If you are or have been married, you know that the littlest things, over time, can fester into much bigger problems. It’s also true that it’s easy enough to lose perspective when you’re inside a world of your own making for quite some time.
Those are both reasons that people seek out therapists, but listen….these 13 reasons for making appointments are still seriously petty.
13. Some things you can’t forget.
My mum still talks about the Christmas where my dad didn’t help her peel and prepare a bag of sprouts.
They were divorced and he’s dead and it still comes up from time to time.
12. How is this a thing people care about?
My ex-coworker once told me about an argument he and his girlfriend regularly have. Apparently, when you make a sandwich, some people care about whether the bread remains facing the same way it did in the original loaf or if one piece gets turned around relative to the other.
I don’t just mean top of the loaf remains facing the same way, I mean the cut sides of the slices remain facing the slice they were originally cut from. I told my fiance about this ridiculousness and he said “no, I see her point” and now I have to regularly have conservations about which way bread is facing.
11. To be fair, this might mean he’s a pod person.
There was a couple who fought because the husband stopped liking cheese for some reason
10. Why never bring it up?
My ex wife suggested we go to marriage counseling because she felt we needed to work on communication. I was slightly confused since we never really fought about anything and I didn’t know that much was amiss.
So I went with her and we had several sessions and it basically turned into just parenting classes since we didn’t seem to have any issues to work on.
Then one day she tells me she’s bi and is going to go sleep with a married couple she’s been friends with for a week because that’s the only thing that’s going to make her happy.
Would have been nice to know in marriage counseling that that was the real issue she was wanting to work on since I had no idea she was struggling with her sexuality. Guess there really was a communication issue.
9. “But not usually.”
There is no “stupid” reason to seek out counseling. What may seem trivial to one person can completely consume another person. What may seem insignificant to you might just be the last straw for a client. It’s our job to figure out why that “stupid” reason caused them to land in your care.
Sometimes it’s a lot of minor things that built up because they don’t have any good coping mechanisms. Sometimes it’s a major problem that they don’t want to talk about, so they start small. Sometimes it’s something they don’t even realise is a problem, but is causing them distress regardless.
There’s a lot of reasons why clients might present you with something that seems completely insignificant, but the fact is, they are in front of you, paying you money, so that you can help them improve their mental health. 99% of the time, that means that they believe getting help is worth their time and money.
He then proceeded to tell us a story about a woman who believed that Ashton Kutcher was her baby’s daddy, and she wanted a psychiatric professional to verify her mental health so she could file for child support and reconnect with him. As far as he could tell, she had never met Ashton Kutcher, or even seen him in person. So like. Sometimes people are crazy. But not usually.
8. Dodged a bullet there.
On weekends, I take a nap in the afternoon. Boyfriend was not ok with that and insisted I stop.
I’ll never forget the surreal feeling of his roommates watching me leave his house while he yelled at me.
7. That is a legit reason for counseling. And also divorce.
Vaccinate their child.
Dad say Go, mom says no.
6. Wow. Cold.
Nothing is really stupid in making the decision to come in for a couples session.
But the most startling session I’ve had was when the couple had barely sat down and one of them informed the other that the relationship was over, turned to me and said “thank you for supporting (partner) through this” and left the office.
5. Sh%t happens.
Not me but my buddy’s wife demanded counseling after he refused to “fix” his habit of leaving the seat up.
Apparently the straw that broke the camel’s back was he didn’t realize his poo ‘came back up’ and she fell into the toilet on his old, waterlogged shit.
4. That is definitely bizarre.
I had a woman come in for couples counseling. Over the phone she reported that her boyfriend (with the same last name- very confusing) was distant and was refusing to listening. When the session started it was just her that showed up. She went on and on about how absent he was and how he refused to see the progress she had been making in her life.
It turns out the “boyfriend” was an ex who had a restraining order against her and lived halfway across the country from her. She was delusional and was receiving treatment for her mental health issues. She just could not get her thinking away from him and legally changed her last name to his because it would mean they would be together.
She figured couples counseling was the way to work our their relationship issues.
3. It’s never about the spoon.
Not a counselor. But me and my ex had the biggest fight known later as the “spoon incident”.
We were both working over 60 hours a week and we’re stressed. Nonetheless we had one night off together so I made sure that I had cleaned the house and everything before she came home. She came back while I was unpacking the dishwasher and put the last cutlery in the drawers.
When I finally put a spoon in the drawer she said “that’s not where it’s supposed to go”. I asked her whether this is the way you want to treat me after I’ve cleaned the house and stuff? Never been so pissed at a GF, while it was actually fairly meaningless.
2. That poor therapist.
My ex made an appt for us when he got his side girl pregnant.
I was 26 and in grad school, lonely, stressed, and horribly gaslit, and went along.
At the time the therapist would say “if he hasn’t changed by now he’s not going to…..usually I’m trying to keep people together but I’m not sure I can now” and I would get mad.
Now I look back and things come on girl, run
1. Toxic masculinity comes from women, too.
I had a guy friend whose now ex-wife dragged him to couples counseling because he was “too nurturing” and she wanted him to be “more of a real man”. She actually complained about how when her female friends sat around complaining about their husbands, she couldn’t join in, cuz my friend wasn’t an emotionally stunted man-child.
Halfway through their first session, he told her he wanted a divorce and walked out, lol. That was right after she’d been telling the therapist about how she’d known he wasn’t an archetypal “man’s man” when they got together, but that she’d always thought she could change him into “a real man”. CHRIST, she was insufferable.
He’s now with an absolute Amazon of a woman, whom we all adore. They couldn’t possibly be more perfect for one another 💖
I recommend marriage counseling to literally every couple, because if you feel like you want to go, it can’t hurt – no matter your gripe.
Why did you first make that appointment? Tell us in the comments!