In case you’re wondering, trying to unearth facts from the bowels of your memories of high school history class, the American Confederacy lasted a total of around 5 years, and ended in flaming, disastrous defeat.
There are, in fact, many things that have lasted longer than 5 years, and these 12 people stand ready and willing to give you some context.
12. May it rest in peace.
Maybe one day it will rise again, and that would be ok.
Disco 💃
— Lucky Jim (@67LuckyJim) June 13, 2020
11. Awkward on so many levels.
I didn’t even know it could go that deep.
New Coke lasted longer than the Confederacy and boy is this awkward! 😆😳 pic.twitter.com/4WUulsC6KM
— Mark Girard (@coachG61) June 13, 2020
10. Hardly anyone remembers that.
Some things are best left to the dustbin of history.
Taco Bell’s cheeseburger was the first thing that came to mind for some reason.
— Matt Lamour 🏳️🌈 (@BeardedHeckler) June 13, 2020
9. Most bands, honestly.
And that’s saying something.
My band!!! @SpinDoctorsBand
— Chris Barron (@thechrisbarron) June 14, 2020
8. A blast from the past.
They’re usually not welcome, I don’t think.
MySpace
— Lizzy says tRump Pog Mo Thoin (@GoodeLizzy) June 13, 2020
7. That’s…something.
I hope Pat is still alive and has turned things around!
When I lived in West London I knew a bloke called Pat who went on a bender that lasted longer than the Confederacy.
— Leo 💙⬜🌈🍒⬜🏴🇯🇲🇪🇺 (@LeoVanDays) June 15, 2020
6. Now that’s an accomplishment.
Hat’s off to you, lady.
I breastfed longer than the Confederacy
— Kristina 💛🐝 (@souperfiga) June 13, 2020
5. I need brain bleach after reading this.
My eyes are burning a little, too.
Entourage, possibly the douchiest show in TV history lasted three more years than the confederacy. Coincidentally, one spray of AXE Body Spray can actually leave a scent that lasts 5 years. But most dude-bros use a can a week anyway.
— Michael Allen (@MichaelAllen__1) June 15, 2020
4. It took us way longer than that to realize our hair wasn’t ever going to look like hers.
She’s got magical hair.
The Rachel haircut.
— FeministsUnited (@All_Fem_United) June 13, 2020
3. That’s a lot of yikes for one tweet.
So many yikes on this thread, actually.
To put it in perspective, Donald Trump’s marriage to wife #2 of 3 Tiffany’s momma (Marla Maples) lasted 6 years.
— Mary 🇺🇸 (@wineprincessvip) June 15, 2020
2. Yikes.
I hope you get that cleared up soon.
I’ve had a weird rash on my ankle that’s lasted longer than the Confederacy.
— SUN (45 days) (@sun_cel) June 14, 2020
1. An excellent point.
Also a very weird point, but here we are.
The investigation to discover the identity of the Golden State Killer/EARONS lasted several decades. He has more history than the Confederacy and I don’t think anyone believes he deserves a commemorative statue.
— dinosaurgirl of the Shadow People (@dinosaurgirl) June 16, 2020
I could not love this thread more, I swear!
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