“Can’t you knock?!” is something that I think every teenager has screamed at their parents at one time or another.
And they’re not wrong. Think about it — if parents don’t knock, they might stumble onto a situation that will leave both child and guardian scarred for life.
AskReddit users shared their most embarrassing stories as cautionary tales for parents who aren’t the best at knocking before entering their kid’s room.
1. What’s going on in here?!?
“I had a bed platform for a while, and it got very squeaky.
I was cleaning one day, reaching to my left, tossing on my right, the whole time squeaking the bed. My mom didn’t knock and immediately open, she straight up bust through the door as quick as she could, having approached it with stealth, whereas any other time she would drag her feet through the hall like a sloth.
What it did accomplish, is it almost gave me a heart attack. I jumped nearly half a foot, it was that abrupt.
Needless to say, I haven’t been able to stop wondering what my mother was hoping to see. I can’t even look at her without thinking she’s some kind of a creep; you hear your son’s bed squeaking, so you sneak up, and bust through the door…why!?”
2. Never again
“Walked in on my kid masturbating once. ONCE. Never again. To his credit, he took it like a champ. “Dude, you’re supposed to knock.”
3. For all you know
“I had to move back in with my folks after splitting from my wife. My mom tried to pull that shit on me, but I was smart and the door was always locked. So instead I would get, “The door’s locked!” Yeah, no crap. Why are you trying to barge in here. I could be naked with a hairbrush up my butt for all you know.”
4. Doing the deed
“Very modern family thing here. My parents never knock. So I usually lock it so they can’t open and catch me doing something wrong. But that habit of never knocking kind of instilled in my brain. So I never knocked as a kid either.
Saw some crap when I walked into brothers room once. Also know that every time my parents do lock the door, they’re doing the deed. Therefore. Teach kids to knock and wait until you open. Do the same for them. Don’t waltz in. Don’t barge in. Because they’ll do that to you too. Learn from me.”
5. Thanks, Pauline
“My mom did and still does that when I go back home to visit once a year (I’m 30 btw).
Toc-toc-toc can I come in? Opens the door…
Sometimes I’ll open my eyes to her grabbing empty water bottles out of my room! Oh sorry I though you were sleeping!
Yes Pauline I was sleeping until you decided to come in at 7 am on my vacation time for no reason. The worst is that my grandma is nothing like that.. only her. No respect for privacy or sleep.”
6. No more door knob
“Knocking? Parents knock? My mom took away my door knob because I shut the door to change my insulin pump while she was yelling at me for not having my college apps done 2 months early.”
7. That’s creepy
“I’m in my thirties. My mom lets me know she decided to come over by pressing her face up to the windows. Sometimes from the backyard.”
8. No sense of privacy
“This thread reminds me why I moved into a 5th floor apartment with no elevator. My mother hates taking a lot of stairs (medical problem) and she would be in my apartment every day if it weren’t for the stairs. I love my mother, but she has zero sense for privacy.”
9. I’ll be back in three minutes
“UGH. My mom used to do that, if she knocked at all. So, at my house with my kid, I knock. I let the kid know what I’m doing. “Hey [kid], I have laundry for you,” or “Hey [kid], I need to talk to you.”
Then I wait for an okay. Only then do I open the door.
If by chance I get a “Not right now, Mom,” I say, “I’ll be back in exactly three minutes.” And that’s what happens.”
10. Thanks, mom
“My mom barged in once while I was jerking off and it was to me tell my friend died.”
“We lived with my in laws for a month while between apartments, my MIL would always barge in to “clean” or “just grab something from the closet.” One night she swung the door open at TWO IN THE GODDAMN MORNING, don’t know why. I’m startled out of a deep sleep, confused, and see a silhouette standing in my doorway, so naturally I start screaming at the top of my lungs in terror. That was the last time she did that, haha.”
“My mother walked in on me using an electric bikini trimmer once. I had one leg propped up on the edge of the tub and was leaning back against the wall with my pelvis tilted upwards. So here I am taming the wild bush, and boom my mother throws open the door and then acts shocked at what I’m doing. She then later told me that any man that wanted a woman with shaved pubic hair was a pedophile bc only children do not have pubic hair. I was like wtf Ma! I shave because the hair itches me and I don’t like it.
Edited to add this: just because my mother said a few crazy comments in her life, doesn’t mean she was a bad person. I’m sure everybody has said at least a few crazy things in their lives. Please chill everybody, it’s just a funny story that happened 15 years ago. Can’t we all just laugh at my teenage self getting caught shaving my groin. It’s not this serious.”
“When I was 11 or so I knocked on my parents door to have them help me open something and they didn’t answer so then let myself in. They were having sex. So I’ll never do that again.
I also don’t just walk in to peoples houses even if they tell me to, I wait for them to open the door for me. When I was 8 I had a friend down the street call and ask me to come over. He told me just to walk in… I do and happen to see his dad walking around completely naked. So needless to say I’m pretty scarred for life.”
14. You will wait
“My boyfriend’s mom did this. Ended up walking in to us doing the deed. She now waits.”
15. Learned a lesson
“My dad used to do this all the time, until one day I stopped him and told him “Look, you’re free to barge in whenever you want to, but someday you’re gonna come in and I’ll be d*ck in hand.” He laughed. I laughed. He knocks and waits now.”