15 Straight Guys Confess the “Gayest” Thing They’ve Ever Done

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Some of these 12 guys are actually probably gay and the rest think saunas are gay, so basically it’s a fairly accurate cross sample of the male species.

#15. It sort of became my thing.

“My wife and I hang out with a lot of married couples. I realized that when I greet the wives in the group and when we leave, I kiss them on the cheek. After realizing that I was doing this without really thinking about it, I just started doing it to the guys too. That way they don’t think I’m some weird creep trying to mack on their wives, they just think I’m weird.

Surprisingly everyone is cool with it and it’s just sort of become my thing. Just about everyone leans into it now and gets confused if I happen to not give them a kiss on the cheek.”

#14. Child’s play.

“I said I was gay in fifth grade so people would stop thinking I liked this one girl.”

#13. I guess.

“Kissed a dude, I guess. Or if you think that sitting in a hot room with a bunch of naked sweaty dudes is gayer, then that. (Sauna, I’m finnish.)”

#12. That moment now doesn’t exist.

“I had a sleepover at my friends house when I was 13, and we laid out some blankets and fell asleep in his living room. I woke up first to him spooning me, and I didn’t move at all because I wanted to avoid any awkward moment in our friendship by having us both know of that cuddle moment, so I laid there as still as I could for maybe 30 minutes until he woke up and quickly but carefully got off of me. I then got up 10 minutes later, and that moment now doesn’t exist in our friendship”

#11. I lit the beacon.

“I pretended to be Kevin’s boyfriend for the night and inadvertently signaled my availability to a gay bar.

When I was backpacking in Sydney a bunch of Irish girls at the backpacker hostel (Jolly Swagman FTW) wanted to go to this place on Oxford Street. As far as guys go: there was me, Irish man named Kevin, and two Danish men we called The Two Jans (pronounced Yans). As soon as it became apparent the place was a gay bar (on a street full of gay bars and clubs. Thanks girls) and the girls wanted to see our reactions, the Jans left. Me and Kevin stayed.

We figured that we got to flirt with these girls knowing that we wouldn’t get anywhere, but the fact that we were in the group as two guys meant the other patrons would think we were an item and these were our lady friends so we were safe enough.

I did get a little bored near the end so I started shining my laser pointer on my keychain up at the ceiling …and my dot was joined by another. And another. And another …fucking hell, laser pointers were a gay Bat Signal in Sydney in 1998.

So yeah. That would be it. I lit the beacon and Gaylords called for aid.”

#10. A bulge in his pants.

“Lost my phone, thought my friend took it because he had a bulge in his pants, grabbed said bulge, handful of dick.”

#9. I hate it when that happens.

“Went to tuck in my homie one night, tripped over a shoe and my mouth landed on his dick.”

#8. Wedding invites forthcoming.

“My best bro and I are so gay together. We consistently flirt and one time, at a party, a girl asked one of our close friends if we were gay. He was like ,Nooo, not at…. Well… We don’t THINK so?”

His mom once told him he was allowed to invite me to family dinner and he was like, “I know?” And she then said ,”and you know we would support you if…”

We made out once to get two chicks to make out.

I’m pretty sure I’m in denial

Edit: WE are in denial. Also we know all the words to no homo by lonely island and frequently sing together

Edit2: my girlfriend (ik,r?) Says I have to tell you about something that was recent. Before I met her, I ended up moving in with my parents for about eight months. About halfway through that time, my best bro needed a place to stay and my parents know how close we are, so they let him stay with us. We were going to get an air mattress for him, but the first night he got there it was really late and we decided just to share the bed. Fast forward 4 months, we’re still sleeping together in the same bed. It was cute”

#7. That game of Strip Uno got out of hand fast.

“Made out naked with a dude in the living room of his girlfriend’s parents’ house. It was the price to pay for something that never came to fruition. That game of strip uno got out of hand fast.

Edit: because people keep asking, we were drinking heavily and thought we could get our girlfriends naked and make out. Hot, right? That was our thought. Well we set forth the rules of one piece of clithing per lost hand. Us on one team girls on the other. Last loss would be make out. Well WE FUCKING LOST entirely because we forgot about girls having one extra article of clothing than men. They were laughing their way to the proverbial bank.”

#6. Did not mind it.

“Once tried hugging a bro goodbye and we ended up making lip contact for more than a second by accident.

Did not mind it. Handsome fella. Tender kisser. Bugged his gf about it for the next three years”

#5. A professional.

“I’m a professional body piercer. I touch other dudes’ dicks all the time.”

#4. In person.

“I’ve probably seen more dicks in person than most other men thanks to the military”

#3. Probably.

“2015: me a horny college freshman with a GF that I was figuring how to break up with.

I went to a conference 5-6 hours away in a large city, with approximately 700 college students attending. Like any college event, after it was over, there was after hours fun with alcohol and partying.

Went to a party with some friends, clicked with a girl who keep feeding me drinks until I was exploding with lust, drunk, and ready to fuck something. Long story short, I realized some of her(the GF) friends were there and I stopped myself.

Hotel room, 2 hours later, drunk and sleeping in a king bed with a dude because my college was cheap, I started dreaming about fucking the girl at the party.

Turns out I had been spooning the dude on the other side of the bed by accident and probably humping him in my sleep.”

#2. We said nothing.

“On deployment in the Marine Corps. I was laying in the desert next to my team leader under a perfect sky. All the stars were out and the air felt like the shade on a hot day. Him and I talked calmly about our families, our dreams, and how perfect the sky looked and how small that made us. “Hold my hand” he said. I could feel, without touching, that his arm was extending. Over the course of the following second I contemplated my whole existence before half consciously reaching out to him. His hand felt nice and we said nothing. This lasted for maybe 10 minutes until we fell asleep.”

#1. That’s pretty far to go.

“Once, my friend group decided to skinny dip and play truth or dare. The girls wanted to see how far us guys would go so they kept daring us to do shit like make out, touch each other’s dicks, etc. For me personally, I made out with another guy, and one of the guys kissed my dick. I’d say that’s pretty far to go for all of us. We’re all straight.”

See what I mean? So relieved no one said talking about their feelings was gay, though.