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It takes a ton of courage to admit to yourself (and your insurance company) that you would benefit from talking to a therapist, and it takes even more courage than that to walk into someone’s office and let them into your life, your mind, and your past.
Which is why is must feel like an incredible violation to have a professional say something indelicate and truly awful during your treatment – and no one should have to hear what these 12 folks heard in what was supposed to be a safe space.
12. Either way, you’re supposed to help.
“‘I think you’re happy being depressed.’
No, just dealing with the comfort in my sadness that comes from chronic, 20-year-old depression.”
—AwesomeAmanda523
11. That’s very rarely the answer.
“I was struggling with intimacy with my partner during a deep-depressive episode that lasted a couple of years. During this episode, I was coming to terms with a previous sexual assault.
The therapist I started seeing told me to ‘just do it’ with my partner, despite my sex-related trauma, and I stopped seeing her right then and there. I started seeing a new therapist who actually helped me, and now my partner and I have never been closer.”
—serenitybmahoney
10. Jealous, much?
“I have childhood PTSD and experience horrible anxiety attacks as an adult. I was wearing a nice sweater in the session, and we were discussing anxiety-attack coping mechanisms.
She very snidely said, ‘You should go shopping when you feel anxious. You clearly like designer things.’ I was floored.”
—Anonymous
9. I don’t think he should be working with children.
“My mom had me go to therapy when I was 12 after my dad passed and I was in the room when it happened. I was a really shy kid and didn’t want to go, let alone open up to a stranger about an ordeal I didn’t even fully understand yet.
After I was not giving him a whole lot in the way of answers, he asked me, ‘Do you even miss your dad?’ Maybe examine your way of talking to a grieving child before blaming said child, asshole.”
—bcgt5922
8. Who would say that to a child?
“I was 10, and TWO different therapists said, ‘You’re the reason for your parents’ divorce.’ They failed to acknowledge my father’s abuse, saying I was the problem…nope.
I told my school about the abuse, and with a push from the Department of Homeland Security, my mom finally left after we were locked out of the house and left homeless. I may have gotten the ball rolling, but I am not the reason they divorced.”
—indyanna
7. Yeah that’s not how this works.
“Multiple therapists told me I was only questioning my gender identity because I ‘didn’t have enough strong female role models.’
I won awards for my contributions to women’s leadership and public service in college. In fact, seeing strong female professors in med school is part of what inspired me to come out as a trans man when I realized I couldn’t see myself as them.”
—Anonymous
6. Why would they want to do that?
“‘Have you tried seeing it from your abuser’s point of view?’ She literally used the word ‘abuser’ because the situation was that clear-cut.
Yes, actually, I’ve spent a long time trying to understand my abuser’s point of view, and had come here to think about my own feelings for a change rather than theirs.
Did not go back to that therapist.”
—GlamorousAnarchist
5. Since when is self-awareness a bad thing?
“I was 15 and I had a problem trusting men (I had extremely negative experiences with different men growing up, including my bio dad, my stepdad, a neighboring teenager, and my best friend’s stepdad). I had just moved, so I was meeting with a new therapist for the first time, and he told me that I was too self-aware of my problems and he wouldn’t be able to help me.
I guess it didn’t matter to him that I had spent the last two years working with my previous therapist to come to the realizations that had led me to be so self-aware of where I was struggling.”
—paulau4fbdfb725
4. At least she’s permanently out of the office.
“A therapist said to me, ‘I don’t think you’re doing badly enough to test you for anxiety.’ I was miserable, constantly stressed, and having complete breakdowns at least twice a week, and she completely invalidated that after talking to me for five minutes.
After I went straight to a doctor to get diagnosed, the therapist pretty much just said, ‘Oops.’ She got fired from the college shortly after because a lot of students had various issues with her.” —Anonymous
3. Not relevant.
“They said, ‘I think you would feel better if you got some of that weight off of you.’
Ummm, I’m here because my cousin raped me when I was a child, but thanks for letting me know that losing weight will solve all of my problems.”
—Anonymous
2. It’s not her job to make him a better father.
And this: “I was in therapy dealing with the fact that my father didn’t really know how to be one and was never there, which caused me to try to be perfect (which, SPOILER ALERT, isn’t healthy).
My therapist told me I needed to try harder and that if I found something my father actually cared about, he’d be a better dad. I explained that I had already emulated as much as I could from his high school years (soccer, choir, etc.), but she insisted I hadn’t done enough.”
—manningl428
1. Well they weren’t before then…
“An awful psychiatrist I was seeing discharged me and said, ‘Well, you’re not sitting in a corner rocking and crying, so you’ll be OK!’
Who says something like that, let alone a psychiatrist? I left crying!”
—lovecats1
I don’t know what I would say, but it wouldn’t be anything nice.
If anything like this has happened to you, share the story with us down in the comments.
