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12 People Tell Stories About Their Rudest Houseguests

Have you ever hosted a person at your house or apartment and they were just…well, horrible?

It’s the worst!

And it makes you never want to talk to them ever again.

Check out these stories about bad houseguests..and remember to mind your Ps and Qs when someone is nice enough to open up their place to you!

1. No!

“Came home, sitting in his boxers on my kitchen counter washing his feet and trimming toenails in my sink has got to take the cake.”

2. Ugh.

“A friend of my SO’s.

Showed up after 11pm on a weeknight with some other random friend. Came home after 11pm every night of the stay knowing we had to work in the morning. They weren’t quiet either. Home and ready to party and trying to get us to drink.

Spilled things and didn’t wipe up, left glassware everywhere, used the fancy dishes, and never picked up after themselves.

Never asked me anything about myself, insulted my restaurant recommendations, cheered against my team for no reason when I had the game on, and made a comment about how there must be a lot of “gay stuff” going on in my brother’s rehab stay.

Never stopped talking and bloviating, and was just obnoxious to be around. My SO was pi**ed when they left but now doesn’t seem to understand why I don’t want them back?”

3. Not good.

“My dad’s best friend and his family stayed with us for 2 weeks during the summer. I was 9 and my sister was a newborn (literally 2 weeks old when they arrived). Already off to a bad start

The wife kept putting my sister onto her stomach while she slept, when no one was looking. When my mum finally caught the wife doing it and told her to stop because the risk of cot death, she replied “i did it with all my kids and they turned out fine”. She continued doing it

The wife would only cook sausages and mashed potatoes for dinner, and get angry at my mum when she cooked something different. She also heavily restricted anyone in the kitchen, I had to ask permission to get a cup of water or eat a biscuit from the pantry.

Dads friend would tell us what activity we were allowed to do. Eg. You must play in the backyard right now, dont come inside unless you need the toilet. You must watch tv right now, I dont care if your not interested in the movie, just shut up and watch.”

4. Rearranged.

“They were house sitting for 2 or 3 weeks I can’t remember now. But when we got home, they’re rearranged almost all the furniture.

Most of it was just moving things back but they pushed an old teacher’s desk we had down into the basement, one of those huge metal monstrosities that weighs a ton. Well there was literally no way to get it back up those stairs without some kinda machine I couldn’t afford.

So that thing stayed in the basement and was sold with the home. They also damaged a recliner so it didn’t recline anymore and claimed they didn’t.”

5. Like a Seinfeld episode.

“I make all of my sandwiches for the week on Sunday night and put them in the refrigerator. An acquaintance was over with a group of friends, and he went into the kitchen for a minute. He came back with one of my premade sandwiches.

It’s not necessarily about the food per se (he could have easily made his own sandwich if he wanted to), But what would possess someone to take a premade sandwich from their hosts refrigerator without asking? This became my own personal Seinfeld episode.”

6. Happening right now.

“Am I allowed to talk about my current guests?

My flatmate’s friend has been here for nearly 6 days, they’ve used my food, expensive shower products, let their child run screaming up and down the hallway for hours without stopping, and (me being petty) looked at me like I am a weirdo for being out in my own kitchen.

They were supposed to leave yesterday. I’m very annoyed.”

7. This is wild.

“Boy oh boy, do I have a story for you.

So a couple years ago, just before the pandemic, our good friend and her boyfriend came to stay with my fiancee and I for a week. Our friend was a saint, her boyfriend was a literal goblin. To this day I have no idea how this man survived into his 20s, he was the absolute strangest person I’ve ever met. Very friendly, but very strange. We’ll call him Sven.

He was fine for the first couple of days. Took us all out for drinks, acted like a total gentleman. A couple of days in, he decides he wants to be a weed dealer in our neighborhood. For reference, we lived in a residential family neighborhood in “the hood” of our city. There were already several dealers on our block.

We tried to convince him this was a very bad idea, specifically because we didn’t want the other dealers on our block thinking our house was the competition. Sven did not listen. Fortunately nothing serious happened and he didn’t run into anyone important. He did, however run into our next door neighbor, and invited himself into the guy’s house.

Now, at this point Sven texted his girlfriend saying he was at the neighbor’s house just hanging out (our neighbor was a nice dude, but not someone we’ve ever actually hung out with), so we begin the process of trying to extract him. He’s not picking up on it because he has no understanding of social cues whatsoever.

Suddenly Sven stands up and exclaims “Aw s**t I’m bleeding!” His shin was bleeding a lot, he had apparently picked a scab. Our neighbor asked him if he wanted a bandaid, and Sven just said “nah man I can handle it”. We eventually got him out, but not before he bled all over the place.

The next morning my fiance gets up before the sunrise to use the bathroom and sees Sven in the back yard jerking off with his pants down. She decided not to confront him because it was weird. We later asked his girlfriend about it and offered to leave if they wanted to have s**, and apparently he believed it was rude to have s** in someone else’s house and thought it would be polite to jerk off in the yard. Again, residential family neighborhood. No idea what possessed him to think this was okay.

Sven had a condition where every time he was cold he would grab at his stomach and make audible “uhhh…brrrr” sounds, and complain that his stomach hurt. We couldn’t figure out what that had to do with being cold.

At one point Sven bought a gallon of milk and a can of chili, rapidly ate the chili and chugged the milk, and then projectile vomited all over the backyard. When we asked his girlfriend why he didn’t just use the toilet, she said he’d told her he “wanted to be polite”. I asked him about the vomit later on and he just said “uhh…ate too fast” and left it at that.

There were some other things that weren’t exceptionally noteworthy but were still annoying. He’d sleep in our living room all day and fart a lot. He’d take hour long showers and use up all of our hot water, shampoo, and conditioner.

On the day they’re supposed to leave I decide I’ve had enough and I’m burned out, so I get in my car and start driving to the local CVS on my street to pick up a few things and get out of the house. Lo and behold, Sven hops our fence, slides in my passenger door, and says he needs a couple things for the trip so he’d be coming with me. When we get there he’s just being loud and yelling across the store trying to have conversations with me, and at this point I’m just counting down the minutes until he leaves.

We get to the checkout line, he cuts in front of me, and before the cashier even starts ringing him up he starts asking for discounts. I believe he asked for the “out of towners discount” and also tried to apply for a credit card.

At a CVS. When this doesn’t work and his stuff comes out to more than he wanted it to, he said “aw s**t…hey man can you get me this drink, I thought I’d be able to get some discounts”. I reluctantly add his drink to my basket because I don’t want to deal with the hassle.

He looks in my basket, which contains shampoo and conditioner to replace the ones he used up, and says “d**n dude, you go through a lot of Suave for a bald guy”. No words.”

8. People can be terrible.

“I came home from work that day and my homie was there. With his girl and 4 kids for weeks in my 1000 sw foot house.

Ate all my food and wouldn’t leave me alone until I drove them 10 hours away to some family’s house.”

9. Scammer.

“My nephew who we were helping out.

Sold the car we let him use, got on a plane and left town. We didn’t even know he left until we received a Facebook message from some random guy saying my nephew told him to contact us for the pink slip. He left his bedroom filled with cigarette butts, empty beer cans, and old vapes.

I guess the worst part was taking off without saying goodbye- my children were pretty hurt.”

10. Cute kid.

“We have a 9-year-old little girl from down the street who’s friends with my daughter. She comes to our house at least every other day, and mostly just shows up.

She has an opinion about EVERYTHING we do. My wife or I can not make a move without feeling judged, or receiving some advice I would never expect from a 9-year-old, ranging from how messy our house is, to how we spend our money. And she talks back as much as my own kids.

It mostly makes us laugh. Mostly…”

11. Make yourself comfortable.

“I let a friend stay with me while he was in town. At the time I lived with 4 other people. He woke up in the morning and just started rummaging through the cupboards and was eating my roommates’ food.

When I asked him why he would do that, and that it wasn’t even mine to offer to him, he said he would want guests at his house to feel comfortable just eating the food in the cupboards.”

12. Classy.

“My fiancé invited her friend over for weekend once and she ended up bringing her boyfriend with her. They stayed for 2 weeks.

During the first few days they’d go to the bathroom and “shower” except their showers lasted about an hour. They were quite obviously having s** but left the shower running the whole time trying and failing cover the sound of her moaning and their bodies slapping together.

The second time they did this we told them we know they’re having s** and they can continue to do so only if they’re willing to pay the extra amount they’re putting on the water bill with their “showers”. However this caused them to just start randomly f**king whenever we left the room.

I remember we were making them dinner in the kitchen and there was a little window where you could see into the living room and I heard noise and looked in to see the duvet moving up and down in a way that was obvious what they were doing. My fiancé and I just stood in the kitchen waiting for them to finish and then they complained the food was cold.

Towards the end of the second week I went to pick up my fiancé from work and we came back to see them both butt naked f**king on our sofa. They saw us come in and didn’t stop, just carried on. It was at that point we asked them to leave. The boyfriend pulled out and came on the carpet and then they got dressed and left. Needless to say my fiancé was not friends with them after that.”

Have you ever had to deal with any rude houseguests?

If so, tell us all about it in the comments.

Thanks a lot!