I mean, in some cultures this means you’re married.

Are you married now? Hmmm…

Photo Credit: Twitter

3. OMFG… how gross!

I’m so sorry Adrienne. You deserve better.

Photo Credit: Twitter

4. Are you sure you didn’t go on a date with Satan?

Sounds like Satan to me…

Photo Credit: Twitter

5. So you’re saying he’s a religious man?

Save me, pls!

Photo Credit: Twitter

6. Does he know how percentages work?

Apparently not!

Photo Credit: Twitter

7. Wow… he’s been doing this for HOW long?

Why’s that girl still with him?!?

Photo Credit: Twitter

8. What is with these guys and Michael Jackson?

I mean, but was that a BAD date??

Photo Credit: Twitter

9. This is ground for divorce!

Or something like that…

Photo Credit: Twitter

10. I mean, that IS a thing.

But he should have let you know WELL ahead of that moment.

Photo Credit: Twitter

11. I think I’m in love.

I always pick THE best guys. Seriously.

Photo Credit: Twitter

12. Sounds like you got lucky!

Also, I read that as “pooped me down”… so there’s that!

Photo Credit: Twitter

Yeah folks… that stuff ACTUALLY happened. And now we’re all dumber for it.

What do you think? Have any horrible dates you want to share?

Let us know in the comments!